Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Reader Mail: Tony Turns in his Brother for a Douche Violation
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DB1,
I’m a huge fan. Loyal from Day 1.
So here’s a pic of my younger brother and his girlfriend. He thinks he’s so cool with his shiny suit. Just plain old douche to me. This pic is loaded. Does it make the cut.
Oh, and I don’t need the world knowing it was me who submitted it. I’m not Fredo.
-Tony
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And then, after my appeal to take credit for the hard work of a familial douche intervention:
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Ok. Run it. I’ll alert the local HCwDB fanbase.
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Run it I shall. For your bro needs to have his silk jacket and pointy pose mocked for all eternity. And Bouncy Sandrina needs to show more cleve.
That is a shiny suit. I’m likin’ it. I like that shiny suit. A LOT.
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He needs to leave that woman alone before she gets that urine sample all over that nice suit.
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Ask your brother where he got that suit from. Let me know.
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I like it.
You could shine jewelry on that suit.
I would rock that sports coat over my bad ass new 3-wolves t-shirt I got in the mail yesterday.
I wonder if he remembers what his life was like before he got that sweet ass suit? Why would he want to?
Looks like your bro needs a little grass on the fairway there. Nice suit. I think that’s sharkskin.
He got that suit at a thrift store on Melrose Avenue. It used to belong to Frazier Smith… Sheckie! Get the jet!
If I wear a shark skin suit, do I get a Brittany Spears also?
I see the douchebag but I don’t see no hot chick. Also I don’t see no English Grammar awards in my near forseeable future.
@DizzleSock, tight, you got the shirt! You will be swimmin’ in poon and shit real soon.
Hey L’il Bro,
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Have you looked into purchasing a pinky ring? It may add to your look. Also, it may endear you to grandparents everywhere that remember when a man wore a fedora. Have you looked into purchasing a fedora? That may endear you to the older generation as they recall wingtip dress shoes. Have you looked into purchasing some lace-up wingtips? …………..
10-12 years ago I’d have given your brother props for hooking up with Britney Spears, but nowadays anyone can.
And a pocket watch
You’re right MF- that bitch be lookin rough
@smackdouche
Britney? No way. That’s a Poor Man’s Anna Nicole Smith if I ever saw one. She will not age well.
He’s Iron Douche. And boy that TV’s Tina Yothers is still butt fucking ugly. Oh waitress, I would like another Pepsi with a valium chaser please.
Um, Tony, you’re brother’s looking like Fredo there. Now be a good Michael, give him the kiss of death, and tell him how he broke your heart.
Maybe she won’t age well, but he’s not poppin’ her 20 years from now. Props to the kid, and hey, that suit’s not bad at all.
Now go get me some fuccen linguini, like I told ya.
@smackdouche 9:43
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I don’t think that’s Britney I think it’s Brian Haley with a weave.
It’s amazing how lifelike you can pose a RealDoll.
I actually really like the suit. Were it not for the point and the Smugface(tm), I would actually give him a notta. I have to add, though, that bleached hair does not automatically make a woman more attractive, in fact it usually has the opposite effect, as is seen in this case here. I hope she sucks like an Ethiopian trying to get a drop of water out of the sand, ’cause she’s definitely hard on the eyes, and most likely not a skilled conversationalist.
Why is there a verbal overlay in my head that sounds like a used car salesman trying to get me to buy the lot lemon coming from this guy “Hey, what do I have to do to put you in a skank like this today? Don’t like the hair? No prawblem! We can make it any color you want. Forehead 3 feet too high? Benny, gimme that wrench. *wap wap wap* There, that better? Too many miles? Well that my friend, is what you get with an older model. So how ’bout it? I’ll let her go for 199. No, really. $1.99 I got pleeeenty in back.” Either that or he’s trying to move some discount Slap Chops that Vince used on that hooker awhile ago.
If she were in India, Bollywood producers would keep tripping her with hidden ropes.
^…..okay you lost me completely with the “hidden ropes” thing.
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Is that a horse thing? You do like your horse things.
That Wayne Arnold always could pull some quality tail.
You slap a wig on that killer from Manhunter and you still have to deal with that dead behind the eyes look.
I really do like that dude’s suit, also.
@Baron
See this past Sundays vid and you’ll have your answers regarding Bollywood horse play. It’s tragic yet comical at the same time.
Tony, we’re going to need to see more in order to properly judge. And by more, I mean send us your brother’s passwords to the various porn sights he’s subscribed to. Thanks.
Hot damn, that suit’s shinier than a spit-shine, and likely more slippery than a loaded latex condom.
Son.
A bleached blonde moll looks really appropriate with a shiny suited wadster.
In Joisey.
Chicagah
Vegas.
That suit was only cool in the early 60’s when Jerry Lewis wore it in the movie The Nutty Professor.