Friday, April 8, 2011

Russell Has a Cold Neck

Either that or his neck just joined OPEC.

Yeah. That was an OPEC reference. Because it’s Friday. And your humble narrator is stumbling around his basement garage living quarters trying not to trip over the burnt grilled cheese covered hot plate and discovering if penicillin really does grow organically on socks.

But then there’s Art Student Marjorie. Who is still fooled by Hipsterbaggery.

And so the DB1 knows the fight must continue. To save boobie hottie suckle thigh. From having to spend two hours at Russell’s Williamsburg loft pretending vinyl sounds better.

# posted by douchebag1
9:43 am April, 8 SuckaLemon57 said...

has the popped collar finally died out??

9:48 am April, 8 Douche Springsteen said...

Was this pic taken in America? When I was in eastern Europe last spring, all the “cool dudes” were wearing scarves like this. And Marjorie has that kind of crazy eyed Slavic look that only comes from generations of totalitarian oppression and heavy drinking.
Although if globalization has taught us anything, it’s that fung taint is not confined to any one region and takes to the wind to find purchase in the soil of other lands.

9:48 am April, 8 DarkSock said...

Al Qaida necked sumbitch; he hates FRAYDUM! Git ‘im, Dubya!

9:49 am April, 8 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Art student Marjorie looks insane. The good type of insane, kinda of a wash your hands 10 times each morning as opposed to the filling up Russell’s ironic 81 Datsun with a family of opossums.

9:53 am April, 8 Douche Assassin said...

I want a tier 1 operator from special ops to beat his ass for being a poser.

10:05 am April, 8 Anonymous said...

Ain’t no proper Merkin that wear an A-rab diaper on his neck. That sumbitch is a commie lovin traitor!!

10:10 am April, 8 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I got nothing..
I am waiting for Friday Ass Pear.

10:24 am April, 8 Vin Douchal said...

Short sleeved sports coat. Veerrrry chic Abdullah…..
.
……….. okay I’ll have $5 Mega Millions quick pick for tonight,.a can of Kodiak and gimme $10 on #5 in the first cockk fight this afternoon.

10:26 am April, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

This fashion abomination has irked me for quite awhile, cause nothing says fashion quite like clueless $200 dollar jean wearing fashionistas sporting Palestinian inspired Keffiyeh’s. Nothing against Middle East culture but is necessary to subvert their culturally practical clothing in the name of fashion so you can look cool strolling down Newbury street, Michigan ave, etc;. What’s next Kilt’s? Lederhosen?

10:39 am April, 8 Wedgie said...

His necck might be cold, but at least his cocck is small.
Nice fiveheads on both of them, too.

10:39 am April, 8 Wedgie said...

PS, make sure to return grammy’s tablecloth when you’re done with it.

11:02 am April, 8 G said...

At least he is wearing the scarf…half way to being strangled.

11:19 am April, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

She’s got a bit of that Marcia Cross vibe goin’ on. That’s not a bad thing. He’s got a Sirhan Sirhan’s younger-brother-who-was-kept-locked-up-in-the-basement-because-he-was-caught-playing-“doctor”-with-the-neighbors-goats-too-often kind of look about him. That is a terrible, terrible thing.

11:21 am April, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His terrorist cell has just been activated and he’s enlisted the help of Marjorie to help him find the area between Iraq and Ahardplace. She thinks he’s kidding. Sadly, he isn’t.

11:29 am April, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Shiny jacket with the sleeves pushed up. Is this Palestine Vice?

11:32 am April, 8 ehcuodouche said...

BEAN!

11:32 am April, 8 Mock Marked said...

I hate this trend. Especially on dudes. A lobster bib would be sexier.
She looks like Angelina Jolie’s little sister, Mangelina Jolie.

11:38 am April, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

“pretending vinyl sounds better”
.
It’s not that she’s pretending the quality is better it’s pretending to really dig Serge Gainsbourg and ABBA and trying understand Russell’s insistence this is what good music is all about.

11:39 am April, 8 Mock Marked said...

@Et Tu, that would be awesome if lederhosen came back in style. I would support that fad.

11:47 am April, 8 Mock Marked said...

And everyone knows 8 track is where its at. If a dude had a super sick 8 track collection, watch out! I would tie my damn self to the bed.

11:48 am April, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

Russell’s neck just joined the Intifada. Watchoo got against the Jews Russell?

11:52 am April, 8 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

what is that on the top of his head? it looks like the clump of hair I rodded out of my bathtub drain the other week. deal with your baldness Ivan the douchable.

11:52 am April, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

That reminds me. Went to the Descendents/Bad Religion/Rise Against show last night in Long Beach. If you were still on the fence whether punk is dead, wonder no more. Buncha bros and their rich bratty girlfriends. Most embarrassing waste of money in quite a while for me.

11:54 am April, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

And also, as someone who’s been active on the left for quite some time, there is nothing more enraging to me than someone sporting hip rebellion gear for the purposes of attracting hott and getting laid. Meanwhile, the ones who actually devote themselves to change and don’t doff the cultural signifiers get PUNISHED, as Adam Carolla puts it so well.

12:15 pm April, 8 The Reverend Chad in Rehab Jonesing said...

^ Sunni Crockett

12:40 pm April, 8 tall guy said...

Art Student Marjorie does look somewhat odd. Attractive, but scary in a kind of Endora from Bewitched way. But still, if she offered more head i’d hardly refuse…

Sunni Crockett? What a lolcock!

12:44 pm April, 8 Banana Hammock said...

and Marjorie has a hot bod

12:50 pm April, 8 Anonymous said...

With all this talk of government shut downs, and the depressing shennanigans of Washington politicians, I just want some Friday pear to brighten my day.

Is that so wrong? Do I ask too much?

4:20 pm April, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

I have to confess, I own a shemagh. Mr. Biscotti is quite into the military thing and owns tons of gear from arounds the globes. Anyway, he picked up a couple in Israel and ranted and raved about how awesomely warm it was. I bitched and yelled that a napkin could not possibly be warm and that those thing were for hipster douchebags. Chicago’s Wicker Park is loaded with hipstercoccks wearing shemaghs with t-shirts on a roastingly hot summer day. So this last winter, Mr. B. came back with a British issue Shemagh–True, they’re not only from the middle east–for me. A dull, mustard yellow and nothing I couldn’t stuff into my coat out fo shame while still being polite and thankful for a gift.
.
I have to admit, it is the warmest motherfucking thing I have ever wrapped around my head since my first girlfriend’s powerful thighs. I no longer have shit to say about anyone wearing one–IN THE WINTER, WITH WINTER GEAR. However, wearing it like this assclown in the photo here–punishable by waterboarding.

8:59 pm April, 8 Stephanie said...

Vinyl does sound better. But I wouldn’t go to Russell’s house to listen to his turntable. Creepy.

10:51 pm April, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Marjorie’s a music student, no doubt…okay, that’s a KIND of art student…and he’s a voice student wearing the traditional vocal cord protector, the keffiyeh. Oh, any scarf will do, they’re all the same as long as they get the job done: warm the neck for sond, and of course, for the hottie.
Sorry to burst your douche bubble, DB1, but in the name of St Cecelia, get with the classical crowd from time to time.
They’re the ones who sometimes make love to the steady beat of Ravel’s “Bolero.”

1:33 am April, 9 Guid is Good said...

Yasser Arafat’s ghost rang. He says put the tablecloth back. Now!

6:45 am April, 9 Hermit said...

Though I couldn’t find a Quran, this picture pissed me off so much I burned a copy of Lawrence of Arabia and six old issues of Sports Illustrated for good measure.

6:33 pm April, 10 DarkSock said...

Unless you are poor ol’ Roger Ebert you have no excuse to wear such a silly thing.
.
.
Too Early?

7:16 pm April, 10 Steve L. said...

Russel has a non-functional neck.

10:46 pm April, 10 anthony morrison said...

It can be pretending to really dig Serge Gainsbourg and ABBA and trying understand Russell’s insistence this is what good music is all about.

7:04 am April, 11 Book of Ra online spielen said...

“She’s got a bit of that Marcia Cross vibe goin’ on. That’s not a bad thing.”
Such true words 🙂

12:36 pm April, 11 Wheezer said...

Russell may or may not be missing a chromosome.

12:47 pm April, 11 To Mock a Killingbird said...

@buy silver, subtext is plain as day. Have more babies so we can have more customers. Marketing 101.

12:15 pm April, 12 Josh DuscheHammer said...

Anybody stupid enough to wear a keiffia should just go all the way. Strap on the dynamite and hit the button, bouchedag!

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