Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Skinny D and Maggie the Quartasian Hottie

Pic Deleted

Skinny D? Brooklyn b-boy hipsterpud. Give him a stage-2 violation ticket and send him on his way to his night shift at Denny’s.

Now Maggie the Quartasian Hottie on the left deserves a pause.

Together, let us say, amen.

For therein lies a tasty curvy suckle thigh of powdered donut fluffy snappy snack shack turbo dog corn nuts, both regular and B.Q.

We haven’t featured a quality Quartasian Hottie in quite awhile, and as long time readers know, the quarter asian female is the heighth of all non-Semitic sucklethigh.

Betty in the middle? Yes. She is there. Lets move on. And by on, I mean back to Maggie. With only six bags of sunflower seeds and a sundial to guide us under cover of leaf.

# posted by douchebag1
7:14 am April, 13 Tony Ventresca said...

I’m not so quick to dismiss Betty-in-the-middle. She has a nice low-rent Olivia Wilde thing going on.

7:52 am April, 13 Mr. White said...

Nothing pulls the low-rent Olivia Wildes like a sharpie-style tattoo of Porky the Pig.
.
I don’t want to bust on your math, DB1, but I think Quartasian Maggie is significantly more than one quarter asian. Not that there’s a damn thing wrong with that, except for the fact that her Tiger Mother will come to your house when you’re in mid-coitus with Maggie and start slapping her because she’s not practicing her violin enough.

7:55 am April, 13 Hermit said...

The exit sign hovers over his shoulder, taunting, tempting. A siren song, calling him to join the peaceful serenity of bliss. Sleep, my child.
The machine clatters and vibrates as it continues to grind it’s human grist between it’s cruel and thoughtless gears. Spitting the corpses to the floor to be gathered up with funereal leaf rakes by hordes of grim, undocumented reapers, and tossed into the uncaring incinerator of eternity.

7:57 am April, 13 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I know we normally say how we would do some long drawn out scenario of things we would do to be near a Kleenex she used once to remove a stray booger…however just to stress how wonderful I think half Asian Maggie is; I would watch an entire hour of Glen Beck with out making a single smart ass comment just to be near the kleenex she once used to remove a stray booger form her tiny yet perfect nose.

8:05 am April, 13 Douchble Helix said...

See, that’s the thing with tattoos. The good Lord willing, at some point you will be a chronological adult. So, what seemed like a great idea at one point in your life…

8:08 am April, 13 Stop, Drop and Mock! said...

Meh, Skinny D isn’t that rage inducing, No stupid facial expressions, his visible tatts aren’t over the top, and he’s not in the middle of the two ladies “claiming them” by pointing at their jugs.
.
Never count out Betty in the middle, she might not catch your eye initially but her cross from Catholic School represents years of pent up sexual frustration. And I’m pretty sure she still has her uniform. Plus she’s got that whole Tier 2 rage going for her too if Maggie McBoobs here is her bestie.

8:13 am April, 13 Stop, Drop and Mock! said...

Actually his weird clown/pig tattoo is pretty stupid. I raise the bidding to Stage 1.

8:26 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh Maggie I think I got something to spray on you.
.
Faces www,youtube.com/watch?/LKO1037uK9E&feature=fvwrel

8:27 am April, 13 Mr. White said...

@hermit
Please make a movie using your post as a synopsis.

8:28 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^retard. Boobies.
.

8:53 am April, 13 Stop, Drop and Mock! said...

@Hermit, if you do as Mr. White suggests I would like to play the role of undocumented reaper number 3.

9:03 am April, 13 Mr. White said...

@hermit
I would like to play corpse #47. Or the exit sign. I’m versatile like that. Even if Rev. Chad did just call me retard boobies.

9:11 am April, 13 Brononymous said...

Man, DB1. You can’t even call a real hipster when you see one. That guy is pure guido, through and through.

10:25 am April, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

When I pass on into my next life I want to come back as one of Maggie’s buttons. I’d prefer to be one of top 3 and have access to her glorious mamm valley. The mamm valley calls to me as a place of joyous, bouncy excitement and when I tire from all the excitement I would have access to her most gloriously, comfortable mamm pillows to lay my tiny button head on. During my waking hours I would concentrate my efforts on keeping said mamms holstered but being the mischievous imp that I am I would also see to the occasional button popage so as to to let everyone else share in the wondrous glories that are Maggie’s mamm’s.

10:44 am April, 13 Fatness said...

Mamm Valley is indeed a glorious place but you have to always be on guard against the unexpected spooge flood…
.
I agree about Skinny D. Not a h-bag…pure Jerz guido.

10:50 am April, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Mr. White and Rev Chad
.
I thought “retard boobies” was the password to get into the playpen. Did someone change the password again? WTF? Keep a brother informed, son.

10:55 am April, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like Skinny-D hit the tattoo shop with his best Lite-Bright art and said “Make this a reality” to the person cackling behind the counter. Either that or he forgot ALF wasn’t a pig. Scary chick in the middle will have Single White Female stalker sex with you until she cuts something off with a knife. Yikes!

11:13 am April, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh Maggie. I see those. Don’t think you can hide them. But for your sense of modesty, verily you would be a contender for Golden Globes ’11. Of course that modest glow makes you even hotter. Ah the contradictions of the male lizard brain. I love being a guy.

11:46 am April, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Fatness
“unexpected spooge flood” That would not be good

12:39 pm April, 13 Wheezer said...

I would gladly tear into both hotts. Yes, yes I would.

1:08 pm April, 13 Hermit said...

@ Mr. White, SD&M,
.

I was thinking more of an Off-Broadway musical which would be called, Weekend at Bernie’s III, the Return of Retard Boobies, and you are both welcomed to audition.
.
(I will play myself in the role of Retard Boobies.)

1:43 pm April, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Maybe Betty is actually a lesbian and working up the nerve to put the moves on her friend, Maggie?
.
In any case, I long to be a button on Maggie’s blouse.

3:53 pm April, 13 Ted Brogan said...

Maggie is top notch. Partasian with no stage of bleeth at all. Oh yeah, and boobs.

7:23 pm April, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

*Standing at the door of the playpen* Well, you assholes coming in, or what?

8:15 pm April, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I always like it when DB1 goes overboard describing Hotts in edible terms. It does a man good to be hungry, yea thirsty, for a true Hott, especially a Quartasian. Sorta like that quart of milk the race drivers gulp down after the Indy500 win. So mammalian. So white like Maggie’s tighty sweater. So pristine compared to that dark stripey wifebeater jersey our tatted hipsterbag is wearing.

10:55 pm April, 13 Steve L. said...

Quartasian hotties come in B.Q.?
yeah i know that totally made no sense. but i had to ask.

10:58 pm April, 13 Steve L. said...

Maggie maintains near-perfect GPAs and goes out with douchebags.

let us never speak of this again and just gawk at her porcelain face and the Silk Road nestled between her porcelain boobs.

2:36 am April, 14 Guid is Good said...

Quartasian hotts with a nice rack. Thank you Allah.

6:15 am April, 14 Ted Brogan said...

I’m going to have to go with thirdasian…

8:40 am April, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Where did “Maggie the Quartasian” go?!

8:40 am April, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

11:00 am April, 14 Anonymous said...

This reminds me of the scene in Slapshot when the players were at that bar watching a soap opera in the afternoon. There was an especially obnoxious woman in the soap opera.

That prompted Morris Wanchuk to utter, “That cunt is no good.”

12:05 pm April, 14 Wheezer said...

What a fuccen bitch.

8:05 pm April, 14 Ted Brogan said...

Hey boss, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do. Or mocking at least!

8:48 am April, 15 jojo said...

where is the pic?

Leave a Reply

What is 9 + 13 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)