Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Skinny D and Maggie the Quartasian Hottie
Pic Deleted
Skinny D? Brooklyn b-boy hipsterpud. Give him a stage-2 violation ticket and send him on his way to his night shift at Denny’s.
Now Maggie the Quartasian Hottie on the left deserves a pause.
Together, let us say, amen.
For therein lies a tasty curvy suckle thigh of powdered donut fluffy snappy snack shack turbo dog corn nuts, both regular and B.Q.
We haven’t featured a quality Quartasian Hottie in quite awhile, and as long time readers know, the quarter asian female is the heighth of all non-Semitic sucklethigh.
Betty in the middle? Yes. She is there. Lets move on. And by on, I mean back to Maggie. With only six bags of sunflower seeds and a sundial to guide us under cover of leaf.
I’m not so quick to dismiss Betty-in-the-middle. She has a nice low-rent Olivia Wilde thing going on.
Nothing pulls the low-rent Olivia Wildes like a sharpie-style tattoo of Porky the Pig.
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I don’t want to bust on your math, DB1, but I think Quartasian Maggie is significantly more than one quarter asian. Not that there’s a damn thing wrong with that, except for the fact that her Tiger Mother will come to your house when you’re in mid-coitus with Maggie and start slapping her because she’s not practicing her violin enough.
The exit sign hovers over his shoulder, taunting, tempting. A siren song, calling him to join the peaceful serenity of bliss. Sleep, my child.
The machine clatters and vibrates as it continues to grind it’s human grist between it’s cruel and thoughtless gears. Spitting the corpses to the floor to be gathered up with funereal leaf rakes by hordes of grim, undocumented reapers, and tossed into the uncaring incinerator of eternity.
I know we normally say how we would do some long drawn out scenario of things we would do to be near a Kleenex she used once to remove a stray booger…however just to stress how wonderful I think half Asian Maggie is; I would watch an entire hour of Glen Beck with out making a single smart ass comment just to be near the kleenex she once used to remove a stray booger form her tiny yet perfect nose.
See, that’s the thing with tattoos. The good Lord willing, at some point you will be a chronological adult. So, what seemed like a great idea at one point in your life…
Meh, Skinny D isn’t that rage inducing, No stupid facial expressions, his visible tatts aren’t over the top, and he’s not in the middle of the two ladies “claiming them” by pointing at their jugs.
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Never count out Betty in the middle, she might not catch your eye initially but her cross from Catholic School represents years of pent up sexual frustration. And I’m pretty sure she still has her uniform. Plus she’s got that whole Tier 2 rage going for her too if Maggie McBoobs here is her bestie.
Actually his weird clown/pig tattoo is pretty stupid. I raise the bidding to Stage 1.
Oh Maggie I think I got something to spray on you.
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Faces www,youtube.com/watch?/LKO1037uK9E&feature=fvwrel
@hermit
Please make a movie using your post as a synopsis.
^retard. Boobies.
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@Hermit, if you do as Mr. White suggests I would like to play the role of undocumented reaper number 3.
@hermit
I would like to play corpse #47. Or the exit sign. I’m versatile like that. Even if Rev. Chad did just call me retard boobies.
Man, DB1. You can’t even call a real hipster when you see one. That guy is pure guido, through and through.
When I pass on into my next life I want to come back as one of Maggie’s buttons. I’d prefer to be one of top 3 and have access to her glorious mamm valley. The mamm valley calls to me as a place of joyous, bouncy excitement and when I tire from all the excitement I would have access to her most gloriously, comfortable mamm pillows to lay my tiny button head on. During my waking hours I would concentrate my efforts on keeping said mamms holstered but being the mischievous imp that I am I would also see to the occasional button popage so as to to let everyone else share in the wondrous glories that are Maggie’s mamm’s.
Mamm Valley is indeed a glorious place but you have to always be on guard against the unexpected spooge flood…
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I agree about Skinny D. Not a h-bag…pure Jerz guido.
@ Mr. White and Rev Chad
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I thought “retard boobies” was the password to get into the playpen. Did someone change the password again? WTF? Keep a brother informed, son.
Looks like Skinny-D hit the tattoo shop with his best Lite-Bright art and said “Make this a reality” to the person cackling behind the counter. Either that or he forgot ALF wasn’t a pig. Scary chick in the middle will have Single White Female stalker sex with you until she cuts something off with a knife. Yikes!
Oh Maggie. I see those. Don’t think you can hide them. But for your sense of modesty, verily you would be a contender for Golden Globes ’11. Of course that modest glow makes you even hotter. Ah the contradictions of the male lizard brain. I love being a guy.
@Fatness
“unexpected spooge flood” That would not be good
I would gladly tear into both hotts. Yes, yes I would.
@ Mr. White, SD&M,
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I was thinking more of an Off-Broadway musical which would be called, Weekend at Bernie’s III, the Return of Retard Boobies, and you are both welcomed to audition.
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(I will play myself in the role of Retard Boobies.)
Maybe Betty is actually a lesbian and working up the nerve to put the moves on her friend, Maggie?
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In any case, I long to be a button on Maggie’s blouse.
Maggie is top notch. Partasian with no stage of bleeth at all. Oh yeah, and boobs.
*Standing at the door of the playpen* Well, you assholes coming in, or what?
I always like it when DB1 goes overboard describing Hotts in edible terms. It does a man good to be hungry, yea thirsty, for a true Hott, especially a Quartasian. Sorta like that quart of milk the race drivers gulp down after the Indy500 win. So mammalian. So white like Maggie’s tighty sweater. So pristine compared to that dark stripey wifebeater jersey our tatted hipsterbag is wearing.
Quartasian hotties come in B.Q.?
yeah i know that totally made no sense. but i had to ask.
Maggie maintains near-perfect GPAs and goes out with douchebags.
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let us never speak of this again and just gawk at her porcelain face and the Silk Road nestled between her porcelain boobs.
Quartasian hotts with a nice rack. Thank you Allah.
I’m going to have to go with thirdasian…
Where did “Maggie the Quartasian” go?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
This reminds me of the scene in Slapshot when the players were at that bar watching a soap opera in the afternoon. There was an especially obnoxious woman in the soap opera.
That prompted Morris Wanchuk to utter, “That cunt is no good.”
What a fuccen bitch.
Hey boss, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do. Or mocking at least!
where is the pic?