Wednesday, May 11, 2011

American Lick

Now we know what our Founding Fathers fought for.

The freedom to mock douchewank with golden unearned dog tags in presence of Kimmy Swimmer Hott.

# posted by douchebag1
7:36 am May, 11 Deltus said...

Sometimes, the choadwank is facepunchworthy. Sometimes, the taintstain is *extremely* facepunchworthy.
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And then there’s bags whose very existence sends you into such a violence-lusting rage, you want to do things to them that would make Charles Manson recoil in horror, and you think you should see a therapist about it.

7:44 am May, 11 Crottenham said...

I see a future cast member of Jersey Shores…he’ll make millions and then fade away into anonymity having blown it all on coke, strippers and fast cars…..and more tats of course!

7:47 am May, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He had to show his underwear and lick his delicious Good Humour like a fag. In the presence of All-American tight body swimmer Kimmy. What a TOOL? Calvin Klein? Mark Wahlberg, OG Douchenozzle called and he wants his early 90’s back you dick gobbler.
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A career built on this: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xksvz_marky-mark-good-vibrations_music I hate Marky Mark.
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7:48 am May, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Kimmy looks like she’d be a prime candidate to be on the receiving end of the “Angry Pirate Maneuver.” All she needs is to wear the douchewanks mandanna.
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Is Orange this season’s color of choice for douches and their bleeths?

8:45 am May, 11 creature said...

ever wonder why it is nearly irristable to plow traffic cones?
this living roadkill has the mud flap bruise to prove it

9:00 am May, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Damn you Creature there goes my mudflap burn. 10 bucks say he has Yosemite Sam tattooed on his lower back though.
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Anyways, this douche clearly would rather be with another douche. The signs are all there, suggestive lollipop lick (remember to cup the lollipop balls), panty reveal and off the shoulder jumpsuit. Why are you wasting yours and young Yasmine’s time douche? Take your young “Charlie Sheen from Men at Work” self and get yourself a right proper bromance. Better yet, make it a brorgy.

9:06 am May, 11 dbBen said...

Presented without commentary:

9:07 am May, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

As a guy I pretty much don’t care for having my picture taken. To accidentally have my picture taken suggestively licking a Bomb Pop® would cause me to hunt down the photographer and all known copies of said picture. To actually pose for a picture like this, even in the presence of a hott can only mean one thing. Dude, you’re a fag.*
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• Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just sayin’ Son.

9:15 am May, 11 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Kimmy Hott can perform CPR on my little toosie roll.

9:26 am May, 11 soy bomb said...

Sometimes the ‘bags are so absurd they mock themselves. This is such a ‘bag.

9:56 am May, 11 Deltus said...

He’s not completely useless, though. His carcass could be ground up, filtered for contaminants, and fed to needy dogs.

9:58 am May, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Construction Zone Warning: Hit a worker – 14 years jail – $10,000 fine. In this case, it would be worth it.

10:14 am May, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Deltus
.
No dog would every be that needy as to be fed such disgusting ground up douche. Actually that’s animal cruelty and I have to call you on that one. Also, NEVER tell a
therapist what you’d like to do to these types of assholes. They tend to call the cops. FACT. Don’t ask how I know. And don’t ask Rev Chad either.
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It has been proven that the color orange produces immediate rage in most people. Medical FACT.

10:32 am May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Rev. Chad 7:47
Good god, man, get out of my head. I was just having a similar conversation with someone about that. Apparently Marky made some line in some movie about somebody making really bad music, and it was supposed to be all funny and ironic. No, it wasn’t at all, I said, and spat, “He’s not a musician, he’s a professional torso!” And i can’t take him seriously in any movie, ever, ’cause he’s Marky Mark. Fuck it, I’m gonna drink Maple syrup to calm me down. Between thoughts of Marky Mark getting nominated for Oscars, and the dude in this photo, I’m ready to stab someone in the neck with a pair of scissors.

11:17 am May, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Medusa
.
That video is really funny if you’re stoned and realize the crap that has come to us since the Cold War ended. It was supposed to be all TeleTubbies and Blizzards forever, Instead it has been a decline of the West both culturally, economically, philosophically, politically, musically, and gastronomically? The weed keeps getting better though. Son.

11:17 am May, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^both. HAHA.

11:46 am May, 11 creature said...

@the rev & mo
mark wahlberg is a solid cat

2:54 pm May, 11 WJC42 said...

Kimmy ain’t that attractive. Lick deserves her.

Tome to cruise the Drag for wookers (wookie hookers).

2:55 pm May, 11 WJC42 said...

Awww damn, I meant it was TIME to cruise for wookers.

4:54 pm May, 11 mr.reeve said...

Fucking Public Workbags. I wonder how much time he spends holding the shovel and pretending to work? Or maybe he spends his time licking sticks with berries on the side of the road.
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.
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SON

7:48 pm May, 11 Steve L. said...

@ Mr. Reeve 4:54 PM,
he needs a break from holding the stop /slow sign all day.
.
SON.

11:24 pm May, 11 Kamagra said...

He is not useless, though. His carcass could be ground up, filtered for contaminants, and fed to needy canines.

4:11 am May, 12 Collaz B. Popped said...

He’s not useless,,,he is an ideal Middle – Eastern “Stoning” candidate.

Yosemite Sam ink,,,hehe…Dreuche. Either that or some meaningless “flash” like rolling dice on his shoulder etc.

Bomb Pop BlowJob face,,,,nice pose you poofter.

6:05 am May, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hott: too much clothing.
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Douche: not nearly enough. I suggest a burka.

6:36 am May, 12 Mr. Biggs said...

Unless these two are taking a break from ROTC paramedic fireman training, chalk ’em up for the weekly.

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