Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Asian Orange and America’s Imperialist Legacy

The effects of America’s use of Asian Orange in the 90s and 00s continues to be felt around the world.

It is what Frantz Fanon describes as “Post-colonialist reconstruction of the alterity of orangeness through the prism of the self.”

Sometimes our spray of global cultural spew can be seen in strange mutant hybrids, like we see here, in the form of Asbestos Flaygon.

# posted by douchebag1
2:10 pm May, 10 jonezy said...

Too Soon?!
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What is “Fukushima Orange”, Alex?

2:13 pm May, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Cutie to the back left is admiring his long prehensile tail

2:18 pm May, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I’d like to ‘Tuts my barreh’ with any of these chicks.
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And by ‘Tuts my barreh’ I mean pulling down the top on the intense Kelly Ripa look alike to show her how unflattering that dress is on a nubile lithe thing like that. I sense a serious badonkadonk under all that ruffly, frilly shit. And shit, son

2:28 pm May, 10 Banana Hammock said...

Fookame Hott…

2:42 pm May, 10 Geoffrey said...

mandarin orange

3:03 pm May, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

General Tsao parties comfortably with his western whores before launching the Tit Offensive using his secrete police the MSG (Mutant Smegma Gorillas) to start Phase 1 with the spreading of the Asian Orange.**
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** Aftereffects include the need to an hour later, the desire for small lemon-flavored cookies with tiny bits of paper in them, and spiced tea.

3:05 pm May, 10 Wedgie said...

The one in the middle swallows. So does the chick.
Viva naranja guey.

3:41 pm May, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

No. Tuts My Barreh.

3:45 pm May, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Which fuccen one is the Kelli Ripa? I see the former Hooter’s girl from Big Daddy, Christina Applegate, and the Hooter’s girl at the end of Big Daddy. What the fuccen hell is going on, is Dark Sock trying to fuccin freak me out or what? And the asian butterscotch is a gay as George Takei. I need a drink, and a smoke, and a drink.

3:47 pm May, 10 dbBen said...

The cognitive dissonance manifest in different forms by the girls is priceless. They all know they are having their picture taken, but they don’t know why they are having their picture taken.

4:00 pm May, 10 Deltus said...

Christina Applegate hott has me tingly in my naughty places.

4:05 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

He seems faker than far right “blondie’s” hair. Dude, you’re already darker than all three of these ladies naturally. What is the intrinsic need to go orange on top of that. Orange + tan= Orangetan, which makes you look and sound like a monkey. Do the math Douche Lee!

4:32 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

Imperialism rules, baby! Without it we’d all be huddled in humid caves somewhere in Southern Europe drinking piss out of the bottom of a rubber boot and shitting teeth and grass clippings into salad bowls. The Indians ran rampant over the buffalo and elk herds, sending sharpened limestone and laser-guided implements into their helpless flanks.
When The Machine breathes freely, clear of obstructive catalysts, igniting grass fires and warehouse accidents, mercy is eradicated. It’s ferocity is felt deep within the loins of young girls, promoting sensual arousal, and causing old men to piss down the inseams of their football cleats.
Our ancient leaders, Nero, Washington, Nixon, Clinton and Dick Van Dyke will be lined up before the Machine’s hysterical firing squads, they’ll beg for mercy, but mercy won’t come, only tonsillectomies and skull fractures.
The dreadful pall of agent orange and agent 99 will hang over the low valleys, poisonous, noxious exhaust fumes.
Tonsillectomies and skull fractures, bodies stacked like cordwood .

4:33 pm May, 10 Wedgie said...

Hey Deltus
Make sure she doesn’t rest that pointy chin on your tummy while she’s giving you a hummer. It might disembowel you, seppuku-style.

4:35 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

^This can all be verified and corroborated in the November 1984 issue of Better Homes and Gardens.

4:37 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

I’m sure Wedgie’s post can be verified as well, but I meant my last dispatch, (4:32 pm PDT)

4:45 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Hermit, does The Machine disembowel as well? I feel like it should have that capability. And is The Machine also responsible for that coming of age tale “Are You There God?, Its Me Margaret.”? You mentioned its ferociousness in young girls loinage so I just kinda put one and one together…which would make Judy Blume our Machine operator! I knew Ramona Quimby was a metaphor for world domination, well I didn’t before, but I do now.

4:46 pm May, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey Hermit!!!! You kind of look like the guy on the mountain in the “Stairway To Heaven” shot. You just need dose of Maria Shriver to make you look like a wise old man. What?

4:47 pm May, 10 Geoffrey said...

4:48 pm May, 10 Geoffrey said...

hmm

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/9505/asianorange2.jpg

5:11 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

@ Nancy, The Machine is perfectly capable of disembowelment. especially on little girls who ask too many questions.
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@Reverend, Yeah, I remember that dude. He was carrying a faggot on his back.
BTW you look like Osama’s old lady, and you know what happened to her.

5:13 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

^Hey guys, I’m really sorry for being so gruff. I’m just not feeling well today.
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I had my teeth cleaned and when my dentist told me I should floss more, and I told her to go fuck herself.

5:18 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

^ stricken that last “and” from the record, and pass me another blunt.
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On a positive note, Agent 99 was pretty hot.

5:24 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

This guy? I don’t see the resemblence.

5:28 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

OK, now

this is one handsome dude.

5:34 pm May, 10 Hermit said...

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it, does it make a sound?
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If a drunken idiot posts a bunch of shit on a blog, and no one reads it, is he talking to himself?

5:43 pm May, 10 Mr. White said...

I would go upriver in a small patrol boat with a young Laurence Fishburne, execute some poor peasants, rescue some puppies, all while never getting off the boat, man, and finally assassinate Asian Orange with a machete, just for a chance to hang off the skids of the helicopter that’s carrying Chesty Vesty Girl on the left.

5:43 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Hermit 5:11p through 5:34p, I see. And you should floss more.

5:54 pm May, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Hermit’s last several posts are correct. But he should not carry a faggot on his back or anywhere else.His dentist should fuck off and what the fuck were you doing with a female dentist in your mouth,

6:46 pm May, 10 Steve L. said...

never tuts the barreh of an asbestos flaygon.

i shall punch myself in the face now.

7:10 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Oh Steve L. I’m sure there is a Tawainese MILF out there who would be happy to do that for you.

8:48 pm May, 10 creature said...

I should mine the mother lode of these milfs caverns with mein shaft!
…all that & Hermit scares me sometimes!

1:48 am May, 11 Collaz B. Popped said...

I think the Mandarin/Cantonese/Kanji writing on his shirt is classic.

10:36 am May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Gwen Stefani not-hott on the right of Asian Orange. That woman fills me with such rage it makes my eye twitch. A barbed-wire cage match between her and Marky Mark would please me greatly.

11:27 pm May, 11 Kamagra said...

They all know they are having their picture taken, but they dont know why they are having their picture taken.

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