Saturday, May 21, 2011

Say Hello To My Little Fran

Yeah, yeah; I know. The Boss ran this pic already for a Saturday “Comment o’ the Week”.  Well, I shall not presume to put myself in a position to select the best of last week from my peers (and by “peers” I mean those with whom I pee), so I figured this would be a good chance to circle back and hose some mock upon the photo that accompanied DB1’s award, since the choad in the pic was largely ignored as we heaped accolades upon the best of that week’s mock.

Nope; this guy, whom I tag as Tony UnTanna, ain’t gettin’ off with his pale hide intact. Not that easily.

Because I pine for Fran.

All Tony UnTanna has in this world (besides SPF 90) is his balls and his word.   And he don’t shave them for no one.   But she still does not want to see his “Little Friend”.

And, with apologies to Levon Helms, I would gladly take a Choad off Franny, and put a load right on her.

# posted by Bagnonymous
11:20 am May, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Hey Fran! I told you not to step in the backyard until I did a poop patrol

11:43 am May, 21 creature said...

tony looks like he is about to pass his spleen out his poo duct

11:46 am May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white he lights crosses instead of fireworks.

11:46 am May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white he confuses chameleons.

11:49 am May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white he believes Glenn Beck.

11:49 am May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white he gets tickets every spring to the masters.

11:50 am May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white he writes in obtuse. Son. What? No more sun for me.

11:54 am May, 21 Hermit said...

Please remember that we share the Earth with others. The giant panda is in trouble and needs your help. The government of China is doing their level best to provide shelter, bamboo shoots and additional funding for our gentle cousins, but they need our help and support. As we speak, many pandas go without basic needs, hundreds are without subsidized housing.
.
You may ask, “But what can I do to help?” Well, the answer is simple. Please go out of your way to buy only those products produced and manufactured in China. Many of the proceeds go to help these gentle creatures and other endangered reptiles. I know sometimes it’s difficult to find obscure Chinese-produced products, but don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?
.
Please do this today.
.
Do it for the pandas

11:57 am May, 21 Hermit said...

Did someone say Tony Joe White?

12:01 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

“A wretched, spitful straight razor-totin’ woman.”

12:01 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

spitful?

12:04 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Never mind, “Tony SO White.”

12:22 pm May, 21 creature said...

thanks for the ‘polk salad’ hermit

12:25 pm May, 21 Vin Douchal said...

From my e-mail this morning. A sweet offer! Where’s Nigeria?
.
We need your service
From: Mary Nwofor
.
Good Day,

We are one of the major Entertainment Consultation Service Company in the entertainment industry today here in Nigeria.

Presently located in Abuja, our client a foreign based hospitality company affiliated to Bolingo Hotels and Towers, are about celebrating their TEN YEARS (A DECADE) of operating successfully here in Nigeria later in year.

The services of foreign based entertainers (Musicians in particular) is highly needed due to the caliber of expected guests outside the shores of Nigeria.

We will need your services or rather need you to be part of this celebration due to popular demand and acceptability and your huge experience in the industry.

If you agree to be part of the show, kindly get back to us with the following information’s.

Your Full Names:
Contact Address:

Years of Experience:

Group Name (IF any):

Shows Attended:-

A. In your Country

B. Outside your Country

Age:
Sex:
Telephone Numbers:

A. Home

B. Office

C. Fax

Please state categorically your terms / conditions of operation, number of persons / musicians in your group, mode of payment.

REPLY.

GOD BLESS YOU.

Thanks,

Mary Nwofor.

12:33 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white his lawn is made of transplanted Reagan rectal polyps, and it bleeds out every time he mows into a giant sun-baked scab.

12:34 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white his alphabetized CD rack has Belinda Carlisle categorized as “Heavy Metal”.

12:34 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white Kenny G fucks to HIM.

12:35 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white his gardeners are Republicans.

12:35 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white his poop is taupe.

12:35 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white if he drinks espresso he gets a tan.

12:36 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

He’s so white Baron Von Goolo gave him a blood donation.

12:44 pm May, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

That quite a large urine sample Fran is carrying there

12:45 pm May, 21 creature said...

he’s so white Ralph Reed shines his shoes

12:46 pm May, 21 creature said...

he’s so white his negative sings “Mammy!”

12:46 pm May, 21 soy bomb said...

Some people say Rapture, and other people say Rapeture. Where do you stand?

12:49 pm May, 21 creature said...

he’s so white they put tarps over him in movie theaters

12:50 pm May, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

He’s so white he makes the Osmond Brothers look like Parliment.

12:51 pm May, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

He’s so white he makes the NBA of 1950 look like the NBA of 2011.

12:53 pm May, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

He’s so white he makes a lacrosse game look like a Soul Train Line Dance.
.

12:55 pm May, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

BTW, you owe it to yourself to at least fast forward to the 1:09 point and catching the re-run looking dude’s dance.

1:07 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

tony is so white his penis is inverted

1:21 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

Tony is so white, tiger woods fucked him

1:28 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he doesn’t let Arizonans into his yard without proof of citizenship.

1:29 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he started the Milk Party

1:29 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he got beaten up in Alabama for walking around with a Hershey Bar

1:30 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white Cougars bite him during sex to whiten their teeth.

1:31 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white his tanning lotion is Clorox™.

1:32 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he finishes every sentence with “Moon”. .
Sun.

1:32 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

tony is so white, he was the stunt double for “powder”

1:33 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he has to wear a welder’s mask when he brushes his teeth.
.
.
.
Wait…

1:33 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white you can see pepper in his stomach.

1:35 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white, he has an external uncircumcised pancreas.

1:36 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white he has tiny rivers of blood streaming out of his ears and nipples.

1:36 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

tony is so white his asshole is used as a prism

1:37 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white he remains standing after a belated orgasm.(and the National Anthem.)

1:39 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white he scrubs bird poop off his kneecaps after playing chess with Johnny Mathis.

1:42 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white he thinks soul food is shoe leather and grahm crackers.

1:47 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white his bathrobe has a hood.(And so does his penis and his gas range.)

1:49 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

Tony is so white, those aren’t dog tags….its a rare case of squamous cell carcinoma

1:51 pm May, 21 Wedgie said...

Nice moontan, Lestat.

1:52 pm May, 21 Mr. Belvadouche said...

Tony is so white, he still won’t cross the mason dixon line

1:55 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

I’ve noticed that DarkSock lists boobies under “categories” 78% of the time, compared with DB1’s 37.4%.
.
.
.
Not sure what that indicates, bit it should be monitored it closely.

1:57 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

scratch “it” from the record

1:57 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

and replace “bit” with “but”

1:58 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Scratch the whole thing from the record, I’m sorry I brought it up.

1:59 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Fuck wordpress and Jack Daniels.

2:18 pm May, 21 Hermit said...

Tony is so white, that his anal hair and ear wax have the properties of extra-virgin lamb’s wool.(and olive oil)

2:28 pm May, 21 creature said...

Tony is so white Banksy tagged his ass while he was peeing
Banksy not Tony

3:25 pm May, 21 Wedgie said...

Hey Vin:
Nigeria is on the Wire Fraud Coast of Africa.
Good Luck to you sir.

4:45 pm May, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tony is so white I forgot about this thread while golfing. Funny shit. Son

4:56 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he has to wipe with tar paper to make sure he’s clean.

4:57 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he got thrown out of a Blue Man Group show for making them pastel.

4:58 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white Fran’s vag looks like a bleached pug’s face.
.
What?

4:58 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he chews chili but swallows chowder.

4:59 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white Fran’s teeth and anus are bleached naturally.

5:00 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Tony is so white he looks normal when his bladder’s full.

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