Friday, May 6, 2011
Friday Haiku
Straight to video,
Ego Production for Dave,
“Lord of the Cokk Rings.”
Correct thought Left Hott!
You plunge that Klingon Dagger!
Right into his groin!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I, Brodo Baggins,
Do solemnly swear this sword
Has a small penis
— saulgoode42
To get hotts like this
I must dress like this swordscrote
Find bad jeans post haste
— Hong Kong Douchey
brunette on the left
mayan eye of coitus gives
jeans don’t measure up
— Crazed Aborigine
His head not yet grown
All the way back to full size
Will Smith just shot him
— Wedgie
Sir Fapsalot says,
“Make this quick, bitches. My mom
picks me up at two.”
— Cool Hand Douche
That dude’s head looks like it’s either been pasted on, or shrunken.
Correct thought Left Hott!
You plunge that Klingon Dagger!
Right into his groin!
David Duchovny
Begins his sex addiction
With this lasting view.
I have an urge to
fondle my bicycle chain.
So where’d that come from?
I, Brodo Baggins,
Do solemnly swear this sword
Has a small penis
Midieval denim
So shirtless choads have plagued us
Longer than I thought
Whats up with Haiku?
One more ‘alternate world’ trip?
Set filters, DB1!!
Hiding between babes
Doesn’t fool us you dickwad
We know you like boys
His smirk tells it all
“I’m gay, but I need money”
Off to work he goes
Eastern Europeen
Thinks a big sword makes up for
His little gerkin
His head not yet grown
All the way back to full size
Will Smith just shot him
There’s an old adage:
Bigger the sword/Smaller the Cokk
His may need tweezers.
(Arrrggghh – 5-8-5!)
To get hotts like this
I must dress like this swordscrote
Find bad jeans post haste
brunette on the left
mayan eye of coitus gives
jeans don’t measure up
Naught screams “warrior”
Like cock-holding a big sword
And posed shirtlessness
Check out my rad knife
Couldn’t afford that red Porsche
Compensating? Nooo…
My five year old peek’d
Asked me why Dave has no shirt
Time for douchebag talk
Dave calls press conference
He hunted bin Laden , too
Wants twenty-five mill
Milady crotchrot,
by the power of small skull,
accept this herpes.
stone washed denim pants
out of place at royal court
Gondor has no king
Unarmed blondie hott
Looks concerned with the sword play
Could put an eye out
Dave brags of swordfights:
“Where did thou slay the dragon?”
“Rest stop glory hole.”
My best pair of jeans
sunday in the park with whores
Wants guy for swordplay
Sir Fapsalot says,
“Make this quick, bitches. My mom
picks me up at two.”
Remake of Conan,
Will take place in New Jersey,
Somewhere Ah-nuld sobs
Methinks the sword is
Overcompensating for
Something in the jeans
Medieval hotts know,
King Arthur wouldn’t wear jeans,
Or grip swords that way
Good one Wedgie! – the Will Smith…
Oh Sir Douche A Lot,
simpleton of orange skin
With a Chess King belt
Disproportionate
Action figure wields plastic,
Hotts think its heavy.
Brunette’s Shiny Blade
Is both penis and vagine
Oddly, so is he
Pic would be cooler
If shot by Matterhorn ride
Not “Its a Small World”
White Kevin Garnett
Has two very tiny heads
And he is a foot shorter.
I’ve seen this before.
I call Photoshop, but still
all douche signs are there.
Hey, wait a minute…
I thought that stone washed blue jeans
Died in the Iron Age…
tiny shrinking head
prepares him well for his new
role in beetlejuice
“This is not my head.
Photoshop nerd tried to be
funny, but he failed.”
If Black Dynamite
were in this picture, it would
look slightly less dumb.
His pecs seem to form
an optical illusion —
two foreheads touching
Late to the party,
I can’t write haikus early
like all you folks do.
The models for pulp
fiction covers haven’t come
far since Fabio.
my rebar can break
that cheap aluminum sword
in one strike. SON. yeah.