Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday Haiku

Dialing in the sounds,
Jen’s pale human boombox has
Rectal subwoofer.

Ahab’s grandaughter,
Pinches nipple of White Whale,
Moby’s Dick gets hard.

– Hermit

We have brotha-bags
Hipster-bags, All kinds of bags
Is this Farmer-bag?

– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifeit

Chazz Bono’s pool time
Causes others to throw up
“Pool Closed- Ten Minutes”

– Vin Douchal

Albino walrus,
Lets loose with a mighty roar,
Where is my seal club?

– Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders

Check out this jukebox
you twist his nipple to play
but it’s all Great White.

– Medusa Oblongata


# posted by Bagnonymous
7:02 am May, 27 Hermit said...

Ahab’s grandaughter,
Pinches nipple of White Whale,
Moby’s Dick gets hard.

7:02 am May, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Carl shrieks, we all shriek
At that lilly white pudding.
My God! Get a shirt!

7:04 am May, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

A titty twister
For a deserving white turd
Some days, Justice rocks

7:07 am May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Man boobs at douche pool
Preparing his doughy frame
For “Before” photo

7:07 am May, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

We have brotha-bags
Hipster-bags, All kinds of bags
Is this Farmer-bag?

7:08 am May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Back in early times
This was called “Purple Nurple”
Now it’s just plain gross

7:10 am May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Does this breast lactate?
Asks Jenny, giving a tweak
Chazz says, “Hey Buzz off!”

7:14 am May, 27 saulgoode42 said...

Mary makes cookies
By pinching a loaf off this
Roll of cookie dough

7:14 am May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Chazz Bono’s pool time
Causes others to throw up
“Pool Closed- Ten Minutes”

7:18 am May, 27 saulgoode42 said...

Remove boy’s nipple
Place nipple inside boy’s mouth
Tokens come out butt

7:19 am May, 27 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Albino walrus,
Lets loose with a mighty roar,
Where is my seal club?

7:19 am May, 27 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Trucker Convention
Tit twist causes premature
Ejaculation.

7:21 am May, 27 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Whitebread Billy Bob,
Looks like Pillsbury Doughboy,
Nipple Pinchy FAIL!

7:25 am May, 27 Wedgie said...

Happily retired
The Michelin Man still recalls
His Ghostbusters fame

7:26 am May, 27 Mandouchian Candidate said...

White Bread Larry John,
Greek Princess Sees Feta Cheesa
Tune in Tokyo.

7:27 am May, 27 Wedgie said...

Though now retired
The Michelin Man recalls
His Ghostbusters fame

Sorry, I just learned how to count this week.

7:29 am May, 27 Banana Hammock said...

Elmer’s Pasty white silhouette
Jen’s sideboob about to get wet
Nipple ready to lactate

7:33 am May, 27 Greg said...

Kelly’s brave attempt,
To draw milk from man bosom,
An udder failure.

7:35 am May, 27 ehcuodouche said...

Brightness is blinding
Does this knob turn it down, no
That is the volume

7:42 am May, 27 DarkSock said...

Uber-cruel nip twist
Drains the torso of all blood;
Hemorrhage through weenus

7:43 am May, 27 DarkSock said...

Dialing in Moscow?
No reception here, Sweetie…
Dialing in Douche-Cow.

7:45 am May, 27 Ol' Dirty Douche said...

Young Pavarotti,
Hits high note when Jen tweaks moobs.
Glass breaks, Vegas weeps.

7:46 am May, 27 jonezy said...

Two Tone Tommy T
Tempts Teresa’s Tulips.
Tight Titty touches!

7:51 am May, 27 Bag Margera said...

I can’t hate this guy.
At least he is getting tanned
the natural way.
.
Fuck does he need it.
Chick covering his nipples
makes him blend with clouds.

7:53 am May, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

This thread shoulda been closed right after the first post. Hermit FTGloriousW.
.
Check out this jukebox
you twist his nipple to play
but it’s all Great White.

7:55 am May, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

We all need a break
the Sta-Puft marshmallow man
prefers Las Vegas

8:03 am May, 27 DarkSock said...

‘Sock reviews these posts,
Decides who goes on front page;
Hey! All DarkSock posts!

8:04 am May, 27 DarkSock said...

Punish your gay friend
When he starts criticizing
Your designer shades

8:06 am May, 27 DarkSock said...

Cindi’s boyfriend calls;
Time to hit the mute button
On gay friend, mid-rant.

8:10 am May, 27 Ol' Dirty Douche said...

The Twisted Sister
looks away with pouty lips
as Vern catches buffet grape.

8:13 am May, 27 Anonymous said...

The pale skinned douchebag
Screams in bitter agony,
Forgot his sunblock.

8:17 am May, 27 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Fleshy white pillow
Pinch and good luck comes to you.
Pale Genie Climax

8:17 am May, 27 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Jen has heard stories
about twisting albinos
nipples bring no luck

8:19 am May, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Nanook of the North
Gets a Hip Vegas Welcome
Takes home souvenir

8:31 am May, 27 mr.reeve said...

Casper the friendly notta douche
Eats buffet and drinks White Russians
Vegas is a little less douchey

8:33 am May, 27 mr.reeve said...

Kimmy pinches Casper’s nipps
“Tune in Tokyo” does not respond
Is it time to drink yet?

8:42 am May, 27 Der Haiku Fürher said...

Due to Haiku fail,
Your skin will make nice lamp shades,
Heed this warning Reeve,

8:43 am May, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

I second Hermit FTW … but,

Whale huntress Peggy
Dials in the right frequency
so white whale will sing.

Who am I kidding. I’m just tweaking Hermit.

8:47 am May, 27 mr.reeve said...

I will not heed
Your warning Der Haiku Knob
This has no HCwDB

8:51 am May, 27 Sammy Douchai said...

Cracker Ass Cracka
Loves the tanned hot pinching
Restraining order imminent

8:54 am May, 27 Der Haiku Fürher said...

With every lame post,
Your digging your hole deeper.
NO SOUP FOR YOU, REEVE!

10:25 am May, 27 mr.reeve said...

Der Haiku Knob thinks
His know it all ways help
“REEVE” does not care

11:52 am May, 27 tall guy said...

Squeezing the nipple
Of a white liberal
Makes Jen feel kinda strange
She knows it looks uncool
But when White liberal falls backwards into the pool
Well have our reason for climate change.

11:53 am May, 27 tall guy said...

‘We have a reason for climate change’

11:54 am May, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

Baghunters circle
In Pavlovian response.
But where’s the douchebag?

12:12 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

^Several are huddled
At the far end of the pool;
Are you blind, Baron?

1:28 pm May, 27 Collaz B. Popped said...

The Michelin Man,
Whom I always believed fake,
Frightens me today.

2:50 pm May, 27 schlicht bindenburger said...

tokyo ….tokyo, come in tokyo!

3:22 pm May, 27 Michael Carabini said...

Any woman with a decent sized pair of fun bags knows that you cant resist taking a look..Luckily for you I have a solution.

7:34 pm May, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

I so rarely am awake for Haiku Fridays. How delightful to make the front page! Domo Arigato, DarkSock.

2:20 pm May, 28 creature said...

oh god oh god oh
I believe that I have just
jizzed in my pants

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