Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

As I meditate and ruminate on the paid to pose party girl and the undies wearing “not as interesting as they think they are” collegiate uberschlort, I sense myself being called away.

On a mission.

A monastic retreat.

A journey to the hills of Uttar Pradesh to reconnect with my sherpa and my teacher on the art of ‘bag mock and hottie lust.

Penance for sins against my meditative and monastic hottie/douchey journey.

I have sinned. For I have coveted the Bleeth.

And have not mocked douchebags with proper linguistic assault.

What will I discover on this outer journey of inward soul? New ways of tracking Grieco Viral spread. New adjectives to describe The Holy Cleavite.

Enlightenment will come. Oh yes, it will come.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Hey, no problem. Just a couple of clean American kids experimenting with sex.”

The real reason Cobain killed himself.

Nu Thang. Jesus’ De-light.

Eagle eyed reader Jim Beam looks out of his car’s windshield during rush hour one morning and discovers he’s driving behind a Bro Wagon.

Failblog tags A Dude with a Louis Vuitton tatt. The next step in douche-wear.

Reader Concerned Mother sends in pics of her seven year old daughter’s troubling douchebag dolls. And even more douchebag dolls. This is a disturbing trend that warrants monitoring.

From The Onion Sports Network: UFC Fighter Has Idea for a T-Shirt With a Bunch of Shit On It.

My hometown, Boston, prepares for the annual Slut Walk. Power to the people. And boobies.

What more must we do to complete another successful week of Mock? Oh, that’s right. Your serving of pear. Enjoy:

Wedgie Pear.

Unfortunately not named after our comments thread and Hall of Mock regular, Wedgie. Or is it?

Go forth and celebrate the Pear. For it is chomp. And the weekend has begunst.

# posted by douchebag1
12:50 pm May, 13 Anonymous said...

Tracy Turnblad, two gay bags and a highly posable Real Doll.

Nothing to see here. Please return to your normal activities.

12:53 pm May, 13 Anonymous said...

But Wedgie Pear is a sight to behold. And by behold I mean holding my genitals while applying a rubbing back and forth motion.

12:53 pm May, 13 Wheezer said...

Methinks Wedgie will accept the honor, Boss.
.
No, meknows.

1:14 pm May, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Easy pickin’s on that slut walk talking to chicks from Sommerville.
.

1:18 pm May, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of BOOBIE’s : Sports by Brooks girls all have enormous racks of spongie chest mounds
.
If you like that sort of thing

1:18 pm May, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Goos work today Boss, between Zebra Bikini Ashley’s glorious bags and Wedgie Pear it makes for a glorious day.
.
Hmmmm!!!! Wedgie Pear
.
More power to the girls of Beantown especially those naughty BU undergrads. Speaking of Beantown I could go for a Santarpios’s Pizza right about now oh and go B’s.
.

1:23 pm May, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin
West Somerville or East?

1:30 pm May, 13 Jim Beam said...

WOOHOO! My first submission was included in HCWDB! I spotted the BROWAGN and I barely stopped laughing enough to take the picture 🙂

1:32 pm May, 13 Anonymous said...

Best. Pear. Ever.

1:37 pm May, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Jim Beam
Good work Son!!!!, your brothers Balance & Laser would be proud

1:40 pm May, 13 creature said...

them are some homely broads….all 4

1:41 pm May, 13 FoghornLeghorn said...

Everybody in that lead picture should put their clothes back on. And Wedgie Pear should keep hers off.

1:43 pm May, 13 Jim Beam said...

@Et tu Balance & Laser???

Oh, I see what you did there . . . why u jelly???

:p

1:49 pm May, 13 Deltus said...

I would bite that pear like it was an apple and I was starving. Day-um!

1:51 pm May, 13 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Re: Picture girl on left.
..
..
Momma Cass lives!
Guess that ham sandwich didn’t kill her after all, maybe the cigarettes will finish her off.

1:52 pm May, 13 creature said...

…mrs. wedgie, hot damn, son
.
slutwalk a daily occurrence at huntington beach pier

1:57 pm May, 13 DarkSock said...

SlutWalk is a good band name. Son.
.
Add Jello shots for a slut crawl.

2:01 pm May, 13 Merle Baggard said...

Paul Anka kicks ass. That’s better than the original. No joke.

2:05 pm May, 13 Steve L. said...

the Slut Walk rolled over to Vancouver a while ago. and some hott organizer for the event was asked whether the women in the Slut Walk were available bachelorettes. she said, in her typical bubbly airhead personality voice, that it’d be great if people can hook up because of the event and so on and so forth…
.
but i knew right then that she was full of shit. i know better than to try and romance women in a protest about sensitive gender issues.
.
i just watch from afar with a spyglass. for that is the principled way of… something.

2:06 pm May, 13 Steve L. said...

and to think, the Slut Walk originated from Toronto.
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh Toronto. now you’ll never be New York.

2:10 pm May, 13 Steve L. said...

Wedgie pear is amazing. but i’ll leave the bulk of the Wedgie Pear commentary to Wedgie.

2:28 pm May, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucking douche dolls almost had my young wife in tears. She went to Wal-Mart to get a Prince for my three year old who was creating a scene in the tub where Snow White and Aurora were getting steamy, I’m all for that but she’s only three and I don’t want a lesbo daughter, she found one that looked like a Ken and the rest were all douchebags. Retail Fact. Nirvana Meh? Paul Anka total douche for covering that song. Dave Grohl should have kicked his little botoxed Arab ass.

2:30 pm May, 13 jonezy said...

by the way, 2 things:
.
dude that ran over a chick in his monster truck from 2 fridays ago- that dude owns a MMA T-shirt design company- which is apropos of the Onion link here.
.
#2- no mention yet of Grieco producing the new Showtime show about Gigilos? Called none other than ‘Gigilos’. As if he hasn’t already done enough already.
.
Apparently he was also starring in a SyFy movie last weekend called Almighty Thor (which I’m sure had more viewers than the box office Thor release). Buy your DVDs now!!!

2:42 pm May, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Apologies. This is grunge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4-5OtBx6u8

2:48 pm May, 13 mr.reeve said...

Wedgie Pear FTB
Bruno Mars’ cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit and Billy Jean mashed together makes me want to pull out all the pubs (not the drinking one) from my nut sack. FUCK YOU Bruno Mars you giant assclown!!!

2:48 pm May, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sorry about the four old dragon ladies. This is grunge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcSBurP8yls

2:55 pm May, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I give up, that was Mrs. Kroeger. Never much cared for grunge.

7:28 pm May, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Anyone with a Louis Vuitton tatt on his bod is eventually gonna be carryin’ ’round old baggage.

7:29 pm May, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’d imagine the airlines will weigh that dude and charge him for excess carry-on baggage.
Douchebaggage.

7:32 pm May, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I looked out my windshield and saw directly in front of me the tail of a Dodge Ram truck with bright red truck nutz. Does that make it a teabaggin’ wagon?

7:34 pm May, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Wedgie Pear is the total best kind of pear: She has a wasp waist lending high contrast to the butt part.
And other inspirational qualities.

7:36 pm May, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There’s nothing wrong with coveting Bleeth, DB1, as long as you go to Catholic confession or suffer through the Day of Atonement.
Then you can go out and re-covet all over again.
That’s the way it’s done, Son.

7:51 pm May, 13 Hermit said...

Slut walk?
.
I don’t know about Boston, but where I come from we have laws against letting them run loose.
.
A strictly-enforced municipal ordinance requires us to walk our sluts on a leash, and keep them vaccinated against rabies and panic disorder.
.
Had one chew through her rope and run out into traffic. She was hit broadside by a UPS truck loaded with refrigerated lettuce. The people on the street covered their ears against the chilling screams of agony. God knows I tried, but I couldn’t hit the mute button, my hands lay limp and useless at my sides.
.
She never truly died. I could feel her beady eyes following me during my night walks, piercing the darkness, but revealing nothing.
.
She lived under a neighbor’s front porch ’til late fall, when she started lactating, and soon became a nursing mother, nourishing her demented offspring with venom, which flowed like pine sap from her ample breasts.

7:52 pm May, 13 Douchio Iglesias said...

That’s not a paid to pose, DB1. That definitely looks like a run of the mill raver girl. Just walk around the LA Colliseum between the months of June and October. It’s full of them.

8:15 pm May, 13 MoeDouche said...

Now THIS….is a real pear!

Need I say more?

10:14 pm May, 13 Wedgie said...

Don’t you wish all wedgies resulted in that look? I’d give out a few more if it would work like that. And I would gladly walk for sluts as well. Or run. ‘Cuz you have a better chance of catching them that way.Unless, as my wife puts it, “she can run faster scared than you can mad”.

12:47 pm May, 14 Anonymous said...

the Slut walk is hardly annual, not yet anyways since its the first year this has happened… all thanks to the center of the universe, Toronto Ontario Canada

http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/

1:08 pm May, 14 Stephanie said...

Being 19 years old,and doing dumb things, could in fact ruin the rest of your life,quite easily. You’ll ask yourself when you’re 40 if you did the things you wanted to? Trust me,every decision you make,could be a regret or a great thing…or maybe not either,but just a dumb idea. Maybe I’m suggesting,not to have a life filled with bad ideas. Young girl,needs to step away from the penis.

5:17 pm May, 14 BigBag said...

A bunch of buddies and I are organizing a Rapewalk to chase the Slutwalk down the street. You know, because they are asking for it dressed that way.

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