Monday, May 23, 2011

HCwDB After Hours: “How Much Is That Doggy-Style in the Window” Pear

What do I have in common with Harold Camping?

Currently, we’re both flabbergasted.

Wow.  Just wow.

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:22 pm May, 23 Wedgie said...

Well, at least we’ll all die happy now. Thanks Sock.

7:28 pm May, 23 waldouche said...

something slightly off, like the women in “Mars Attacks”. Where’s Slim Whitman when you need him?

7:35 pm May, 23 Mr. Belvadouche said...

that window is filthy, but it doesn’t appear that she needs another BUTTler.

7:36 pm May, 23 MoeDouche said...

Man, that website is full of juicy pears. And this one is one the juiciest one I’ve seen. Did she have Botox shots in her arse? That looks so smooth and tight.

7:59 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ass Pear Laplante is explaining the Bush bank bailout with the trillion fine hairs on her tight stinkhole mounds and with transcendental skill using the blinds in her anus to vacuum all contributions to her new PAC. The young erotic homosapiens(hic) of the female gender tend to attract worker bees (dudes) with a strange anal pubic hair display that the greatest WW11 cryptologists could not fathom until they had researched the Enigma Machine. That doomsday guy is the shit.
.
Only for my HCwDB friends I and the Mrs., praise Jebus for her strength, for a limited time, with a limited volume of blessings can send to you a clump of our miracle mud today. Just wipe it on like a dirty ole pig and see your debits turn to credits, your millstone into bounty, your hovel into Hollywood. Praise Jebus name. But before you send $29.99 in whole, or three blessed payments of $29.99, just watch this here video. http://www.video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2912878405399014351#
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Run Hermit Run. The Lizards and the Jews are coming.
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I hear a strange wind outside. Perhaps the case of beer and few puffs of chronic were not enough to set me free.
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Where’s Dr. Bunsen?

8:01 pm May, 23 DarkSock said...

I would belly-flop off of the grand canyon into a pool of rabbi’s badgers just in the off chance that I might be reincarnated as a piece of fabric. One particular small swatch of pink fabric.

8:06 pm May, 23 DarkSock said...

I would take on the entire Seal 6 team in hand-to-hand combat, wearing only armor made from spray adhesive and used cat litter, for the privilege of being slapped across the face with a writhing hefty bag full of the pets belonging to the neighbor of the Teamster that drove the truck that delivered those thongs that were unloaded from a Taiwanese freighter docked at the Los Angeles port to the Victoria’s Secret warehouse from whence they were shipped forth to her.

8:07 pm May, 23 DarkSock said...

I would infiltrate Buckingham Palace in broad daylight wearing an inverted mule carcass and bitch-slap the Queen Mother just for the change to make a grilled cheese sandwich from the contents of her shower drain trap.

8:21 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Queen Mother is a deader Mr. Sock. How are the crawdads raining this spring? Oh Dear! IT must have been 4 score and 223 days since I’s seen a crawdaddy pie. Oprah used ta be dere waiting for all of us chiblins, even Buckwheat and his brother Cotton who was always turning into a monkey or Uncle George. Fuck this one still freaks me out old and stoned and fucking drunk. Fuck Oprah.
.

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Kroeger OUJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

8:51 pm May, 23 Hermit said...

I would slather my rectum with rhododendron fertilizer and acrylic house paint while scraping my man-scrotum up and down the length of a rusty twelve dollar garden rake on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at high noon, if she would let me gently caress her almost freakishly symmetrical supertangas with the tail feather of a gestating adolescent emu.

8:53 pm May, 23 D. Baggins said...

Well, I, umm, err, eewwwwoooohhh. This post on a scale of 1 to 10 is a 187 on the awesome meter of life. I really wish now that I hadn’t volunteered to be rendered a eunuch by Flyoteeth during the last mother-ship flyby otherwise I’d be waxing the on until Mr Miyagi was off Danielson.

9:31 pm May, 23 Ted Brogan said...

Is that real? Doth mine eyes deceive me?

9:34 pm May, 23 DarkSock said...

I’m getting an Elastigirl vibe from this picture; and by “vibe” I mean elbow bursitis…
qwer

11:32 pm May, 23 ehcuodouche said...

That is major league ass pear. None of that triple A shit. She brings the heat and breaks bats. There’s a metaphor in here. Or not. What was I saying. Oh, yeah. Pear. 3D pear busting out of the frame. Damn!

12:06 am May, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Like a Frenchman waiting for his fresh morning baguette and one of those queer coffees they drink while reading Le Monde, I wait to see that pear move. Wake up Dark Sock and make her ass shake like some 1980’s model come to life movie damnit. For two hours I have stared at her. She keeps me from my stash of banned pharmaceuticals that could put me into an infantile sleep.
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The drugs beckon me with their sultry promise of peace. Why did I keep them stashed when I went to the nutter? Must be because I new I would need them to test me as the astronaut program is testing my nerves. Hot Paki chick married an astronaut. Big fucking deal. She was so hairy she needed some work before countdown too if ya know what I’m saying. Her hairy taco topper went up to her naval. They probably use her clippings for reinforcement on the re-entry tiles the pricks.
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Always hated the French. They killed Oscar Wilde the gay brigantine with their copious amounts of absinthe, opium, and syphillus. But they do know how to cook some food. When I arrived in Paris an a chippy spring day in 1917, the place was a fucking mess. Anyway, we had a long jet flight and couldn’t find any food except for the subway level. So we got sick and missed all of Paris the fuckwads. Puked a good batch in the old Novatel though.

12:09 am May, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s after three. Somebody wake me up for Haiku. Son

i would tell 45 minutes of gilbert gottfried style rape jokes to a dinner for politically active lesbian feminists and then run naked through the room as the prime rib course was finished, for a chance to take a waterslide down the worlds longest waterslide filled with barbeque sauce and lemon juice using only rush limbaugh as a two man luge style raft, in order to win a spot on a japanese game show where contestants challenge each other to do the most stupid tricks for cash prizes in order to have a chance to bid my entire lifesavings on etsy, only to be outbid seconds later by dark sock, for the opportunity to purchase the bulk medical waste from the place where she once went for liposuction and anal bleaching consultation. .

1:14 am May, 24 Steve L. said...

now there’s a purpose to HCwDB after hours.

3:34 am May, 24 Collaz B. Popped said...

Totally fucc Oprah….

4:58 am May, 24 Hermit said...

Get some sleep Rev before they find you curled up in the fetal position at the doorstep of Her Royal Majesty’s Ministry of Methadone Administration clutching a dead laptop and incoherently mumbling something about Friday Haiku and ass pear.
.
Speaking of ate-up Canadians, who doesn’t hate that arrogant fuck Alex Trebek?
Dude acts like he made up all those “answers” himself, and when he gives that phony little interview with each contestant, he does so with obvious disdain and a complete lack of interest.
You know he’s jealous and resentful of that Wheel of Fortune dude who gets to finger-fuck Vanna White during commercial breaks while Alex is stuck conversing with middle-aged, frigid, Prius-driving intellectual feminists who smell like stale patchouli and bitterness.

5:34 am May, 24 D. Baggins said...

Early B-Day present for DB? Well played sock, well played.

6:27 am May, 24 mr.reeve said...

I love Super Tangas. They are everything that is good and pure in the this world….and that world is the world of ass pear. Hey, I think I better register that domain name.

6:32 am May, 24 Wedgie said...

What is the name of the light that shines from between? Verily, it must be named. Oh yes, it must be named.

9:41 am May, 24 Ted Brogan said...

Wedgie: It’s not necessarily the light itself, but Happy Gap still seems fitting.

12:08 am May, 25 Stephanie said...

“Holy shit, is that another tornado coming?” I know,bad taste…

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