Monday, May 9, 2011

Jacques Doucheteau Tags Señor Pud-a-Bator


Reader Jacques Doucheteau provides the tag as well as the commentary:

————————-
Holy effin’ kee-rap! That is a LOT of Miller High Life!

The Cheesy Gordita dribble stains down the front of of Señor Pud-a-bator’s wife-beater makes this scene of debauchery all the more enraging. And what’s with the tiny dog tag bling? Did Diesel start selling micro-dog tags for $80 or is this guy fifteen feet tall?

And oh, Stephanie and Jamie.

Jamie tries her best to looks sexy for the camera with her kissy-face duck lips, knowing full well that in twelve years time her three kids and diabetic cankles will reduce her romantic life to Passions and court TV with the occasional craigslist one night stand.

But Stephanie unknowingly beckons my penile acquiescence with her oblivious smile, matted eyeliner, and nose piercing her friend gave her one night when they were, soooooo drunk (giggle). Mmmmm, Stephanie.

I would zip-line using my own scrotum, bear-ass naked though a dense metallic dildo forest with a rare earth magnet imbedded in my colon, just for the mere opportunity to lick Sbarro pizza grease off the counter of the Claire’s store she bought those ridiculously gaudy hoop earrings at as part of a buy-2-get-1-free promotion.

Damnit, I need to get out more.

– Jacques Doucheteau
——

# posted by douchebag1
1:15 pm May, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

Well, at least he doesn’t shave his chest, that counts for something right? Nah, I didn’t think so either.
Stephanie’s black bra/white tank top FTW.

1:26 pm May, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Jacques:
“I would zip-line using my own scrotum, bear-ass naked
though a dense metallic dildo forest with a rare earth magnet
imbedded in my colon, just for the mere opportunity to lick
Sbarro pizza grease off the counter of the Claire’s store she
bought those ridiculously gaudy hoop earrings at as part of a
buy-2-get-1-free promotion.”
.
My God that is soulful poetry and I literally FEEL your lust dripping out of your pen…er, keyboard!

1:41 pm May, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Jaime almost has a Gina Gershon vibe going, almost, speaking of Gina Gershon why wasn’t she on the list of Hot Jewess’s?
.
I almost wanna give Señor Pud-a-bator a notta, Yeah he’s dopey and kind of a goof but he seems rather harmless.
.
On another note how bout them B’s busting out the broom against the Criers especially after last years debacle.

1:42 pm May, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The girls knew they could make it look like an “accident” happened. “He had a lot to drink officer.” “I saw him trip over the cases of Miller Light, sir and then he just disappeared.” This would be the last time Timmy would he would “season” their tacos with alpaca fistings.

1:43 pm May, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wow. Just wow. This would be the last time he would “season” their tacos with alpaca fistings. Good lord.

1:51 pm May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Why are they all dressed the same?
.
I dunno. I see Stephanie being the one who develops diabetic cankles. I imagine Jamie being a pageant mom who drives her nine-year old to anorexia,

2:18 pm May, 9 creature said...

that’s not Gordito dribbles… Unky Gordon eats alot of proccessed cheese… that’s Gordon dribbles down the chest of ths senors wife beater

well done Jacques, tho you may wanna rethink the scrotal ziplining…without the proper callous, the blisters fester quickly

3:03 pm May, 9 Wedgie said...

They’re not all dressed the same…..but only because he forgot his black bra.

3:03 pm May, 9 Wedgie said...

Hey, black bra….now Vin has to write a rap song.

3:07 pm May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

JD steps up and goes yard.<br.
.

I’ll take Jamie now and I’ll bet ya she already has the three kids part out of the way

3:37 pm May, 9 Matt said...

Wow, so the site now has clones writing for it…great…

4:09 pm May, 9 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Matt, DB1 tires easily. I blame his strict diet of sugar cereals and grain alcohol (dude’s gotta be pushin’ 200lbs), his sense of entitlement and lack of discipline. So yeah, he’s gonna have other people write now and then. You think Jabba the Hut did all his own stunts. Hell no! He had stunt doubles, fuckin’ duh.
.
Jaques, what I want to know is which of these chicks is most likely to drop a deuce during coitus. You’re the shitspert in this area.

4:10 pm May, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Senor looks like he is in the early throws of chronic pancreatitis.

4:47 pm May, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I mean, seriously… Where the hell are they with that many tall boys of High Life? I don’t know of too many Plaid Pantry’s with vertical vane blinds in the cooler, so where the fuck is this?! It’s driving me batty.
.
@ Nancy Dreuche,
Heh heh. “Shitspert”. That word is loaded with so much more meaning. Though to answer your question: Jamie. At least a bloody wet one after strategic application of a pink sock donkey punch.
.
And I had no idea I was clone writing for DB1 now. Where the hell is my paycheck? Oh wait, NOW I get it. It’s more that just mere coincidence that there’s a link to the Huffington Post just beneath the archives.
.
Great. Thanks a lot DB1. How much you selling the site to CNN for?

5:16 pm May, 9 idfma said...

It looks like he wiped his ass with that t-shirt. No notta pass for him.

5:49 pm May, 9 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Jaques The Donkey Punch: Way fucking better than Grapenuts.

6:25 pm May, 9 Douchble Helix said...

@Jacques Doucheteau, lovely writing. But let’s all be honest, Stephanie has a poon and a pulse. Or, what I lovingly call ‘the total package’.

But there’s not much else going for her.

8:55 pm May, 9 Steve L. said...

within one week, Pud-a-bator will die from an overdose. i just knows it.

9:17 pm May, 9 Wedgie said...

That guy in the photo is Matt.

1:15 am May, 10 tall guy said...

Rockin’ a look like that he’s a future Rhino. Which is, obviously, the male version of a Cougar. Wrinkly, horny and charges at anything. Definite douche, and will remain that way until he rebrands himself. I call HOS!

2:41 am May, 10 Kamagra said...

I saw him stumble cases, Miller Light, sir, and then just disappeared. “This would be the last time that Timmy would be” season “of their friend and fistings alpaca.

4:58 am May, 10 Collaz B. Popped said...

He’s in great physical shape,,,very conditioned.

5:01 am May, 10 Collaz B. Popped said...

Oh – and to where this pic was taken, thats an easy one to figure out –

Just about any State College / University in Middle America –
Starting from Albany, NY and going to the Colorado Rockies.

The future is bright, gotta wear shades.

5:42 am May, 10 The Dude said...

Not only do I give the Pudster a notta pass, this scene of bedouchery™ has me thirsty for a Miller Lite. Nice wall.

This guy is so shitfaced the local dogs keep trying to bury him.

He’s so shitfaced his beater is bursting with pools of taco sauce.

6:03 am May, 10 Hermit said...

I call sloppy seconds on Jamie after Vin’s through. She reminds me of Mother.

10:31 am May, 10 Motorcycle Auctions said...

I almost wanna give Señor Pud-a-bator a notta, Yeah he’s dopey and kind of a goof but he seems rather harmless.

11:24 am May, 10 Matt said...

@ Nancy…Nice Jabba the Hut joke…that was genuinely funny

8:09 pm May, 10 Stephanie said...

I wouldn’t want to be stuck on an island with a Gilligan.

Leave a Reply

What is 12 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)