Monday, May 23, 2011

Rocky Mountin’ High (Glasses)

The very sight of this pairing would have been enough to send John Denver into a tail-spin.

Tasha is the quintessential Snow Bunny that awakens my Bi-Polar Bear.  Not a metaphysical one, but rather the one in my pants.

Her legs are longer than a Rotary Club speech, and they go all the way up to her soft downy fur…coat.  What warm toasty treats are bundled within?

Well, how would the Snow Douche know? His glasses are higher than Reverend Chad’s last night before rehab.

His glasses are higher than Charlie Sheen’s monthly street pharmaceutical bill.

They are higher than Chef Paul Prudhomme’s blood pressure.

You get the picture.

This was all foreseen in the epic song-story “Bite Her and the Snow-Douche”.

Yeah, I just made an obscure Rush reference. Deal with it.

# posted by Bagnonymous
2:05 pm May, 23 Anonymous said...

Natasha’s long legs have a wonderful way of making an ass out of themselves.

2:06 pm May, 23 Mr. Belvadouche said...

must be long winter…..with all that food stored in his cheeks and all.

ps. i’d hit it

2:09 pm May, 23 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

She’s wearing totally appropriate footwear for the ski slopes, too!

2:11 pm May, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

The baggin’s over and the lust is clearing
Disciples of the DarkSock sound the knell
Rejoicing echoes as snowpear’s gleaming
Douchebag, please beat it, return to hell
Snow pear is victorious
And lands right over my face to stay again

2:12 pm May, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ah yes the dreaded Bro-Tilt, Having witnessed this many an occasion whilst in the Teton Tange i can attest to it’s foulness and bagitude. See below.

http://mediapro.foliomag.com/photo/brotilt-1?context=latest
.
bro tilt n. First exposed in Skiing magazine’s September 2009 issue, this disturbing syndrome afflicts those donning both beanies and sunglasses. Upon doing so the wearer must decide whether to position the sunglass frame either behind their ears and underneath the beanie, or on the outside of their hat. When proceeding with latter option there is a tendency—nay, a blatant desire—by young male skiers to tilt the frames upward, at which point bam: you have “bro tilt.” Like damage inflicted to ski resorts by the western pine beetle, instances of this unfortunate trend appear to be confined to sun-soaked Rocky Mountain towns like Jackson Hole and Crested Butte. To be safe, report any sightings to us immediately.

2:14 pm May, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

His glasses are higher than Janice Dickinson’s lip psi.

2:15 pm May, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

His glasses are higher than David Hasselhoff’s daughter’s therapy bills.

2:15 pm May, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

His glasses are higher than Leif Garrett in 1982.

2:23 pm May, 23 Hermit said...

“His glasses are higher than Reverend Chad’s last night before rehab.”
.
.
FTW

2:24 pm May, 23 Wedgie said...

Snowbaggery is right. But you’ve gotta love a girl who wears pumps outside even when it’s 10 below.
“It’s not how you feel, it’s how you look. And you look mahvelous”.
Fuccen a right, bubba.

2:43 pm May, 23 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

“…send John Denver into a tail spin”.

Too soon, son.

Wow. Just wow.

3:54 pm May, 23 Wedgie said...

“Ain’t much an old country boy like me can’t hack”.
Well, except for gravity, of course.

3:56 pm May, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What were John Denver’s last words?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Give up? “Thank God I’m a country buoy.”

4:13 pm May, 23 Mr. Belvadouche said...

His glasses are definitely higher than that bitch “webster” that stole my time slot…son.

4:18 pm May, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Maybe it is the Canadian in me, but I’ll give him a notta just for wearing a Colorado Rockies throwback toque. The only sports team ever to say “How bad can New Jersey be compared to this?”

4:22 pm May, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is a Douchey Bleethy Low….

4:26 pm May, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

He may be wearing more makeup than her.
.
His glasses are higher than RevChad IN rehab.

4:38 pm May, 23 Mr. Belvadouche said...

His glasses are higher than the gross sales of Edward Stratemeyer’s best selling book about a girl detective….Ahhhh shit Nancy!

5:06 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m way stoned and I think the grass and dog poo in my daughter’s recent cuts are beyond my magical capabilities to cure. Did Hermit come back, or is he still blushing?

5:18 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cured.I have always loved the first day I give kids MEK in a water bottle. Medusa’s rhyme must have been set to the epic tome,….”The Battle of Evermore.’

5:18 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ I mean externally.

5:25 pm May, 23 The Dude said...

His visage has a Trumpiness to it, needs to be hit with a snow shovel.

3:37 am May, 24 Collaz B. Popped said...

The Retro Colorado Rockies thing hits the minority of Americans that realize hockey is the only sport too…….
Somehow this guy is still a DB for the sunglass height….

And the meek shall inherit the Earth.

7:09 am May, 24 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Avalanche… Rockies are friggin baseball… And baseball sucks. Speaking of suck, she looks like she could handle a little chin music.

7:40 pm May, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mandouchian Candidate, re: baseball, you’re probably just watching it wrong.

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