Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sunday Pear: DoucheyWallnuts Crypt Sweeper Edition

Alert HCwDB comments thread regular DoucheyWallnuts gifts us with this Pear breakdown:

“This is a promo picture from the direct to DVD movie, “The Crypt Keeper’s Pear; When Good Things Happen to Bad Mummies,” and not a photo of Steven Tyler and one of his groupies taken backstage at American Idol.

It also isn’t a picture capturing the tender moment when Steven Hawking’s nursemaid removes the catheter from his pee-pee and cleans him up.

Nor is it Keith Richards engaging in role-playing with one of his teen-aged daughter’s friends.

Actually, it’s not even a photo from the outstanding “Crypt Keeper” series of films. I made that up.

The owners of this Intellectual Property had the good sense to quit while they were ahead, and let the 1996 classic, “Bordello of Blood,” starring Dennis Miller and featuring douchebag-for-life Corey Feldman, speak for itself.

But I digress… While I can’t imagine any reason for this photo to have been conceived and then set-up and taken, ultimately it is a picture that proves the point that no matter how ridiculous and haphazard the juxtaposition of the elements are in a photo, that men will ultimately focus in on the ass pear in question.

It’s all about the ass pear;  not the Benjamins, the ass pear.”

# posted by Bagnonymous
3:18 pm May, 22 DarkSock said...

Ross Perot sure can pull some sexy help.

3:19 pm May, 22 DarkSock said...

Darla needed the cash, but hated her job as fluffer on Baron Von Goolo’s movie set.

3:36 pm May, 22 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If I ever got my nutters and nethers lightly feather dusted by a hott in a maid’s uniform with bonus white stockings, there would be a shoot heard ’round the world!

3:45 pm May, 22 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Joan Rivers smiles for the crowd as the stage hand applies her finishing touches.

3:45 pm May, 22 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

I must admit I do loves me the hott French Maids.

3:51 pm May, 22 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

At 92, Arnold Schwarzenegger smiles at the thought of possibly creating another love child with the household help against the wishes of his current wife, Isabella Acres.

3:54 pm May, 22 creature said...

‘uh yeah, I know he’s a bit decrepit, but, he has his own pyramid!’

3:58 pm May, 22 boone doggle said...

anime pear…

4:02 pm May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cartoons.

4:15 pm May, 22 Crucial Head said...

@DarkSock,
.
Since you’re the temp boss, do you have temporary control over the Hall of Mock?
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I think it’s time for Hermit’s induction.
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Just let me know when the ceremony happens. I’ll bring the lube.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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And Lämp

4:51 pm May, 22 Wedgie said...

One thing’s for sure: pear with a dead guy is still better than pear with a douchebag.
.
.
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New site?

5:07 pm May, 22 Hermit said...

@ Crucial Head,
.
You need not bring the lube, I’m already beginning to moisten at the thought..
.
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From what I understand, when Obama leaves the country he doesn’t entrust the nuclear launch button keys with Biden.
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I’m pretty sure DB1 has the keys to the HOM with him as well.
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I was was secretly hoping to have a double ceremony with Buffalo Beast anyway.

5:19 pm May, 22 Hermit said...

^And Lämp has been preoccupied since Friday’s thread..

6:01 pm May, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Good gravy, I finally saw that piece of crap “Bordello Of Blood” and almost took off my own head, it was so bad. And I mean bad-bad, not good-bad. Dennis Miller, I expected more out of you. And by that I mean delivering an eviscerating diatribe against all of Washington while making that devilish smirk and occasionally shoving your face into my snatch.
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What were we talking about? Oh, pear. Right. Mmmm, pear.

6:23 pm May, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nice! A MILF…Mummy I’ld Like to well you know…French. And I will have to disagree, I am all about the Abrahams over this CGAssPear.
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And Hermit for HOH (Hall of Hermit)!

6:47 pm May, 22 DarkSock said...

I’m down widdit.
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But do nawt have the launch code.

7:26 pm May, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

DarkSock is my newest hero!!!!, what a week it was.
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Apropos of nothing The Band’s the Last Waltz is the shit son!!!

8:10 pm May, 22 Wedgie said...

It is indeed all about the pear. Because the Benjamins are printed for only one reason: to go get the pear. Pear is why we get up in the morning, spend long days toiling with asshole customers, go to functions we don’t want to attend.
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.
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Tell our client his daughter is really talented on the piano..
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.
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Et fuccen cetera.
Good night now.

8:12 pm May, 22 Wedgie said...

PS: Great job Sock. For a guy in mouse ears, you are pretty sharp.

8:40 pm May, 22 creature said...

those are mouse ears??? I thought it was bat labia!

9:07 pm May, 22 The Dude said...

Deadbag.

9:30 pm May, 22 DarkSock said...

Well, I prolly need to concentrate a little more on the ‘bags before I mess up the ph in the pool.
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There can be no Yin without Yang; no Coke without Pepsi; no foreskin without labia…wait…I forgot about circumcision….
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Well, you know what I mean.
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We have the whole rest of teh interwebs for ‘bating; but we came here TO MOCK!
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And then ‘bate.
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So…Pear shall be banished to after hours. Lest we be forced to rename this site “Tangas with Tennis-Elbow-Stricken Admirers”.
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Not that such a site would be a bad thing…

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