Monday, May 9, 2011

The NBA… It’s Creeepppptastic!

National Basketball Association “superfan” James Goldstein demonstrates the real point of professional sports.

Rich, creepy ass oldbags oggling cheerleaders while sweaty men run in the background.

Or, as Marx once termed it, The Douchetarian Aristocracy and the Exploitation of the Boobie Hottie.

# posted by douchebag1
9:23 am May, 9 DarkSock said...

Look in her eyes. Her empty eyes.
.
Cocaine’s a helluva drug.

9:26 am May, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

Thank you, DB1. For getting to the heart of the sport. Dude may as well have a pot belly and a toga.

9:27 am May, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

And agreed with DarkSock.

9:37 am May, 9 Wedgie said...

She loves him for his soul. The nine-figure bank account is just a happy coincidence.

9:40 am May, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

In the world of professional sports, his nine-figure bank account IS his soul.

9:42 am May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

The NBA is also Craaaaaptastic. Worst sport ever. Bad citizens playing a playground game sans-fundamentals in front of low intellect lemmings that believe the officiating is competent and the action is spontaneous. It’s professional wrestling with big goons chasing a sphere . Horrible.
.
And by chasing a sphere I mean tittie fucking this cadaver-like blonde in this photo and then sending her out for donuts. Powdery sugary ones

9:45 am May, 9 The Dude said...

I thought Phil Spector was in prison.

9:48 am May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

On a related note, Vera Jimenez
.

9:50 am May, 9 idfma said...

I wonder if the hat and coat are made out of skin he shed himself or if they used other reptiles.

9:51 am May, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^@ Dark Sock

Cocaine combined with Viagra/Cialis makes this kind of relationship possible.

9:52 am May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

As an avowed not-a-fan of the NBA I do not have the right to call my Laker fan buddies here in town and gloat or rub in the embarrasing self-distruction of the 2011 Laker playoff run as it desolved into frustrated , unwarranted cheap shots against an apparent far superior foe.
.
I live by the code, Son
.
But anyway, can anyone explain WTF happened to them? The Ron Artest Curse? Kobe Bryant finally getting much deserved Karma ? Inside I love it but that’s as far as it goes.

9:58 am May, 9 Nancy Dreuche said...

Her eyes say, “Get this creeper off of me.” But her wallet says “Show me the money! All I have to do is touch gross dudes and I can haz Cheezburger (to look at, not to eat.)!”
.
As for exploiting hott chicks for cash money, I’m all for it. As long as I get a cut. That’s why I’m my own pimp. Which reminds me, I’m gonna have to cut a bitch because I lost gramma’s birthday check.

10:04 am May, 9 creature said...

the Dude nailed it…this is Phil Specter’s cousin

10:07 am May, 9 creature said...

her eyes say, “the jumping jax I’l have to do on this corpse later is gross, but, he’s making my Lexus payments”

10:12 am May, 9 Bigphatnotadouche said...

The Crypt Keeper can sure pull some Hott…

10:18 am May, 9 army (ret) douche said...

ARGH! the zombie apocalypse is upon us!!!!

10:22 am May, 9 FlipFriddle said...

Ahhh. The never-ending joy of side-boob.

10:25 am May, 9 smackdouche said...

I would bet my life that she speaks with a russian accent.

10:50 am May, 9 Douche Springsteen said...

@Darksock
due to that glorious sideboob (and the fact that my brain cells which had been marinating in whiskey all weekend are screaming for more now that they’re dried up) it took me about 3 full minutes to even realize she had eyes.

10:57 am May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

This entire thread FTW.

11:01 am May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

The heartbreaking thing is that a fair young doe like that should be so happy. Lanky, beautiful, she should be rosy in the cheeks and in the arms of the cute boy who works at the hardware store and played football in high school. Instead, she’s in a vortex of heroin, laxatives and self-loathing, selling herself off for the weekend in order to secure another month’s rent. Awful. By the time she’s my age, she’ll have holes in her aorta, HPV and be totally alone, save for the creepy landlord she blows to pay the rent. Run, little deer, run! It’s not too late! A month at Mme. Medusa’s finishing school for wayward hotts will set you straight. But first, more of that glorious sideboob.

11:01 am May, 9 Crottenham said...

….from a wiki article on SG, see quote below;

His most recent investment in the house is an installation by light artist James Turrell in a concrete structure below the main residence, known as “Skyspace” or “Sky Box”, which was described by the London Telegraph as “a high-tech lair fit for a Bond villain.”[2]

Lair, that about sums it up….yek!

11:06 am May, 9 Troy Tempest said...

her eyes say, “Yeah, I know he’s a troll, but he’s packin’ 100g of coke, and if I sit on his face, I don’t have to look at it.”

11:18 am May, 9 tall guy said...

I admit my first thought was of Phil Spector. I gotta get out more. She is, without doubt, a total hott. Bonus points for detached look and sideboob.

11:32 am May, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Smeagol has his precious. Smeagol will not let his precious go. No no. Precious will stay with Smeagol forever. Yes. Smeagol will continue the diet of white powders and Ex-Lax that keeps precious in the small room. Fucck that gold ring, precious is MUCH better.”

11:34 am May, 9 Wedgie said...

This guy looks like what I imagine all banking & oil executives look like.
She looks like their typical escort, errr…executive assistant.

12:03 pm May, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is so like, exactly what Daddy said would happen if I took up competitive yodelling.

12:12 pm May, 9 Stephanie said...

Backyard troll on my lawn came to life.

12:32 pm May, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

What did sideboob do to deserve such a troll monster? If she gets any closer to ‘im we’ll be hearing a rendition of “Monster Mash.”

1:27 pm May, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

First and foremost, Side boob reveal is a glorious thing and hers is like a ray of sunshine after overalls days of cold spring rain.
.
Her look says so much and by so much I mean “If this what I got to do (literally & figuratively) to keep the condo w/pool, weekly allowance, etc; then so be it. Shame, morals dignity and self esteem are overrated”

4:15 pm May, 9 fatness said...

leatherface can still pull the hott

8:59 pm May, 9 Steve L. said...

that chick may be a bloodsucker, but even she knows that oldbag’s blood is inedible.
.
so she just opts for the cocaine.

2:44 am May, 10 Kamagra said...

The judge is qualified and the action is spontaneous. This is a great wrestling goons chase the ball.

4:40 am May, 10 Collaz B. Popped said...

He’s scary,,,She probably came here as a Croatian nanny.

NBA = most overrated sport of all time.

5:47 am May, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I used to love Tales From the Crypt. Cryptkeeper is a nadda in my book.

7:00 am May, 10 I R A Darth Aggie said...

She’s giving me The Eye.
.
No, not that one. The one that says For the love of Pete, someone rescue me. Or shoot me in the head. Twice.

7:15 am May, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

NBA = nothin but assholes

7:20 pm May, 17 modern warfare 3 said...

hey I noticed that there is a page that is stealing all of your posts!! Do you want me to send you their website???

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