Thursday, May 5, 2011

Where’s Boatwanks?

Somewhere in this catamaran Darksockian boatcrashery, I’ve carefully hidden not one, not two, but three puddy boatwank Waldeeche.

Look closely.

Can you knock them off their penis substitute boats with an oar and hit on Kelly by offering her a Miller Lite?

# posted by douchebag1
12:09 pm May, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I see them. Yes I could knock them off their boats as long as there wasn’t much cardio involved. I always used my flowing rock star hair and my penis as penis substitutes. My mother used Sweet N’ Low and her mouth.

12:12 pm May, 5 Douchble Helix said...

I see 3 sweet little tushies on the left. Whatever attracted them is conditionally OK in my book.

12:16 pm May, 5 Ted Brogan said...

For the amount of hotties in this picture, the photographer has defied statistics to not get a good angle on a single one. Congratulations, sir.

12:21 pm May, 5 Hermit said...

Darksockian Boatcrashery FTW

12:30 pm May, 5 Anonymous said...

The sunglasses can’t cover up the MEOC being thrown my way by the brunette peach in the peach bikini.

12:31 pm May, 5 Wheezer said...

There are easily more than three choadwanks here, Boss. There are so many there’s no way you could’ve hidden them all, and that made them easy to find.
.
Unfortunately.
.
.
.
.
.
But my kingdom for a closeup on Ms. Zebrakini…..

12:40 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

I see Zakk Wylde’s swim trunks…

12:43 pm May, 5 Vin Douchal said...

This scene is a good case for police brutality. With clubs and tasers. And spittling mean dogs
.
.
Darksockian Boatcrashery is the working title of the next Guns n Roses album due out Spring 2017

12:45 pm May, 5 Douche Springsteen said...

It looks like upside down and backwards visor boy is trying to administer a cow bite to sweet stripey-pear Kelly.

12:53 pm May, 5 Douche Springsteen said...

If you cropped the lower left corner of the frame, that’s a print suitable for the HCwDB at the Guggenheim in 2023 show. It’s a reversal of Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” where God is represented by a disembodied arm and Adam, either out of fear or spite, has turned his back on the notion of a supreme deity. If God isn’t dead like Nietzsche proclaimed, he is certainly considering suicide after watching Man whom he created in His own image, run so afoul of any so-called intelligent design.

1:51 pm May, 5 Banana Hammock said...

Lots of Boatwanks out in them See’s

2:02 pm May, 5 Mr. White said...

“Zebrakini” is a track from my upcoming album, “Zakk Wylde’s Swimtrunks.”

3:21 pm May, 5 creature said...

can’t really hate on wakeboarding debauchery as I have in fact been there in the past & have tasted the sweet nectar of the nubile bees attracted to the boating environment…
nothing really douchey about owning a boat & reaping the benefits of the magnetic hott attracting properties…however there is a substantial douche byproduct creating the great boat poon/douche dilemma

4:06 pm May, 5 Hermit said...

Douche Springsteen 12:53,
Great observation, but “Adam” is not turning his back out of fear or spite, but clearly because of the hot blond in a green string bikini.
In the background , in the white headband, we can see Sodom N. Gomorrah thrusting his finger into Zebrakini’s forbidden peach.

4:16 pm May, 5 Hermit said...

On the bottom right we see seventeen year old Wendy who has never done this kind of thing before and is out of her element.
Her pensive look betrays her self consciousness regarding her small breasts, speech impediment and prolapsed sphincter.

8:10 pm May, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The comments for this picture should have been locked after Reverend Chad’s first. There is no way anyone has anything better to say.
.
I’m man enough to admit this, especially after three Maker’s Mark 46s, a glass of red wine and Two Sambucas.

9:07 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Darksockian Boatcrashery.
.
I’ll be over at Urban Dictionary for a few minutes.
.
Brb.

10:19 pm May, 5 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

Please someone tell me that those aren’t stereo speakers at the top of the pic. So much for a nice relaxing day on the water, complete with DMX and surely the Black Eyed Peas. Son.

4:25 am May, 6 Hermit said...

Webster’s defines Darksockian:
.
.
.
Darksockian
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adj:
.
Of extraordinary disastrous consequences, (usually maritime)
.
The sinking of the Titanic was a shipwreck of Darksockian proportions.

6:04 am May, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Burn it.
.
Burn it with fire.
.
Burn it all down.

11:56 am May, 6 Stephanie said...

It looks like a lot of people who don’t know how to get a boat out of the dock.

6:47 am May, 7 Collaz B. Popped said...

Im adding “penis- substitute” to my vernacular….tks Db1.

7:45 am May, 7 Rick Derris said...

I am 100% positive that this was taken at the infamous Cove in Austin, TX.

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