Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Where’s Waldouche? – Mr. Biggs’ Shortbus Edition

Long time reg Mr. Biggs hid something stinky…

Somewhere in this gaggle of spring break sorority woo hotties I’ve hidden their pet Self Esteem project, Mort, who they hope they can rehabilitate by dressing like a wanskta.

Look closely.

Can you stop gouging your eyes long enough to find him?

# posted by Bagnonymous
2:02 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

Go back to “Running Without the Goose”. Mort is THAT guy. And there’s Chunky-gunt Jacky in front of him and Zebra Mope behind. Egads, nuke the entire site from orbit.

2:04 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

I mean this one. Sorry for the link to the alternate universe. Oh, hey, Jonezy!

2:04 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

HOLY FUCK. Encasing it in sheer netting does not make it go away. Yeah, I’m talking to you.

2:06 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck off Snor. Mrs.Kroeger has a restraining order against you filed yesterday you handsome fucking Jugaloo.

2:06 pm May, 18 smackdouche said...

Did someone find Multi-colored Jenny’s camera laying around and download the pics? She’s taking over today!

2:08 pm May, 18 Anonymous said...

That one Hott (loosely) has some bird poo ‘neath her glorious perky globes. And third from the right looks like a stoned ferret. FML.

2:09 pm May, 18 smackdouche said...

And in the interest of full disclosure: I could have a good time with M/C Jenny. I wouldn’t have to live up to any high expectations.

2:11 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I believe it was Papa Lemmingway who wrote about this group of scrohemians in his memoirs, “The Moveable Yeast.’
.
Son.

2:13 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I don’t think even Marion Berry would smoke crack out of the world’s ugliest human crack pipe (third from right). Man, she’s all kinda messed up.
.

2:13 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That dudes neck is so small he lost a wrestle with Ally McBeal.

2:15 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jenny’s thigh is so big she is used as a tugboat.

2:18 pm May, 18 jonezy said...

Well I guess I see why this pud mixes Hornitos with his OJ- anything to blur the lines when you’re facing a gaggle of goosetits like this sorry excuse for a Hott-Posse.
.
Another good name for DorkSick’s band:
.
“Wet Hot Posse”

2:18 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mana Nicole’s thigh is so big it was used as a substitute pen for when the zoo hosed out the elephant cages.

2:20 pm May, 18 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Jenny’s thigh is so big she is used for a jizzmop.

2:20 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mana Nicole’s thigh is so big it can hold a Schwarzenegger family reunion.

2:22 pm May, 18 jonezy said...

#1 fact you wish you didn’t know about this pic:
.
second from the right isn’t even wearing a skirt. Those are her curtains folks…

2:22 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mana Nicole’s thigh is so big the Vikings are going to play their homes games there next season.

2:24 pm May, 18 Organic Alpaca Nutrition said...

That little one probably squeaks and bucks like an uninitiated llama when entered from the rear.

2:24 pm May, 18 jonezy said...

Mana Nicole is wearing Serena Williams’ new line of bikini wear:
.
Interchangeable tops and bottoms- why fuss figuring out which should cover what- just throw this fucker on either way!

2:25 pm May, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

Holy crap, I just did a spittake. Seriously. After looking at this pic and reading the comments. Does anyone really care that Waldouche is there? Would anyone wanna be in that lineup of Freakazoids, (seriously, 3rd from the right if you were any skinnier I could see what your parents ate for lunch on the day they concieved you.)?
.
And smackdouche sometimes you just gotta go with who’s gonna give ya the least trouble and who can be placated and distracted with Hostess products whilst you make your getaway. Been there done that. Done that again * 2000 and then made my getaway.

2:26 pm May, 18 Hermit said...

The big dude with the black pants and zebra top probably abuses squeaky like a jelly dong at a girl scout sleepover.

2:29 pm May, 18 jonezy said...

actually, third from the right was on a Simpsons episode once… here it is

2:38 pm May, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

“Chunky-gunt Jacky” FTW!!!!

2:39 pm May, 18 Wedgie said...

Hey, there he is. I wonder why he’s wearing a brown bikini.

2:41 pm May, 18 Wedgie said...

“Well, ladies, we have two choices. Break up into two groups and ride the elevator, or take the stairs”.
Mooooooooo…………

2:43 pm May, 18 jonezy said...

(this just in, DB1 is going to shit himself when he finds out that the Mitch hedberg website has been relaunched – http://mitchhedberg.net/
.
Orrrr, is that what he’s been doing this whole time???)

2:44 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I would definitely pee in this before anyone else in the picture. That is unless Darksock would beat me to it.

2:53 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So I’m guessing that this is how they pick out the contestants for the next “Rock of Love” on VH1?

2:53 pm May, 18 Banana Hammock said...

Time to play Hott Frankenstein:
Face #7
Tits #2
Torso #2
Easy #3
WalDouche #4
Gonorrhea #6
Meh.. #5 & 8

2:59 pm May, 18 Banana Hammock said...

I guess I forgot # 1 (i’m not the first…) maybe she could donate ass but we require a better view for concurrence.

3:07 pm May, 18 mr.reeve said...

This picture makes me think of horses for some reason or Lamar Odoms wife……what?

3:09 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ #1, IMHO, has the least offensive hair in the group, BH. That’s a pretty safe contribution.

3:12 pm May, 18 DarkSock said...

Don’t forget to check in on the four guys that posted in Alternate Universe HCwDB for this picture.
.
Stupid Word Press.

3:13 pm May, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Slow Whitey and the Seven Skanks

3:18 pm May, 18 creature said...

chunky gunt jenny ate a buchel of bananas & drank 4 chai lattes before she volcanically spurted hieroglyphics on the ribcage of ethyl (2nd from left)

3:18 pm May, 18 soy bomb said...

Safe to say I wouldn’t swing my schlong anywhere near this crew. Especially the short cretin shying away from the “soul-taking device”

3:20 pm May, 18 creature said...

the highlight of the trip for snor is when the farm gals form a conga line & each in turn use his face as toilet paper after gorging at the shoney’s breakfast buffet

3:28 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mana Nicole is hiding 37 hands from former TSA agents in her left thigh. FACT.

3:49 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey Dark Sock! fucking ladies didn’t appreciate their dinner like they shoulda so I am stoned. I need a picture to get my “The Puffington Post” on for reals homeslice sasquatch.

4:20 pm May, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Egads that is a motley bunch. Although I wouldn’t blame him for hitting on any of them when the drunken festivities end at 2 AM.
.
Or as Boatbutter would say, “Any port in a storm”

4:21 pm May, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Hey Rev! My post ^ was at 4:20 heheheh. Lazy Cakes time

4:24 pm May, 18 Mr. Belvadouche said...

How the fack do i upload a fackin avatar? I suck

4:33 pm May, 18 Duck, duck, douche said...

Where’s the Hale Bopp pudding recipe when you need it most?

4:34 pm May, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. Belvadouche, really? I think you already know how. Just put your lips together and blow.

4:42 pm May, 18 Duck, duck, douche said...

Rawr! Chunky gunt smell pie! Mmmmmm pie

Damn bitch put the Big Mac’s down for a while and put something green in your mouth occasionally and no I am not referring to Mort’s taint either, green as it may be.

4:52 pm May, 18 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr Belvadouche
.
There’s a good tutorial in the forums link in here.
.
One thing I was running into recently was that I couldn’t sign in with my password in the upper left corner there and had to type in my e-mail each time
.
Besides being a pain in the ass I couldn’t do any HTML and shit. Like this:

.
Emesha Gabor at Playboy’s Sexy Wives

.
With a link to a woman that if I was married to her I wouldn’t leave the house or the vortex between her perfect thighs NSFW of course
.
BUT
.
The best advice is to sign into HCWB or WordPress from the search bar at AOL or Yahoo because Windows cocckblocks you somehow.
.
There ya go

5:49 pm May, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

Hey Medusa, don’t blame me, I wrote this one up before the other one was posted. And dammit, his name is Mort.
.
Congrats on the other write-ups guys. Pure genius. You’ve done more than make DB1 proud, you’ve humbled him.

5:51 pm May, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

And I’m not here to criticize woo hotties. Heavens know if they only let us exfoliate them with rare albino phoenix feathers, they would look much better than this. As it stands, they look pretty good for having intimate combat with the ancient netherdaemons of yore.

7:11 pm May, 18 Crucial Head said...

Those comments in the alternate universe sure am strange.

7:31 pm May, 18 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Seems I can’t post in the normal universe any longer. When’s DB1 coming back?
.
I’m more freaked out by that tiny chick on the right. WTF????

7:54 pm May, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

P.U. (parallel universe) Hermit
.
Say it ain’t so, I prefer the ol Hermit who tells it like it is.

8:24 pm May, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Et Tu, I guess me too. P.U. Hermit seems like Hermit on super weed. Utopia is not sucha bad idea though. Maybe PU Hermit and The Machine can make it happen.

9:50 pm May, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Sorry, my eyes turned on me and gouged me instead when they found Waldouche.

11:43 pm May, 18 Arnie said...

What’s up with fat chicks in tiny bikinis with really bad vag tattoos? It’s not hot. (3rd from left blonde/pink hair)

6:05 am May, 19 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Man, I hope I don’t catch eye syphillis from this picture…

7:13 am May, 19 UFO Destroyers said...

When he goes back home and brags to his bros, he’ll say he scored with two perfect tens. Unfortunately, when you add the seven of them up, you might not get to ten when you are sober. Maybe in a dark room with mittens on you could make that claim, but that’s about it.
.
Second from left would be much more attractive if she stopped trying to give her daddy a heart attack.

12:27 pm May, 19 DarkSock said...

@ MC 900 – you just did!
.
Gotta click on the “comments” hyperlink”, not the picture.
.
One of the regs slipped me some advice on a fix for the parallel universe, which I may try if I sober up by Friday. In the meantime, it’s sort of growing on me. It’s like a bonus round or something.

12:29 pm May, 19 DarkSock said...

In the meantime, here’s the patented low-tech DarkSock work-around:
.

2:09 pm
May, 18
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Worst looking group of people ever to appear on the site, especially the dame third from the left. The bleeths in this picture could be used to make the case that burkas should be mandatory in the United States of Vegas.

2:14 pm
May, 18
Bflak said…
Ugh. Those girls are weak sauce. The deliverance theme is playing.
.
2:18 pm
May, 18
baffomet said…
Damn! I’m still searching for some sort of words to use to describe the travesty of this group.

2:34 pm
May, 18
MC 900 Foot Douchebag said…
I’m more freaked out by that tiny chick on the right. WTF????
.
3:28 pm
May, 18
mr.reeve said…
This is the other HCwDB universe Sock and Wedgie are talking about? Weird
.
3:35 pm
May, 18
mr.reeve said…
Is this where Waldouche’s self esteem is hiding?
.
4:11 pm
May, 18
P.U. (parallel universe) Hermit said…
The Machine is a benevolent mechanism who’s only goal is the betterment of mankind. It leaves a trail of flowers and singing birds wherever it goes, spreading love and friendship.
It’s welcoming arms beckon the downtrodden to lie down in green and fertile pastures to take rest in the warmth of it’s gracious comfort.
The Machine brings joy and happiness as it marches toward the ultimate goal of complete and absolute utopia for one and all.
.
And butterflies
.
4:22 pm
May, 18
Crucial Head (P.U.) said…
I am not an architect.
.
I am actually a contractor who drives a boat dubbed “Change Order” and I wear a hardhat made of dolphin cockks and menstrual blood.
.
4:23 pm
May, 18
Crucial Head (P.U.) said…
And I find Mr. White’s avatar strangely attractive…
.
4:24 pm
May, 18
Crucial Head (P.U.) said…
In this universe, FLYTEEATEH is actually Noam Chomsky.
.
4:26 pm
May, 18
Jay Louis said…
I’m gay goddammit!
.
Alright!!
.
Happy now HATTERS?
.
I fucking admit it!!!!!1!!
.
4:27 pm
May, 18
Lämp said…
Ooops.
.
Now I’ve done it.
.
8:45 pm
May, 18
Douchble Helix said…
Yeah, what them other guys said. Except maybe tattoo girl 2nd from the left.
.
8:45 am
May, 19
Boner said…
I am actually a pussy. There I said it!!!

10:13 pm May, 19 Stephanie said...

There’s just too many issues in one photo.

8:21 am May, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Ya know the one on the far right that we’ve all kind of avoided talking about too much? I think her hat has the international symbols for ‘Ladies Room’ and ‘Mens Room’ on it.

Leave a Reply

What is 3 + 3 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)