Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Arnie The Hipster Load is Disinterested and Moody Around Giggle Hannah

Because his band Coldplaydoh, like, totally should have hit by now and, like, wtf, man.

Arnie the Hipster Load is the reason why when I lived in New York I wouldn’t go to Williamsburg even if Bernie Goetz was giving out free George Foremans at a rooftop party hosted by that Squirt TV kid. Wearing a cardigan.

I have no idea what that means.

But I do know that Arnie the Hipsterload’s undeserving success in any sort of proximity to Giggle Hannah is enough to gob smack a crotch with a pimento loaf.

More evidence: Arnie The Hipster Load Makes the Doucheface.

When Giggle Hannah giggles, it’s like a xylophone under a pool full of jello. Her body jiggles and gyrates like so much firm pudding pop suckle thigh it causes northern mocking birds to quit singing car alarm melodies at 2am and go beat up a ferret.

# posted by douchebag1
11:43 am June, 15 DarkSock said...

O I hate HipsterBags. More than any other breed, really.
.
And I like Pornish Hens like Hannah.
.
This is the crux of this website.
.
Mates.

11:48 am June, 15 creature said...

yup…wanna hold him down & shave his neck, face & head with the cerated lid off a tuna can…For Hannah, I’d merely groom her patch, & well yaknow that means…
buster

11:54 am June, 15 creature said...

it would be cool if arnie struggled whilst if coiffed him
jake

11:55 am June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s all hot if she’d stop with the fucking lips. Fucking kids these days. They start of all emo and gay and end up with some face hair and a peacoat and scarf and look like this in their twenties. Reverse Carousel for them I say!
;
;
Fuhrer

11:58 am June, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boss you ain’t been anywhere near Berkeley have you? I believe it is where the hipsterbag was born. Don’t believe me? Look at this. And this. You can’t swing a quark without hitting at least 95 of them. Although come to think of it, my elbows did work pretty well.

11:58 am June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ “Pornish Hens. Hehe.
.
Pornish Hens are best stuffed and then coated in gravy.

11:59 am June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ Luftkommandant.

12:03 pm June, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Beat poetry:
.
Hipster fucknut locked-in stare
I am aware I am aware
Your pseudo-intellect beckons none
Your gnat has flown, you’re time is done

.
Your hip is immeasurable by electron microscopes
You quote things you’ve learned at the website snopes
Your father aghast your mother in tears
You have become the sum of their fears
.
No nine to five man you’re no jobber
A run of the mill live at home slobber
Borrow the van to take in Phish
Giggle Hannah pays the bill as you wish
.
But duckface gerbile-brained asshole twit
We’re on to your scheme , yeah we’ve seen this shit
Douches come and douches go
But the King and The Donk will live on you know
.
You’ll fade like a coke fueled chili fart from the Rev
Fade into obscurity your image is dead
You’ll be gone weakling, into obscurity
Not even make the next “DB of the Weekly”

12:04 pm June, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This fuckhole look like the Jonas brother that never had any talent. Kind of like Billy Carter or the oldest Manning kid. Sure, he could play a mean skinflute while humming the entire Sgt. Pepper’s album off-key but everybody knew they couldn’t put him on stage. He has managed to convince Bleachasaurus Yecks he can get backstage passes but she doesn’t really get the play on words.

12:06 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

After creature shaves this sumbitch, I would like to shove his face in a deep fryer. Balls too. If I ever am caught wearing a scarf, you have permission to hang me with it, han have creature shave my corpse and shove me into a deep fryer.
*
That chick kind of has a head shaped liked the dad from that ’70’s show…



Hombre

12:09 pm June, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The underhand peace sign is particularly vexing.

12:11 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate licking chalkboards.
.
Monsieur.

12:13 pm June, 15 Southern Scrotic said...

He looks more like an emobag to me with the eyeliner and all.

12:14 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I don’t get any of the hand signals, especially any variation of the peace sign. Only thing i can figure is he is trying to air out his fingers after removing them from his ass, ya know, to kill the stank before he shoves them in her ass.

12:15 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate listening to Morning Talk Radio.

12:15 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate when I catch my eyelid on a flagpole.

12:16 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate when I find a dead puppy in my General Tso’s chicken.

12:25 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate waking up still drunk with Glenn Beck naked and sleeping next to me.

12:28 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate when I find a dead manatee in Bea Arthurs second set of labia.

12:30 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate when I have to lick the barnacles off of Carnie Phillips underbelly.

12:33 pm June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate when I have to ring out my condoms and reuse them.

12:41 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate early morning walk of shames.
.
Nephew

12:42 pm June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Second pic reeeally sealed the deal in my undying hatred for this eye-linered Pete Wentzabe. Shed be more attractive if she didn’t use a spackel to put on her make up and refrained from making that fucking face. This douche thinks he’s sad now, wait till I spend an hour with him skull fudging his inner child until it becomes an outer child begging to be put down for a dirt nap. Then he’ll have something to actually cry about. Other than missing that scarf sale at Urban Outfitters and the makeup markdowns at Sephora.
.
.
.
.
Seamen

12:42 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate people telling me how great Phish is.

12:43 pm June, 15 Wedgie said...

Nice manscara. She deserves better. And by better, I mean me.
Fuckk off.

12:44 pm June, 15 Banana Hammock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate the fact that I wasnt using that scarf to choke this prick and use my two fingers to play DJ on her Bleethiness’ second set of labia.
.
kid

12:45 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags, more than I hate Jeremy Jacobs owner in absentia way of running the B’s

12:45 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate oily lederhosen.
.
Sasquatch.

12:46 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate gov’t stats trying to tell me the recession is over.

12:46 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate douches without a single Replacements album in their collection calling them “The Mats”.
.
Babe.

12:47 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate jogging home from my vascectomy.
.
Man.

12:48 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

What’s wrong with oily lederhosen??
.
dummkopf’s

12:50 pm June, 15 Banana Hammock said...

Depends on the oil…

12:50 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate people listing their late 80’s era JVC stereo W/Panasonic Thrusters as “Vintage” on CL.
.
Chumley

12:54 pm June, 15 Banana Hammock said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate tuna can shave chafing….
.
brother bean

12:57 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate cutting my foot on broken glass, stepping on dog shit then developing a nasty infection.

1:02 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I really really really hate hipsterbags. More than I hate people trying to tell me “Legend” by Bob Marley is thee greatest reggae album and then when you ask them what’s their take on “Two Sevens Clash” and they say they never heard of it.
.
.
Dickheads

1:11 pm June, 15 Hermit said...

I really, really hate hipsterbags, more than I hate the fat cunt who after I held a door for her, walked by with an arrogant sneer as if it was my fuckin’ honor to hold the door open for the the diabetic sweat hog.
I’m not expecting a blow job or a Congressional Medal of Honor, but at least grunt an insincere thank you.
.
.
.

.
.
.
Bitch

1:13 pm June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

^I’ve never heard of “Two Sevens Clash” but “Legend” is a good party album.
.
Pisanos

1:16 pm June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I really, really hate hipsterbags, more than being force fed the contents of Cee-Lo Green’s colostomy bag with toothpicks forcing my eyes open to watch Steel Magnolias while hipsterbags talk about how Dave Matthews influenced Bruno Mars while they tap their pipes on my elbow and fixie bikes will replace the Automobile.
.
.
.
Senator

1:20 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Nancy
“Legend” is a good party album.” Ouch!!!

1:21 pm June, 15 Douchio Iglesias said...

Hipsterbag? Oh he’s wearing a scarf, I see… Yeah, that totally makes him a hipster. Let’s ignore the designer jeans, schwoopy hair, and well manicured beard that scream wannabe rockerbag

1:25 pm June, 15 creature said...

I just really hate hipsterbags…
shithead

1:31 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I really, really hate hipsterbags, more than falling ass-first onto a 43′ tall greased spire than starts off as a needle and ends the size of a telephone pole.
.
McGyver.

1:33 pm June, 15 creature said...

Arnie’s not really much of a hipsterbag…more like a preppy fuck affecting hipster traits to get laid cuz poppin’ collarz no longer works
bozo

1:45 pm June, 15 Stephanie said...

One kick in the shins and he’d cry like a little girl.

2:59 pm June, 15 Tanath said...

HAHAHA!! I used to live in Williamsburg…

I never looked like that though…

Ever.

12:14 am June, 16 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

she reminds me of the metal chicks of my youth, he reminds me of the time i blew substantial chunks out of an open and unscreened seventh floor window.

i really really hate hipster bags more than i hate waking up naked in a flop house, smelling of aqua velva, alone, with no clothes, and having to go ask the group of old men huddled around the decrepit tv in the shabby common room if any of them remember how i got there, or where i might find my clothes, and also, trying to figure out who in the room wears aqua velva while trying to be subtle about it.

mack

2:28 pm June, 17 Christina Carabini said...

First day of junior high the realization like the sunlight coming through.. Your grandmother still hasn t bought you a backpack like she said she..

2:59 am June, 18 Christina Carabini said...

What do you mean?.Hannah Its like the ones the Hippies used to wear you know when they went to discos and stuff….Moma smirks.

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