Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Barely Legal Kelly for “Hall of Hott”?

A nomination has been put to the floor by the venerable Douchble Helix to consider Barely Legal Kelly, she of last week’s Promtard and Kelly, for entrance into our Hallowed Hall of Hott.

What say you?

Is this purity of innocent suckle thigh, she of inspiring so many nostalgic dreams for our own fading youthtime and fantasies of teenage dreams, worthy of entrance?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
9:16 am June, 28 DarkSock said...

She looks like a buffed out Nurse Jackie with newer tits.
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so…….that’s a yes.

9:21 am June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

Meh. I’m still pissed tht Evil Bert got dissed. Do what you gotta do though, Its been awhile since someones been inducted into that spank bank, might as well be this chick.

9:22 am June, 28 Mayor McDouche said...

Let me think about this for a min….NO!

9:25 am June, 28 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I gotta vote yes because I would risk a small stretch in the pokey for a pokey in her stretch. Her boobs are defying at least three laws of physics and I want to touch them.

9:28 am June, 28 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

There are beautiful women in the world. Kelly is queen among them. She makes my nether regions quiver with gratitude to her parents for giving her life, those 18 some odd years ago. YES. Oh dear Lord above, YES.

9:28 am June, 28 baffomet said...

Definitely NOT. There’s been a lot better during Darksock’s tenure.

9:30 am June, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Lick, slurp, nibble chew, squeak, tweak, gobble, moan, lappity, tongue-a, tongue-a , stroke, squirt, thank you.
.
And by lick, slurp, nibble chew, squeak, tweak, gobble, moan, lappity, tongue-a, tongue-a , stroke, squirt, thank you I mean, indeedy

9:31 am June, 28 Lumbar said...

Nope. Not even close.

9:34 am June, 28 Bueller said...

Gotta say no way. Definitely not HOH material. Cute…sure. HOH…nah.

There must be higher standards for HOH. Showing a little boob shouldn’t be an auto-HOH.

9:35 am June, 28 Anonymous said...

A definite no. Her face doesn’t do anything for me; her body is fine (although her breasts do not appear to have the same level of tan), but not being a bleeth does not equal Hall worthy.

9:41 am June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Let’s wait until she gets a little older shall we? She could be a chain smoker for all we know and will end up looking like a saddle bag next week.

9:43 am June, 28 jonezy said...

not a fucking chance. her face looks like John Wayne’s buttcheeks and her tits have to communicate by telegraph.
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seriously, i’ve seen that nose some where else before

9:50 am June, 28 hermit android thumbs said...

Blk is a typical evil female viper. Her toxic breasts spew poisonous venom which she squirts at small animals and children causing paralysis and blindness. While hunting moose with Sarah Palin she eats the livers from the freshly killed beast, blood dripping from her vicious lips, while she pleasures herself with a bore brush.
.
.
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B.L.K. For H.O.H.

9:51 am June, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Hott yes, HOH, hell no. A humble suggestion: there have been other HOH callouts over the months. Any time it’s put to the vote, why not, um, lay several hotts out before us on the floor. To vote all over.

9:53 am June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Bueller, are you saying that if she was wearing a turtle neck we wouldn’t be having this master debate? C’mon give the dudes here some more credit. They’re not THAT easily manipulated.

9:53 am June, 28 Wedgie said...

I would say yes if she didn’t have Sean Penn’s nose.
Sorry, honey. That’s what doggie-style is for.

10:04 am June, 28 boone doggle said...

wedgie ftw.

plus walleye boobs are disturbing.

10:08 am June, 28 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

I vote no. While spankable, not HOH worthy. And I have news for you…any broad that wears a dress like that with 75% tit showing is not so innocent. I’d bukkake her nose, though.

10:18 am June, 28 Red Headed Woman said...

No. Yuck.

10:31 am June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The proud delegation from Ontario East cannot put it’s support towards this nomination as it did not pass our litmus test for hott. And by not pass litmus test I mean boner. And by boner equivalency I mean amendment 22 of the Boner Code universality principle which states that. “All else being equal and without inherent criteria for hott qualification, the sacred rules of order defines boner as Princess Leia in slave bikini is the universal standard for hot.” For example. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auQDEeCm9IY. By this I must defer to my 11 year old penis funny feeling and say, fuck nea, she might have a dick.
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Nerds

10:36 am June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh. Carrie Fisher you drunken old boot. The delegation prays for your success with AA and Jenny Craig so you may put that thong on one more time so we may again put the force of our collective 11 year old man sabres back to their scaed task of boning for a far away princess with a big Hut chained to them.
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Mrs. Kroeger staff party on the river tonight. Better start drinking now.
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Desk Jockies

10:44 am June, 28 Anonymous said...

She’s cute, but not HOH material. I might have voted yes were it not for the fact that truly worthy candidate exists on these pages, Emperor Hairohito’s Hott, Stephanie.

Stephanie gives me wood so prolonged that if they could find out the chemical that causes it, it would render Viagra and Cialis obsolete.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/EmperorHairoHeato2.png

10:51 am June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Anon 10:44a, I would have to agree. While I still think Evil Bert deserves some HOH love, Stephanie is definitely hotter than Kelly. But I guess she didn’t show enough boob so shes not taken seriously.

10:55 am June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

All you north-of-the-borderers are a bunch of trannies.
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DB1 phrased it perfectly. This is prime cut.
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But I won’t take it personally.
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CockSuckers.

10:57 am June, 28 YA said...

Aye.

11:09 am June, 28 Anonymous said...

Trannies that can suck their own dicks.

Jealous?

11:09 am June, 28 Anonymous said...

THE EMPEROR’S STEPHANIE FOR THE HOH!!

NOW!!

HIS MAJESTY DEMANDS IT.

Subjects.

11:10 am June, 28 Anonymous said...

WHAT DO WE WANT?
STEPHANIE FOR THE HOH!!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
NOW!!

11:10 am June, 28 Vin Douchal said...

You guys have all come down with the gay.

11:10 am June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douchble Helix, sometimes you just gotta take it on the chin. You know how long I’ve been trying to get Evil Bert into the HOH? Foreeeever. That’s why I copied his pic and made it my screensaver. That way I can look at him anytime I want. You should do the same with BLK here. But maybe crop out the face. Just sayin’.

11:17 am June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

ND – I downloaded that photo many days ago. I can zoom it to my heart’s content, etc.
Yes, one must be philosophical in all popularity contests.
But my comments had nothing to do with Kelly, who is going to win entry to the HoH.
I just felt like letting those guys know how I feel.
Crop out that punim? I’d rather drive down the freeway the wrong way, without a seat belt, at rush hour. Shame on you!

11:18 am June, 28 army (ret) douche said...

i’m going to vote no, i voted against elizabeth’s induction and she was way more derserving than kelly. perhaps my standards are too high…

11:25 am June, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

If you start at the top and stop at her eyes, then maaaaaaybe.

11:26 am June, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Her tits look like she’s on a tilt-a-whirl.
You know when that’s a good look?
When you have great tits and you’re on a tilt-a-whirl.
Otherwise, not good.

11:31 am June, 28 Mr. White said...

Her nose is the same shape and size as mine, and I’m not going to be ‘bating to the female version of me. I say Nay.

11:35 am June, 28 Douche Springsteen said...

my preference for zaftig brunettes aside, I still vote nay. She’s a bit too run-of-the-mill. Towards the upper echelon of run-of-the-mill, yet all the same not HOH material.

11:46 am June, 28 Fatness said...

No. She’s one of hundreds of thousands of other blonde wannabes who populate the checkout stations at Costco and every shopping mall in the nation. Certainly nothing special. Definitely not HoH material. What is the point of the HoH if every 6+ twentysomething is nominated?

11:52 am June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I just took a stroll through HOH. Ya got Sue Ellen’s ‘cum hither’ look, Hourglass’ dark tamaters, and Scrotey Opie’s Dirty Librarian Hott……’Scuse me…
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Sorry. 10 minute, ummm…bathroom break. Anyways you’ve got some hallowed hotts in that hall and ‘MEH’ – BLK does not offer the hot look, hott glasses, hot chest, or hott clothing to sit amoungst our chosen hotts.

11:53 am June, 28 Dan said...

Want to use her jaw to open bottles.

NO

11:54 am June, 28 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Nope. Every time I look at her eyes I think of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Her rack isn’t amazing enough to overcome that unfortunate feature.

11:55 am June, 28 Douche Meter said...

Repeating 8th grade twice explains her going to the prom with this DB and makes her legal–the Douche Meter has her pegged at a 10 and votes her in!

11:57 am June, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

Jail bait she looks older then she is and I believe it’s all downhill from here for her in the looks & gravity department.

12:21 pm June, 28 I R A Darth Aggie said...

She’s got that empty, spaced out (drugs?) look.
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So, yes. Easy chicks are the best!

12:22 pm June, 28 tall guy said...

No, but Promtard for instant Hall of Scrote.

12:23 pm June, 28 Tanath said...

That’s a negative there, DB1…

12:25 pm June, 28 UFO Destroyers said...

The “freshman 40” will not be kind to her. She has plateaued at this point. Until she gets that nose job and boob lift – not saying implants, just a lift – she won’t be worthy. Nothing distinctive about her to set her apart from the crowd except cleave to her navel.
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No HOH, sorry.

12:42 pm June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

You ‘meh’-ed her, ND? That one hurts most of all. I understand all the guys are huge-cans-favorers, but I was certain that you, of all the ‘baghunters, would give her points for:
Virtuousness
Divinity
Naturalness
School spirit
Oh well.
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Landsman.

12:48 pm June, 28 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Nay. Go in peace.

12:51 pm June, 28 FlipFriddle said...

The Hall? No way. She looks like that kids mom.

I’d need some more images for further consideration, son.

12:53 pm June, 28 Anonymous said...

I’m sure she has a nice personality, but HOH no.

1:00 pm June, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

She’s cute but lacks a certain jnsq…and falls short of HoH.

NO

1:09 pm June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douchble Helix, haha! School spirit? Well if showing her cans is school spirit, no wonder I wasn’t voted Prom Queen. She just looks average, sorry. She would make the Hall of Cute if that makes it easier on you. HOH is for the hottest of the hott, the women in there look good no matter what they’re wearing. And of course they all fart chocolate covered fruit.

1:20 pm June, 28 mr.reeve said...

NOPE.com

1:33 pm June, 28 Douchesquire said...

Jesus H Christ with a hockey stick NO

2:01 pm June, 28 ehcuodouche said...

no

2:15 pm June, 28 McLeery said...

Yes; the fact that she has not had nose surgery; and the eyes are nice, gets her just in. And I mean just in as her taste in teen-grieco is abysmal and counts as a huge negative.

2:27 pm June, 28 Crucial Head said...

She’s cute, and I would definitely push my wife in front of a moving flat bed truck to get single and bang the living shit out of her monstrous nostrils…
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… but nay to the HOH

3:04 pm June, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

HOH of requires a portfolio of work in order to be serioiusly considered. And by portfolio I mean multiple boners. And by multiple boners I mean more than one image so’s we know what we’re getting.
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One picture. One vote. One no.

3:11 pm June, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BleethRookie of the Year, Heisman Hott, Best Newcumer, all are possible but it is not fair to compare Kelly to some of the truly great bleeths that have cum before her.
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Just as Mark Fidrych couldn’t get into the Hall of Fame, based on his rookie year – or John Elway, or Bobby Orr or any great in any field – Kelly will have to earn her way in the HOH and compile an body of work that she is certainly capable of doing.

3:13 pm June, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

If RUSH isn’t in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, then this chick is the RUSH of the HOH.

3:33 pm June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If the Minnesota Vikings are not hallowed in the Super Bowl Halls of Pro Football’s Hall of Fame, then this chick is the Minnesota Vikings of the HOH! Right? Or some shit like that.

3:37 pm June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If Megan Fox is not winning an Oscar any time soon, then this chick is the Megan Fox of Oscars. No. Wait. Then this chick is the Oscar of HOH. No, that’s not right… This chick is the Megan Fox of HOH. Oh HELL NO – This chick is the Megan Fox ….

…Just fuccen NO already.

3:46 pm June, 28 Luis Douchuel said...

Nay. Doesn’t cut it.

3:57 pm June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If Pakistan is not a member of the G8 Summit , then this chick is the Pakistan of HOH.
.
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Word.
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.Fuccers.
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C’mon, you were thinkin’ FDD was not the sharpest tack in the box!

4:24 pm June, 28 soy bomb said...

Not sure what the fascination is with this chick. She’s blonde and is wearing a whoreiffic black dress. That’s it. Zero rack and a face that only Rod Stewart looking in a mirror could love. Would I bang her? Good god, yes. Would I cast a vote that could potentially put her in the hallowed halls? That would be a negatory.

4:51 pm June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If “…Eh?” IS at the end of every Canadian’s sentences, then this chick is
” M…Eh?”/ “N…Eh?”
for the HOH.

4:53 pm June, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

@ ND/ 3:12p
Thanx for the inspiration. Your logic is flawless!

5:13 pm June, 28 creature said...

truly I would plaster all her cracks, but, she lacks the look of faux innocence we crave, ya know the ‘we know your not a virgin, but fantasize you are’ quality
…this one looks like she’s been going ATM since her 1st home coming dance
nay on HOH

5:33 pm June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

I know when I’m licked…all over.
.
I guess I didn’t quite understand, until Crucial Head wrote this at 2:27 eastern, and it all became clear:
.
“She’s cute, and I would definitely push my wife in front of a moving flat bed truck to get single and bang the living shit out of her monstrous nostrils…
.
“… but nay to the HOH”
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And what is with all the nose fixations? Which reminds me of another Letter To Penthouse Forum, but that’s for another time.
.
Fellow Students At Large Midwest Universities, Who Never Thought They’d Be Writing A Letter…

5:37 pm June, 28 Obichoad said...

Um NO

5:51 pm June, 28 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Ellen Degeneres look a like for HoH. Nay

6:10 pm June, 28 Anonymous said...

But-her-face prawn masala in the HoH???

The black of white, the white of black, the opposite of yes, the polar diametric from hott, the antimatter to the pouring of a hand shandy with head, the antidote to erogenousity, the paladin of non-promiscuity, a reverse back hander from a Thai lady boy in Bangkoklea???

NONONONONONONONONONO.

6:56 pm June, 28 Tits McGee said...

I’m with Jonezy, Wedgie, Baron, UFO, and Crucial…

Sure she’s got very nice skin tone and a smile that seems to say, “posing for pictures, riding in a rented limousine, dancing to terrible top 40 music for 2 hours sounds good… but when do we get to the real fun? And by ‘fun’ I mean ‘plowing me behind the Sheraton dumpster because I was too wasted on Seabreezes to care where you made the grownup decision not to pull out.'”

Which is cool and all, but…

This is one of the oldest optical illusions in the history of man; the curvature and shadow created by the asymmetrical fall of her dress create just enough attention-pull away from her face. Her beak has more mass than a Catholic Church on Christmas. She should get a nose job and a lift or else she won’t be able to find solace in her meaningless Associates degree in psychology when she tells her parents she’s having Chad’s baby.

No.

6:57 pm June, 28 The Dude said...

If the Four Points Golf Girl isn’t in tha HoH, I ain’t voting for this blonde.
.
Induct 4PGG and I may reconsider.
.
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/09/four-points/
.
Point given. Point taken?

7:39 pm June, 28 Douchble Helix said...

Lemme hypothetically ax yos dis: Does the chick in the 2 red bikini pics get in the HoH?
.
http://www.zimbio.com/Phoebe+Cates/articles/10/Thigh+Week+1982+Phoebe+Cates

8:22 pm June, 28 Guid is Good said...

Nah – although the slutty prom dress deserves an Honourable Mention.

8:29 pm June, 28 Troy Tempest said...

No. The whites of her eyes are white because she’s full up to the ears with jizz.

8:52 pm June, 28 Steve L. said...

Kelly comes across as a bit plastic, but compared to some of the HoH residents, Kelly more than cuts it. so yes on that ground.

8:53 pm June, 28 Steve L. said...

although she IS barely legal. i feel dirty casting my vote.

9:12 pm June, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Douchable H.
.
Phoebe Cates is too hott for entry.
.
Judd

9:15 pm June, 28 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

i’m a yes or no kinda guy, meaning there are two types of women, yes. or no.

so its hard for me to qualify the women i would do, into women i would do more, and she has a sort of all-american waffle house appeal that is timeless, meaning i can see her at 20,40,60 only a bit of age, wear and tear , gravity, and rust on the undercarriage changing the pic.

but no. hall of, double bacon, and a second order of sausage gravy yes. hoh, no.

9:16 pm June, 28 Sergeant Douche said...

I wouldn’t kick her out of bed…but Hall of Hot? Maybe Hall of Cute.

Sorry Kelly, not this time.

9:32 pm June, 28 idfma said...

She is pretty in a plain kind of way–no offense Helix. Don’t get me wrong—she is waaaay out of my league, but as I rest my beer on my oversized stomach and scratch myself, I find it very easy to pick at her flaws, such as the breasts that seem to spread farther apart than should be natural in her upright position, and things like that.
.
Gotta say no.

3:32 am June, 29 Hermit said...

*through tears*
.
She’s a goddess.
.
You’re lucky she even performed for you BASTARDS!
.
.
.
LEAVE KELLY ALONE!

4:50 am June, 29 Colossus of Choads said...

no way.
she looks like Ellen DeGeneres

5:14 am June, 29 Van Doucheland said...

sais no. She’s just a nice girl next door happen to go with a wanna-be douche to the prom. No not at all!
She’s not a HC, rather a NG (Nice girl)

5:39 am June, 29 FoghornLeghorn said...

I like her, but no.

9:53 am June, 29 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

She is the hottest she will ever be in that picture…and her bountiful boobs are the perkiest they shall ever poke — both out of her dress and becomingly towards my aging member — but no, she is not Hall of Hott material.

9:24 am June, 30 Douche the Right Thing... said...

and just say NO! Attractive, yes. Talk to when tipsy? Check. Hall of Hott? No way.

11:02 am June, 30 joey-joe-joe said...

granny boobs, and still well short of sexual maturity. things are layin’ there like an umpire’s worn-out chest protector. it almost looks like she’s wearing an invisible sports bra.

and not even pretending to be having a good time, even though everybody going to prom knows “you don’t gotta dance wit’ what brung ya.”

she gets my vote for “Hall of Nott”

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