Thursday, June 16, 2011
Brad Has Hand Palsy
I don’t mean to make fun of people with hand palsy.
Only that, for our societal sake, and to preserve what good crotchal feelings I have towards Nice Girl Mona right now, I’m going to assume Waspy Brad from the Hamptons has an incurable form of hand palsy.
It’s the only explanation for this oily, privileged drama major shoescrape’s seriously uberdouchal hand configuration.
The only explanation. Until I’ve had some tasty Kona coffee. Then I’ll reconsider.
I seem to be all contradictory this week, but I have to say there’s no way this douche is a drama major. Not enough eyeliner. He’s either a business major (undergrad) or econ. He tells everybody how he’s going to open McDonald’s franchises in war-torn Middle East countries because “they’re all totally capitalistic now, bro.”
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Choadlettes.
When Bill and Ted’s mentally handicapped friend Brad stumbled out of the phone booth he had had secretly stowed away in, he was blinded by the flash of bulbs and loud music.
What was left of his underdeveloped reptilian mind took over and all he could do was stare at the source, mumble, “Dis many?” and produce the best answer he could.
I bet Mona smells like cigarettes, Jack Daniels and kittens fresh out of the dryer…. mmmmmmmm…
Brad appears to have quite a few challenges. Wardrobe and hair being the less obvious. But if you can’t throw up a Westside without looking like you’re missing a few chromosomes you probably shouldn’t do it, This douche makes Corky from “Life Goes On” look like TuPac.
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Pussies
The guy who played Corky was a gifted Method actor whose only mistake was going full retard for the role.
Shirt + chin pubes = Douche.
Having heard stories from her son about the plague that is douchebaggery, John Largemans mother, having to witness it first hand, turns her back in disgust and orders another Gimlet to ease the pain.
^ Pudwacks
Brad Palsy had a pretty good singing career going. What Happened?
Brad Palsy was seen with a gentleman named only “Bettman” lurking around the hipsterbag neighbourhood of Granville in Vancouver shortly after the game. “Bettman” yelled riot and all hell broke loose after Brad’s hand was crushed under the first flipped car.
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Charas
oh, B-rad
@Et Tu, Methinks Mrs. Largeman is carrying one of those Camelbacks under her dress jacket and me thinks one side is filled with Ranch dressing and the other side is filled with Jack Daniel’s. That’s what me thinks.
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Krishnas
I will never understand the “W” hand gesture. I do get the chin pubes- it keeps all the testicles from making direct contact. This guy would be beaten to death with wood from dilapidated playsets from all the repo homes nearby if he came to my neighborhood. And she has a ginormous head that I would like to drag my sack across.
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Gueros
I gotta admit, that is pretty ballsy to still be wearing circa 1995 hair with current day douche shirt.
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Combined with the shit stained chin, dude looks like he could be playing for the Houston Astros in the late 90s.
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BAGwell. ha. how apropos.
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skeeter.
Zdeno Charra to play the starring role of Herman in the big screen remake of the 60s TV Hit show, The Munsters.
Brad could quite possibly be Chelsea Handler’s retarded nephew…
Nancy- they are both full of ranch. She keeps the Jack in a 4 gallon flask behind her 3rd labia on the left side.
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senorita.
Skrate up gaingsta, jeah.
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Wonderbread Slice here is about as hard as a jellyfish dick.
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Il Duce.
Belinda Carlisle’s stepson here is about as hard as a marshmallow butt plug
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Mein Fuhrer.
Macramé Mastah here is about as hard as the entry exam to be a Wal-Mart Greeter.
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el capitan.
@M. Candidate, Mrs. Largemans got more storage than a Chrysler Town and Country Minivan.
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Frito Bandito
B-Rad here is about as hard as scoring against Luongo in this past Stanley Cup
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Nitwits
John Largemans’ mom can drink 10 Gimlets and smoke a pack of Pall Mall’s during happy hour.
Vanilla Wafer here is about as hard as generic trash bag full of Mrs. Largemans liposucted cankle fat.
John Largemans’ mom can chow down a platter of Bloomin’ Onion® chased with a pitcher of Hamm’s beer in the time it takes to wait for her take out order of 2 racks of Baby Back Ribs.
Colonel Lingus here is about as hard as a sock full of whatever rust proofing material that chick colored her hair with.
“Hand Palsy”
Oh my!!! That is the funniest thing I’ve heard in awhile!! Made my day LOL!!!
John Largeman’s mom can suck a tennis ball through a tennis racquet. And than tie it in a know with her tongue.
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vixens.
John Largemans mom, Connie, is well known throughout the greater Fresno area for her Paprikash.
^Mrs. Largeman needs to teach a freakin’ class. Daaaaamn.
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Troubadors
Mrs Largeman buys her pantsuits from a Tent and Awning supply company. Mona’s farts haven’t made a sound on over 16 years, but are occasionally accompanied by a discharge.
*Mothafuckas
*knot, not know… shiite
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Websters
John Largemans mom, Connie, once won a $227 in nickels on a slot machine at the Pechanga Resort & Casino.
Anthony Kiedis and Flea sure took a turn for the douche. I always thought Flea looked better with a shaved head. That wig just makes him look trashy now.
Mrs Largeman has a morning camelback- one side filled with Pancake Batter and Bacon Grease, the other with Karo Syrup. She keeps a carton of Kool’s behind her 2nd labia on the right side. She lights them with the friction from her 1st labia.
All about airflow…
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chunky monkeys.
John Largemans mom’s wig collection is the envy of all her friends at the local bingo hall.
That Winona Judd can sure pull some retarded ass.
Connie Largeman’s belt has a belt.
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Papacitas
I see you there in the background Mom. Could you stop going out to the clubs looking for horny men who will never satisfy you carnal urges long enough to bring back some food? Since you took all the ranch dressing in the camelback there’s been nothing in the fridge for weeks. A child shouldn’t be forced to survive on crack and Nutella-frosted Twinkies forever.
I ran some DNA tests yesterday and found out. *goes off and weeps in the corner*
How ’bout them Bruins Rev Chad?
Stoopid Worpress.
I grew up with a guy with only 8 fingers… we called him “Dr. CLAW” … (go go Gadget Douchewank)
I’m confused. You’re my orphaned son Doc B.? Pretty sure you’re older than me but hey stranger things have happened. And my Camelback is filled with Tang.
@ ND
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I received the DNA sample from a questionable source during a late night, back-alley meeting who claimed it was yours. Then again maybe Rev Ch, er, I mean the anonymous source might be wrong. I’ll check into it more when I can verify the source of the sample.
Pasty Hand Palsy is douchey enough, but “hott” doesn’t make the cut. Maybe if she was slathered with chocolate syrup and whipped cream, served atop a bed of graham crackers. I’ll supply the banana…
@Doc B. Anything you get from a Reverand is gonna be questionable. Also I hate clubs and if I had kids I would probably take care of them. Until they were old enough (I’m thinking 4 years old) to get jobs.
Ah shit. I smell a weekly. This boio’s got douchal aura that gives Samurai Scrote a run for his money. It’s like he bathed his face in vinegar, water, and some gelatin to make it stick.
He looks like a Backstreet Boy gone wrong. Or right. Whatever.
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Captain
Clueless suburban retard,he’s looks like a 14 year that should be home jerking off to porn.
Gotta admit Stephanie, I always come back to read your posts. You NEVER disappoint.
I saw this freak in a carnival once. He was “Lobster Man”. You had to pay a dollar to get in the tent to see him and an extra fifty cents to shake his claw. The D-Bag here is his illegitimate grandson.
Thats my bro Cory, he’s cool not a dbag.
^Go give Cory a Crunk Juice™ enema, Tony Stewart.
Todd was able to speed-fist Cindi’s mom in the 68 seconds she was gone to lady’s room; however he was forced to discreetly wipe his hand and wrist on his prize shirt upon her early return.
yea thats me!!! GOOGLE MY NAME BITCHS!!!! CORY RISENHOOVER!!!! AND actually i had her and three of her girlfriends that same night and spent the next day on a boat chillin…. lmao CALL ME WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!
ARMY RANGER
CORY RISENHOOVER
AKA RE RE!!!!
AKA DOUCHE
^ Hey fuckhole.
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Back in my day we would have eaten you up, shit you out, and then asked for seconds all before you got your lazy ass out of bed. Don’t disgrace one of the best fighting units ever with your being a colossal douche.
One standard for skeptics another for you.SH You continue to confuse the relationship between various explanations on the one hand with the relationship between explanations and the phenomenon they purport to explain on the other hand.Sorry you lack the mental clarity to extricate yourself from this elementary level-confusion even after it s drawn to your attention.SH Comparing one explanation with another or with a set of explanations is different from comparing an explanation or set of explanations with the phenomenon it purports to explain.JC OK. Yet we are told that we should reject the Resurrection because of what the writers of TET say even though all their theories contradict each other and discount all or some of the evidence at hand.Now Christians might disagree on the order of events as they occurred but they do agree on the veracity of the text itself and the Resurrection is the only explanation of the events for which one can make a consistent positive case and account for all the information at hand. Thats absurd on its face.The writers of TET with you as their staunch defender have stated that the allegedly cumulative evidence of not only multiple paths to the same event or rather non-event but different explanations of different events which are contradictory to each other too boot and which exclude or most or at least some of the extant evidence are somehow more credible than the one explanation of the event which happens to be the only one that accounts for all the evidence at hand and is the very thing the text itself explains.So this isnt a case for atheist of merely positing various paths to the same event in your case the non-truth of the Resurrection but of making a positive case for their alternative theories based on the evidence at hand.