Sunday, June 12, 2011

Douche Rap

Yet more from the cottage industry of post-HCwDB douche humor, here’s a mildly amusing rap, even if it beats the joke into the ground like a post-Monolith star ape discovering a bone can be a weapon.

And here’s another one from French Canada.

The Mock spreads in many languages and cultures. And that’s always a good thing.

# posted by douchebag1
7:56 am June, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

All Quebeckers are douchebags. These guys only had to choreograph their gay selves. By Quebeckers I only mean the French, Greek, Italian, Portugese, Caribbean, Spanish, and Orientals of Quebec. OK all the Eastern Europeans are douchebags too. And the girls are tanned strippers, all of them. And the South Americans fit in their too. And Australians.
.
Anthropological Fact. Son.

7:57 am June, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Congressman Weiner ate the Narcissis complex for Passover seder.

8:24 am June, 12 YA said...

This isn’t really rap. It’s some variety of techno

8:39 am June, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

I got through about a minute of that and my ears starting hurting.

9:46 am June, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

Mad rhymes, yo. They’re no Squeezy Jibs though. Squeezy Jibs? Is that his name? Anyway they’re not him.

10:41 am June, 12 soy bomb said...

What would happen if douchebags encountered the Monolith? Would they put down the Bud Light Limes and actually do something with themselves? Or would they evolve into some kind of hideous Super Douche? The mind boggles.

10:46 am June, 12 Hermit said...

I got through about a minute of that, and found myself subconsciously fondling my dog’s rectum and fighting a strong urge to duct tape my scrotum to a parking meter.

11:11 am June, 12 creature said...

french canadiennes mocking db’s…ironic? like jeebus peeing in mule ass

11:26 am June, 12 Petrarchan Motif said...

Not really from Canada, original link is here, Ray Williams Johnson, the =3 guy:
http://youtu.be/Hw1ncADC9KM

11:58 am June, 12 DarkSock said...

Got nuthin’ on Congressman Weiner’s rap group “The Poon-Cockk Taints”…

12:57 pm June, 12 tall guy said...

I’d like to put this guy in a Joy Division tee shirt only he’d probably do Ian Curtis a disservice.

1:13 pm June, 12 Mr. White said...

Yep, I made it in to 1:12, then became very bored and slightly angry. A for effort, F for actual entertainment value.

1:41 pm June, 12 Mehmeh said...

Meh.

This site is entertaining because it funny to laugh at these guys/girls in private but I’m not going out there to make people feel bad about their way of life unless it supported some spread of despotic government. This video is just a tad too polarizing and direct. So some guys like to tan up and get young chicks. Primal stuff. If were going to seek virtues then we should perhaps start by talking about the top-tier banksters robbing the people or sweat shops in China. Otherwise I could focus more on myself unless I was jealous and tried to mask it with my wits.

1:48 pm June, 12 Hermit said...

@ Mehmeh,
.
You think that’s bad?
.
In 1987 Mr White spent ninety days in a juvenile detention facility for shipping cage-free meat loaf across State lines.

1:54 pm June, 12 Mr. White said...

@Hermit
Some say that the stay in juvie so messed me up, that I split into two or more distinct personalities, one of them a violent “protector” type. Crazy stuff, right?

1:55 pm June, 12 Flyteeth said...

@MR FUCCNE$ WHITE
THST SOUNDSS LIKE GRSDE A BULLESHIT TO ME! NO FUCCNET TARMAL AT ALLL!

2:24 pm June, 12 Hermit said...

@ Mr. White,
.
That must be awful.
Since I doubled-up on my thorazine dosage, I haven’t had any such problems.

2:27 pm June, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mehmeh, please start focusing more on yourself starting now. Also since you’re new here it is customary to use a most recent peen pic for your avatar. As you may haved noticed we’ve all been around for awhile and can put up whatever we want now.

@Flyteeth, where you been at, Kid?

2:35 pm June, 12 Crucial Head said...

I am finding it very difficult to focus on myself, or anything within five feet of my periphery on acccount of the half empty bottle of ‘Mark on me desk.

But as soon as I sober up, I’ll be sure to take on those dastardly sweaty bankers taking on the top-tier Chinese shoppers.

3:27 pm June, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

The bankers are pussy’s compared to the Hedgefund managers, and the insidious Blackstone, Bain, & KKR types. Those fuckers wield an exorbitant amount of power and unfortunately influence on the politicians.

3:28 pm June, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Cage free meatloaf is the shit!! son-kid

4:16 pm June, 12 Douche france cher pays de mon enfance said...

I barely understood half of the words of the French canadian vid… and, well, I am French… What they do with the language there is quite horrible. Just for you to know, american people.

4:51 pm June, 12 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@Douche france
Quebecois don’t really speak french, they speak english in a incredibly garbled accent. This is done to make them seem “distinct”. As The good Rev noted, all Quebecois are douche.

5:19 pm June, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Mehmeh
.
Grab a drink. Relax. Sit back and smoke whatever ye find.
.
@French Person
.
Quebecois do not speak french as you have noted. They speak franglish with lots of pluperfect swear words mixed in. Canadian French speak grease and inhale fatty livers, cigarettes, and Labatt 50. They also have a high rate of single mothers, unmarried couples, and fantastic skiiers in fur coats. I won’t get into the rate of STD’s because I love me some heart diseased, garble speaking, chain smoking unmarried single mothers. And most of them take it in the ass if you have good dope and visit areas where the men have fled unemployment and ancient cultural restrictions. Son.

7:31 pm June, 12 DarkSock said...

@ meh meh:
.
You stepped in what?

10:10 pm June, 12 ms. n. thrope said...

I want to stab them in the throat with my hobo knife!

10:58 pm June, 12 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

i think the douchebags have discovered the concept of agent provacatuers. which is slightly less disturbing than discovering the foreigner concept album by that name.

the only logical response a person not inculcated into the douchebag phenomenon could have, on seeing this video, is sympathy for the douchebag.

sympathy for the douchebag, i believe is another concept album by a canadian arena rock group who’s name escapes me.

7:26 am June, 13 Bag Margera said...

I fear the art of mock may be lost on some people.

11:40 am June, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

Ok French Douchebag video had one redeeming moment 20 seconds in. Honestly, I am not here to focus on douchebags. I’m here to focus on suckle boobie thigh heaven, and mock the douchebag away from it.

2:37 pm June, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

French Douchebag irks me. Because these people are far too GTL’d and proficient of facial fung to actually be making fun of douchebags. They are actual douchebags and taking ironic idiotic pride in it. Much like the hipster-hating hipster.
But it is in this new rubric that we must take note of where the chips fall and where people identify. As our culture evolves to incorporate the term douchebag and all the social judgments that encompasses, most people will repeat the term without ever understanding its profundity or meaning. But it is not there where we must place our hopes or become disappointed.
Rather, we must turn our attention to those who do not search for the media spotlight, who glean that understanding that yes, such people are not to be taken seriously as human beings, and there are consequences for associating with them.
Namely, the boobie suckle.

8:50 pm June, 13 Sergent Douchal said...

FUCK RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON, SORRY BUT I DO NOT APPROVE

11:15 pm June, 14 business said...

Ill be back with more posts on Friendship Friendship Poems and Friendship Quotes! Heres a short clip on I get a Kick Out of You Tags ……Posted by.Casey Galatos…at. And in advanced — heres a virtual hug from me Tags ……Posted by.Casey Galatos…at.

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