Wednesday, June 8, 2011

‘Ey! Morty Says “How You Doin?”

Morty doin’ fine!!

# posted by douchebag1
7:19 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I have no problem with Morty trying to save this manatee. More power to him.
>
He has taken this whole Jesus Bling to a whole new level. 3 crosses and a superman, plus it looks like he may have a fedora in hand. A lot of accessorising for a dude whose ass probably looks like 12 pounds of chewed juicy fruit.

7:19 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

I hereby formally request that someone photoshop his sagging mug onto her mammular breastesses.

7:20 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

That Dennis Hopper sure can pull…um…nevermind.

7:21 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

Morton Manowitz: Human Pencil Sharpener.

7:21 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude whose ass looks like 2 pigs fighting over some milk duds.

7:21 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude whose nutsack probably looks like a lollipop that was dropped on a barbershop floor.

7:22 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude who trolls for chicks at the Great American Steak Buffet next to the jazzercise.

7:22 am June, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

Now I’m begiinning to see what all the fuss is about. Morty is one hip silver fox. You know, if you’re into old bloated boozehounds who will give you something shiney if you let him do stuff to you. You’re a Saint Morty. You may smell like old stogies and fumunda cheese but these whores will still hit it. Kudos!

7:23 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A lot of accessorising for Bea Arthur.

7:24 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A lot of accessorising for Dennis Franz. Actually, I bet his fat ass could pull some pretty sweet trim, just on NYPD blue alone.

7:24 am June, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Morty (I’m thinking he’s more a Dom or Stushu) is that old dude, who owns the place and is in there every night sitting at the end of the bar in his usual seat. If your in his inner circle you never have to buy a drink as he insist it’s on him. He always has at a big wad of cash in his pockets and is known to flash it every now and then. The girls who work at the bar are thankful they even have a job. The one “perk” for working there is getting macked on by Morty when he’s had one too many “Imp & Iron’s”

7:31 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Morty needs the cigar to tone down the scent of Roseanne’s underboob.

7:42 am June, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

Morty is carrying some serious baggage under those beady little rat eyes of his. Must be from all the nights he stays up late praying to Jesus to send him some big tittayed women. It worked Morty!

7:44 am June, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

And M. Candidate @ 7:23a FTW, thus far.

7:48 am June, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Pig Tails and big sloppy naturals are alright in my book. I bet she’s very enthusiastic and gives that extra effort in the sack or in the back of that VW Camper Van you used to take to late 80’s west coast Dead shows that is still some how working today and makes the occasional pilgrimage to the local 2-3 hippie music festival.

7:51 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Burningdouche.

7:54 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude whose ass looks like Baron Von Goolo vomitting buttermilk into a ripped pleather ottoman.

7:56 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude whose ass looks like two clear Hefty bags full of chicken skin, teeth and hair.

7:57 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

A lot of accessorising for a dude whose ass looks like Snooki being bludgeoned naked in a veal stall by Regis Philben.
.
.
^What?

7:59 am June, 8 Wedgie said...

The definition of “Hot Chick” has definitely been applied most liberally in this instance.
Son.

8:16 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

^As a counter-point to Wedgie’s assertion above, I would offer the following:
.
Bazongas.
.
Respectfully submitted,
.
D.S., esq.

8:49 am June, 8 Mandouchian Candidate said...

“Snooki being bludgeoned naked in a veal stall by Regis Philben,” would give me the biggest smile the world has ever seen.
>

9:04 am June, 8 Douchble Helix said...

I realize it’s hard to move your eyes away from the car crash that is Morty’s (Dom’s?) face, and this broad’s rack, but look AT ALL THE SHIT ON MORTY’S (DOM’S?) LEFT HAND!!!
.
That’s a ton o’ rings, yo! On his right hand, too! he might be the blingiest white guy in captivity. Blingiest oldbag, hands down.

9:06 am June, 8 Douchble Helix said...

Always glad to talk about Dennis Franz. Anybody remember his 2 roles on Hill Street Blues? Which, btw, is the last drama I watched on TV, except for the Sopranos. Of course, that wasn’t TV, that was HBO.

9:15 am June, 8 Banana Hammock said...

geeeh… those are some enormo lady handles!

9:26 am June, 8 creature said...

be careful Morty, you just might get snatched, beheaded & left in a ditch for your bling as you exit the Caracas whorehouse…the price one pays for banging 3rd world sluts

9:31 am June, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That Archie Bunker sure can pull some…aw fucck it.

9:32 am June, 8 Paul and Jason said...

I love you, man. We were at a RUSH show in the movie. Our movie is best followed up by more weed and the Holy Trinity’s documentary “Beyond the Lighted Stage.” Son.

9:49 am June, 8 MoeDouche said...

Shouldn’t he be hitting on the AARP hotties? Just wondering.

9:55 am June, 8 Mr. White said...

She’s hot in a “syndrome” kind of way. I’m sure Morty would never give his niece the bad touch if she had all her chromosomes.

10:41 am June, 8 schlicht bindenburger said...

mort is gonna slap O tickle the wenches tonight, even if it kills him!

10:44 am June, 8 Joey Bagadouchey said...

He looks the type who’d pull the trigger without hesitation. He’s an evil old git, who’s never said he’s sorry to a bitch, even if he only lasted ten seconds, or had to much Seagram’s to do the deed. Evil, seriously Evil.

11:26 am June, 8 tall guy said...

Yeah, I find Morty just a bit too creepy. I mean, he might view this as his big comeback of sorts. A chance to relive his glory days of youth and commander of all he once surveyed. But those piggy eyes, that bloated, crimson coloured face tell the real Morty story and it’s not quite the bestseller he assumes it to be. Douche back then, douche right now.

1:15 pm June, 8 ehcuodouche said...

You gotta give Morty credit for hitting on the girl with the enormous rack and self-esteem issues. Most of the women his age have two or three gunts and maybe a goiter or two, so a couple steps up.

2:41 pm June, 8 Stephanie said...

Morty realizes he’s about a year from a massive heart attack and his family finds him in the back yard next to the lawn mower,and he’s making damn sure he’s gonna “live it up now”,no matter how stupid he looks.

4:36 pm June, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I do get a kick out of seeing Christmas red and green in early June, not to mention all that bling. He’s a regular Christmas tree.

5:48 pm June, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her eye is trying to get away faster than the rest of her body. That eye has a nose for poo. And by poo I mean douche.

7:25 pm June, 8 P Showard Chunt said...

that is a lot of accessorizing for a guy who had his shoulders joints fused by a guerrilla doctor in guatemalan whore house after the cocaine he muled in turned out to be grits and powdered sugar.

2:56 am June, 9 Collaz B.P. said...

One of his necklaces is a Superman logo.

1:56 am June, 15 IncemiEncancy said...

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