Monday, June 6, 2011

‘Ey! Who Wins at The Game of Life? Thissguy!!

Morty Wins, everybody!!

Morty wins!!

# posted by douchebag1
1:21 pm June, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As Elvira realizes she’s being penetrated from behind by a guy who is packing what can be called “a baggy filled with warm jelly, ” she tries to hold back the onset of the inevitable projectile vomiting.

1:25 pm June, 6 Mandouchian Candidate said...

When these girls decide to work a Vinyl Siding Contractors convention, it is their own damn fault if every guy looks like Wilford Brimley. Judging from Ethnic Hott, Porky forgot his deoderant.

1:27 pm June, 6 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I haven’t seen anything that Tubby, White and well dressed before that wasn’t being thrust repeatedly into Oprah’s poon layers.

1:28 pm June, 6 Mandouchian Candidate said...

“I’m Ron Jeremy’s better looking Uncle, does this feel hard to you?”

1:37 pm June, 6 Vin Douchal said...

I see a little Nedley Mandingo III in this guy….
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1:38 pm June, 6 Vin Douchal said...

In Russia, tacky gold necklaces wear you

1:39 pm June, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

This guy is as close to to a hot as he’s ever been before getting pepper sprayed and he looks bored. WTF. Look like your happy getting some, SON!

1:51 pm June, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

Morty’s a mess!!!

1:56 pm June, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Su Yin almost forgot how much she hates Americans. Just 17 more credits, and she can go back to Nanjing and do something really important with her education: design America destroying super stealth bombers.

2:00 pm June, 6 tall guy said...

I’m surprised he’s not outfitted in typical oldbag wear, the tracksuit. Also, that deadeye glaze evokes sleepless nights over thinking The Silence Of The Lambs.

2:05 pm June, 6 Douchble Helix said...

I don’t see 3 Eyes Of Coitus? Coiti?

2:08 pm June, 6 Fatness said...

I’m more interested in naked ghost chick behind him.

2:34 pm June, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Good to see an oldbag score. And by score, I mean score.

2:35 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

“I’ll take “Feels Like Getting Raped By A Yugo” for $400, Alex…

2:36 pm June, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Life is good in Thailand if ya have a few bucks. Ask David Carradine the pervert. Snatch the pebbles from my mansack, can I buy you a Grasshopper. Son

2:41 pm June, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Get your kids to brush and floss sons. My oldest girl just went to the dentist at 8 for the first time. The money I stole from Satan will not cover the bill. Ima get really drunk and stoned after supper.

2:41 pm June, 6 Wheezer said...

What’s odd to me is that Morty may have more remaining natural hair than does Doggie Style Denise.
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On top, I mean. He damn well better have more elsewhere than she does, too.
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Meanwhile, Yoko decides that she’s had enough of America and will be taking the red-eye back to Kyoto tonight.

2:58 pm June, 6 douche bagel said...

ten bucks says this guy had a heart attack and hit the floor right after this pic was taken

3:07 pm June, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Morty had no reservations about that kimchi, prune, hard chocolate sandwich washed down with a “33” beer before he noticed the unfortunate side effect of the Cialis + Viagra eight ball he shot directly into “Mr. Happy” resulting in excessive flatulence.

3:10 pm June, 6 Vin Douchal said...

That’s the guy right there that peed in my butt!
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3:22 pm June, 6 Hermit said...

Rev 2:41,
We’re hoping for a full report between your third and fourth spliff.

3:25 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

@ Vin:
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That’s why you stuff the animal’s legs down your boot legs.

3:26 pm June, 6 Collaz B. P. said...

Morty looks like a cartoon, something off SouthPark.

I like how the horse decks this guy after getting peed in.

3:30 pm June, 6 Hermit said...

That fucker’s head must really hurt, especially after the ninth or tenth time.

3:35 pm June, 6 Hermit said...

Iit’s best to face the sheep or goat at the edge of the hayloft, that way she keeps backing into you, and therefore seems more willing.
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So, I’ve heard.

3:38 pm June, 6 creature said...

some things are still OK in Mississippi….son

3:42 pm June, 6 Wedgie said...

Morty commits an unforgivable party foul: one finger with no ring on it.
Get out.

3:43 pm June, 6 creature said...

“When do I get the Lexus, Grandpa?”

3:45 pm June, 6 Wedgie said...

Is ghost-chick’s nose impaled on Morty’s thumb?

3:50 pm June, 6 creature said...

“I’m gonna lay a yulelog in Santa’s lap”
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should really be a caption this pick

3:52 pm June, 6 creature said...

“this makes granny feel like a bucket of sand”

3:54 pm June, 6 dbBen said...

This looks like a scene from “Taken 3: Philadelphia” starring Jean Claude Van Damme.
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“They’re going to take you.”

4:03 pm June, 6 creature said...

“if you unclench, honey, I might be able to pee”

4:27 pm June, 6 schlicht bindenburger said...

morty wakes the next morning smelling of vomit, booze,stale hoi sin and old ports.

7:03 pm June, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Morty owns the place. These women are professionals. Do not attempt this at home. Morty’s B.O. smells like chicken soup.

7:55 pm June, 6 Stephanie said...

I don’t think Morty’s doing her from behind,I think he’s just getting out of his seat and going for seconds at the all you can eat Christian church dinner.

8:18 pm June, 6 Douche Springsteen said...

if I live to be this old I hope I’m just sitting around embarrassing my grandkids by asking them to pull my finger instead of doing things like this in places where people have cameras and embarrassing myself.

it used to be, when morty told the story of how jerry garcia once acknowledged him from the stage that hot august night in madison sq garden, his skilled pantomime, and vivid detail, could almost make your senses transport to that time and place.

now, with girls who only know jerry as the guy from the ice cream flavor, only the smell remains the same.

9:09 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

I agree with Creature…captioning gold…

9:11 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Moray stumps Tess during a round of “Is this stubby object my cockk or one o’ my freakishly foreshortened arms?”

9:12 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

Everyone’s a winner in The Special Old Limp Dicks.
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Think about it…

9:14 pm June, 6 DarkSock said...

“God bless you, Make A Doodie Foundation!”

11:03 pm June, 6 Denny said...

Thats gonna be me in 30 years! but hopefully less fat!

2:27 am June, 7 my friends call me @$$hole said...

i almost want to give this wrinkled old scrote a notta’ but he so obviously IS one… just can’t bring myself to hate on him, her’es to you uncle Morty for putting the gold in the golden years and squandering the family inheiritance on booze and skanks, you lucky old teabag…

7:03 am June, 7 Anonymous said...

I love Morty!!

9:42 am June, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

I think Morty needs to at least to add two more cross necklaces to add to his already abundant Jesus bling collection to really keep me away from organized religion forever. Thank you Morty!

10:00 am June, 7 creature said...

“TOUCHDOWN!”

10:06 am June, 7 creature said...

“Winniing!”

10:07 am June, 7 creature said...

“this is how we used to do it on the USS Missouri”

10:08 am June, 7 creature said...

“Really, I take my grandaughters tempeture like this all the time”

10:09 am June, 7 creature said...

“if you squeeze real hard, I’ll have an anuerism”

10:10 am June, 7 creature said...

“if you pull all the wrinkles out of my ball sac, you can wear it as a sarong”

10:11 am June, 7 creature said...

“you have to fart for me to get hard”

10:12 am June, 7 creature said...

“ever wonder what it feels like to be a hood ornament?”

11:47 am June, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

A stunning resemblance to the Ex-Mr. Oblongata. And I am being totally serious.
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I drank a lot when I was young.
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A LOT. OKAY?

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