Friday, June 10, 2011

Mr. Hawk Does Not Deserve This

In some weird alternate universe of inverted quark spin, a place where Tom Wolfe inspired Masters of the Universe asswipes dominate the financial industries while sporting giant greasy mohawks, Mr. Hawk scores Hottie Heather.

And the space/time continuum collapses into a singularity of suck.

# posted by douchebag1
9:29 am June, 10 blargh said...

first. son.

9:33 am June, 10 Vin Douchal said...

We’ve seen this delicious morsel before…… or maybe I’ve seen her before….. I watch too much internet porn….. at least it’s free

9:35 am June, 10 jonezy said...

as Col. Kurtz would say…
.
“the Horror!”

9:36 am June, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Electric Kool Aid Spastic Test

9:37 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

This chick has one of those perma-glaze smiles, so no matter what creeps up next to her and spits in her face, she will have that same expression. Cuz ya gots to look hot for the interwebz….

9:37 am June, 10 Vin Douchal said...

The Pump Ass Gang

9:40 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Mr Hawk deserves to be drug by that tie through about 10 yards of broken glass and dropped in a pool of rubbing alcohol.

9:41 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Her mamms beckon me, her choice of suitor sickens me.

9:42 am June, 10 tall guy said...

Is he cracking a fat? I mean, baring up? You know, getting a woody?

9:46 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Douche needs to loosen up the tie. Its about to chock his collar into a full on popped position. She’d be a great at kissing booth. I would pay her minimum wage but she wouldn’t have to split the tips. Becaused that would be painful for the customers.

9:48 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Radical Shit – T. Wolfe

9:48 am June, 10 creature said...

I can read her mind…”…no way his penis ever enters my vag” …trust me I’ve picked up this vibe before

9:48 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Mau-Mauing the Yak Catchers – T. Wolfe

9:49 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The Kandy-Colored Tangerine Flake Streamline Douchebag – T. Wolfe

9:49 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The Wrong Stuff – T. Wolfe

9:50 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douchble Helix, Teen Wolfe?

9:50 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

I don’t think the Wall Street thieves put with that kind of shit. Image is everything, ya know?

9:52 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Yes, Jason Bateman, one. Of course.

9:52 am June, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Wolfe’s much anticipated new novel “Back to Blood” due out in early 2012 earned him a $7 million advance.
.
Time to get to work on a sequel, Db1

9:54 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The Pumpy House Gang – T. Wolfe

9:55 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’m pretty sure this pic was taken right before these two did it. Damn that stings.

9:55 am June, 10 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Just plain not fair.

9:55 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

From Bauhaus to Frat House – T. Wolfe

9:57 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Mauve Complexion and Madmen, Clutter and Vine

9:57 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Mauve Complexion and Madmen, Clutter and Vine – T. Wolfe

9:58 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

2011- 2010: The “Me” Decade Part Deux – T. Wolfe

9:59 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Masters of the Universe? Like He-Man? Um DB1, I’m pretty sure He-Man lived in prehisterical times with the dinosaurs and had nothing to do with Wall Street. Take a history lesson before you start spewing off nonsense. Sheesh.

10:00 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The Purple Douchebags-A Reader – T. Wolfe

10:01 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Don’t you remember He Man warning the British that they weren’t gonna take our bells, you betcha, …

10:05 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@D. Helix, That was He-Man too? Damn. The power of Greyskull is stong with that dude.

10:13 am June, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Oh, wait. Maybe that was Conan?

10:14 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

The only way Tommy here is on wall street is if she is a shoeshine boy for one of the big brokerages who buy and sell people like him and turn them into organ donors.

10:15 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

he, not she. Or whatever it is.

10:22 am June, 10 creature said...

M Candidate, he hands out hand towels & sells shitty aftershave from a stool

10:23 am June, 10 creature said...

he’s hoping to move up to elevator operator…access to better tips to sell Gordon Gecko

10:33 am June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Claude, no it isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. But hey, at least you can get alcohol to love you. So, you’ve got that going for you. Sweet sweet alcohol.

10:46 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Creature- he is the towell…

10:51 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Battleship Douche.

10:51 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Spurt Locker.

10:51 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A Beautiful Hind.

10:52 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Zaphod’s Beeble Box.

10:53 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Fauxhawk Down

10:53 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A Hawkhiker’s Guide To The Ex-Lax.

10:54 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Electric Koolaid Morning After Test

10:54 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Taintanic

10:54 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bonfire of the Fannies

10:54 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Good Morning Vietnam- oops

10:55 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wall Street: Guid Never Sleeps
.
I like that one. Son.

10:55 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

A midsummer nights assraping

10:56 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Empire State Building Strikes Back

10:56 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Nice! Guid Never Sleeps FTW Rev

10:57 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Star Wars: Episodes 6. Return of the Boodi.

10:57 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

11:00 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Michael Milken and the Super Groovy Junkbonds Summer

11:00 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Weekend at Bernie Madoff’s?

11:02 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Reverend Chad’s New Mortgage Fund Backed by Christian Investors- No SSN Required

11:03 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I better get back to work. That was fun.

11:04 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She was choice beef before that infection popped up. Son.

11:19 am June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

She was Kobe before the spread of the crotch cholera.

11:29 am June, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@The Rev…how could you miss: A Douche In Full?
.
.
.Work’s a bitch ain’t it?
.
.
.
.Or should that’ve been “taint it?”
.
.
As in Heather’s taint….and don’t tell the ole Choad you wouldn’t look if you had the chance?

11:52 am June, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I gotta stop working on Friday’s…I miss too much. I hate being the 61st comment…What could I possibly add???

11:53 am June, 10 DarkSock said...

Todd would eventually spend $240 that night doing Goiter Shots off of Tammy’s swollen neck pustule.

11:55 am June, 10 DarkSock said...

After 20 minutes of determined nipping, Todd finally clicked his teeth onto Tammi’s wolf worm neck infection and pulled the little writhing beast out with a *pop*.
4t34

11:56 am June, 10 DarkSock said...

See, DouchyWallnuts? It’s easy!

12:09 pm June, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

You are a madman DarkSock; bringing the good shit at #62, an inspiration to all of us who have jobs that sometimes interfere with our HCWDB’ing.

12:11 pm June, 10 jonezy said...

Db1 is going to link to that pic for today’s Ass Pear to spite you DSock.
.
It does not appear that you’ve peed in that though…

12:17 pm June, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DarkSock 11:55a, you can’t post Wookie vag pics. You’re gonna get in trouble.

12:28 pm June, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Dark Sock you are a sick fuc…I don’t want to see Brittany Spears privates…

12:37 pm June, 10 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

“Deserve’s got nothin to do with it.”

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