Monday, June 13, 2011

Pop Quiz: Identify the Beachtatt Pud

Using only the thigh tatts of this hovering Beachtatt Pud about to offer the lady a Bud Light Lime, name that ‘Bag:

A. Greased up alternate emo Punker Choadmuscle

B. Classic Jersey fist pumper raisin flushstain

C. Bartender facially funged Scottsdale orange tanned backwash

D. Diaper wearing bald glasses wearing hipster nerdbag

Click here for the answer

# posted by douchebag1
11:34 am June, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh snap! I got it right!
Oh, and first!

11:36 am June, 13 schlicht bindenburger said...

maaaammma, waaaaa, mmaaaama!

11:42 am June, 13 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I think some tattoo artists have the responsibility, nay the AUTHORITY, to make decisions based on the overall artistic or individual value of their art. In this case, a shitty idea for a tattoo on a shitty idea for a white male should have resulted in a cash-upfront-beatdown-left hipster nerdbag in a dumpster with his skin on fire. Fuckin’ sellout…

11:44 am June, 13 skrag2112 said...

Fuckin Buddahbag!

11:46 am June, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Where did this guy get that beach towel? Looks like a police sketch of a douchebag. And if one my kids ever gets a tattoo of Mom inside of a heart on any part of their body so help me they will never hear the end of it. You know what I do when I want to give my Mom props for being such a badass, I take her to Arby’s and then for fro-yo at the Sizzler. You know what I do when I want to tell my Dad he’s the tops, I don’t kick the shit outta my brother and I help him move something stupid that in a week he has me help him move it back to the original spot.

11:51 am June, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I think it’s great that Mom and Dad know which side of the three way tag-team is theirs. Otherwise it just gets weird.

11:51 am June, 13 Douchble Helix said...

DB1, you’re shooting fish in a barrel with this ‘bag. Great stuff from the regs, esp. Nancy.

11:56 am June, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have now found the look I was searching for to attend next month’s high school reunion. Thank you Diaper wearing bald glasses wearing hipster nerdbag.
.
And it is no ones business if I happen to like My Little Pony. I have a three year old daughter for fuck’s sake. Son. At least that’s my story for now.

12:00 pm June, 13 creature said...

no hott…they are perfect for each other…insecure hipsterbags need some tunnellovin’ too

12:01 pm June, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nerdbag looks so frail he may be beaten down by a lame ferret and a greasy breakfast.

12:02 pm June, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nerdbag looks so frail he runs the 100m in disqualified.

12:04 pm June, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nerdbag looks so frail he runs the triathlon with a training wheels.

12:09 pm June, 13 Wedgie said...

DB1:

You need to go back to med school and re-take anatomy,
Thighmaster Flash.

Best Regards,

Dr. Wedgie, ObGyn

12:10 pm June, 13 Wedgie said...

PS:
I also have those tatts, only mine say “Up” & “Yours”.

12:11 pm June, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

That towel looks like a child’s crayon drawing of Freddie Mercury on a pink background. Maybe it’s part of the Poorly Drawn Gay Legends of Rock collection? Maybe Elton John is on the flip side. And by flip side, I mean the bottom.
.
Lamest. Beach. Ever.

12:15 pm June, 13 Southern Scrotic said...

isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

12:16 pm June, 13 Southern Scrotic said...

Nice that he suntans with his mom.

12:23 pm June, 13 DarkSock said...

Pfah?

12:27 pm June, 13 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Looks like a wanna-be (david cross) mister show. With that towell and his layout positioning, his taint should be right on Freddy Mercury’s chin. Like that’s never happened before… Also in that beach towell series would be George Michael assaulting himself in a public bathroom with a plunger handle, Rob Halford having a sword fight in his mouth, and Pete Townshend naked on a pile of little boys… Great stuff…

12:29 pm June, 13 creature said...

DarkSock…dead on!

12:35 pm June, 13 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Nerdbag looks so frail that he has to railroad spike his shoes to the earth when he flys his elton john kite.

12:36 pm June, 13 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Nerdbag looks so frail that he wasn’t allowed to audition for Black Swan.

12:37 pm June, 13 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Nerdbag looks so frail, his boyfriend uses him like a post hole digger.

12:37 pm June, 13 tall guy said...

I chose the correct answer and I never win at anything. Where’s my prize? Don’t I get a bun and a cup of tea or something? That towel… Kill me now!

12:38 pm June, 13 Anonymous said...

Those are not thighs.

12:43 pm June, 13 Vin Douchal said...

And to top off the shitty calf tatts, he’s got an unfinished Jesus in hockey goalie gear with his arms up celebrating a goal on his forearm.
.
What’s up with that, cool cat?

12:49 pm June, 13 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I have bigger swizzle sticks in my kitchen cabinets.

12:51 pm June, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

I like how the chick in both pics is paying him no attention. I also noticed that in 2nd pic he has a pair of Sperry Top Siders knockoffs at the top of his towel. Those were kinda cool, depending which crowd you hung out with, in Massachusetts back in the late 70’s. Now all the hipster’s are wearing themas a fashion statement.

12:53 pm June, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Yo Kid I bet that chick is all sorts of enthusiastic, extra effort giving, sure that sounds fun, dirty in the bedroom or on that 10 year old living room futon.

12:59 pm June, 13 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

the odd part is that he has “step-dad” tattooed on his “third leg”

1:20 pm June, 13 Southern Scrotic said...

That second photo should be titled “1 guy 1 cup”.

1:45 pm June, 13 Anonymous said...

Actually, the towel has a hole in it. Face up, it’s at the mouth so Hippstershittatbag can 69 Freddy Mercury.
When he turns the towel over, he can have anal sex with Freddy. It’s interactive toweling at its finest.

2:03 pm June, 13 Tanath said...

Dbag? More like D&D bag…surprised he could pull away from his local game/comic book store long enough to have this pic taken…

3:23 pm June, 13 Anonymous said...

Wasn’t it Eminem years ago, who told Moby “you’re too old, let go, it’s over?”

FinderTweet

5:34 pm June, 13 Douche ex Machina said...

Not to be pedantic, but I believe those are calves we’re being subjected to, not thighs. Just sayin’

5:38 pm June, 13 Douchio Iglesias said...

His tattoos are stupid and he has horrible taste in swimwear, but I’d hardly call him a Dbag.

6:12 pm June, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

I think “Mom” and “Dad” would tell him not to taunt that beached whale there.

6:18 pm June, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

OHHHHH THAT WAS SO WRONG She’s really a Manatee.

8:38 pm June, 13 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Wait, I’m bald with glasses, does this mean I’m a Dbag now?-



Ah, crap…

10:26 pm June, 13 DarkSock said...

apropos of nothing, I’m chowin’ down on some fine boudin and a glass of south MS moonshine right now under a nearly full moon; it’s midnight and it’s 84 fucking degress, 90% humidity. Why is the food exponentially better the less livable a climate is?

7:18 pm June, 14 Stephanie said...

That beach towel really bothers me.

12:24 am June, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Not sure what kinda woman wants to fuck with a guy whose calves are tatted with adorations of Mom and Dad, but he obviously believes in their adoring support of his endeavours while he pumps away.
Totally and unequivacally one of the worst douchebags I’ve seen yet. Like a new category: dumb-shit douche. Or as the Germans proffer, dumb-kopf douche.

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