Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Pop Quiz: Oily Bohunks and Ass Pear

Pop Quiz:

Q: What’s worse than seeing a smug and unappreciative oily bohunk surrounded by a sea of chompable pear?

A. The Holocaust

B. The Khmer Rouge

C. Years 5-12 of The Black Death

D. Marathon episodes of back-to-back “According to Jim,” Ludovico style

E. Nothing

# posted by douchebag1
11:36 am June, 21 creature said...

F) playing circus seal to said pear after an Olestra chugging contest

11:40 am June, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

After Manos & his “Real Doll” girlfriend, the copious amount of pear is much appreciated on this steamy hot first day of Summer.

11:41 am June, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmm!!!!! copious amounts of pear.

11:48 am June, 21 DarkSock said...

G) Finding out one of your main Broheims watches “The Bachelorette”.

11:52 am June, 21 Douche Springsteen said...

I call dibs on the 2nd pear from the left. I’m willing to fight you bastards for that.

11:52 am June, 21 Anonymous said...

BLACK TANGA FTW!!

11:53 am June, 21 DarkSock said...

H.) Front-row seats at the first annual Olestra-Chip Eating/100 yard sprint bi-athlon.

11:53 am June, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

F) Find out exactly what you had for dinner after visiting the Baron Von Goolo residence right after Halloween.

11:53 am June, 21 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Tuesday Pear?
Dark Sock must have over thrown the king…
I approve of this Ass Pear.

11:55 am June, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

G) Realizing that you only THOUGHT you had escaped the playpen.

11:55 am June, 21 Wheezer said...

H) The fact that I’m not the one “stuck” in the middle of that orchard of pear.
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Bambino.

11:56 am June, 21 Bag Margera said...

I have to go with E. Nothing is worse. There is at least a lesson to be learned from the other tragedies, but there is no moral to this rich dickhead’s story.

11:57 am June, 21 DarkSock said...

I.) Receiving judgment cast down uponst you by The Six Brown Eyes Of…JUSTICE.

11:58 am June, 21 DarkSock said...

J.) Suddenly realizing gay plaid shorts render you inexplicably impotent at the worst possible time.

11:59 am June, 21 DarkSock said...

K.) Professing in a public forum that you would in fact like to make passionate sweet love to Black Thong’s butt hole.

12:00 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

L.) Dropping to your knees with a massive coronary just as you reach total enlightenment and realize you’re coming back as Girl Shit.
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^…what? No, I didn’t get that one either.

12:01 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

M.) Having all the girls you’re mackin’ on simultaneously turn and swoon when K. D. Lang walks onto the pool deck.

12:03 pm June, 21 Anonymous said...

M.) Making passionate sweet love to Black Thongs Butthole only to realize that the man before you peed into it.

12:04 pm June, 21 The Scrotewank Redemption said...

N) Finding half a smug and unappreciative oily bohunk in your chompable pear.

12:06 pm June, 21 Ted Brogan said...

I think we all know why he’s not interested.

Oh, and happy gap for the win!

12:12 pm June, 21 Dildo Saggins said...

O) Getting a sext from DarkSock.

12:40 pm June, 21 creature said...

XX) getting double calf cramps at the fava bean eating festival

12:44 pm June, 21 Mandouchian Candidate said...

2nd from the right has that perfect Ace of Spades gap that is rarely seeni n the wild. how this guy can just sit there and pose twixt this awesome gathering of rosebud is beyond me. I would be laying on my back, tongue out, and have like 6 circus midgets with hand lights guiding them in like air traffic controllers. Hopefully, none of the afforementioned olestra, poo cocktail, or piss cocktail events would occur. Or there will be some stabbings.
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Fanny Bandits

12:44 pm June, 21 Mr. White said...

P). Drunkenly driving your Porsche 100 mph into a tree like some kind of jackass?
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What, too soon for bad puns?

12:48 pm June, 21 massengill said...

R) Walking in to your roomate whacking it to an episode of “Davey & Goliath?”

12:49 pm June, 21 massengill said...

Q) This

12:49 pm June, 21 Boner said...

I will print this picture out and this pud’s image with my boner. That works for me in so many ways. Like spitten after I am stroked vigorously.

12:49 pm June, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

Q. Realizing that every one of these glorious specimens is dippy enough and possessed of so little self-esteem, that she will gladly pose for the benefit of such a lamefuck dude. Were my ass so tight and nomable, I would only pose with a gaggle of hotties in the confines of the Playpen, the only thing between us all a large tub of Wesson oil.

12:51 pm June, 21 shawk said...

Anesthesia free prostate surgery on a roller coaster using a rusty and jagged lid from a can of jalapeño peppers and performed by a doctor with Parkinson’s disease and leprosy.

12:59 pm June, 21 creature said...

we have a winnah!

1:06 pm June, 21 Phil said...

shawk….. +not covered by insurance.

1:15 pm June, 21 Hermit said...

F. Finding a homeless family in the grill of your car after a night of drinking.

1:22 pm June, 21 Mandouchian Candidate said...

G. Finding Britney Spears’s’s’s Bologna Ring in your mouth after a night of drinking.

1:23 pm June, 21 Mandouchian Candidate said...

H. Waking up in the same country as Amy Winehouse after a long night of drinking.

1:23 pm June, 21 mr.reeve said...

I just see glorious pear and a piece of poo. No douche here.

1:25 pm June, 21 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I. Waking up in betweeen Ke$ha and Gaga- no condom, no lube, and no idea why your asshole is bleeding.

1:26 pm June, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

The Pearcolypse is upon us. I study Asstronomy so I know I’m right. Give me money and you will be saved.

1:28 pm June, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

XXX…Discovering you’re a mere li’l pink strawberry in a fruit bowl of pear…

1:50 pm June, 21 Stephanie said...

I wish these girls would just let out a collective group fart right at the same moment. Chick power!

1:57 pm June, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Stephanie, chick power indeed, girlfriend. Chick power indeed.

2:06 pm June, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

How about explosive diarrhea on a transatlantic flight?

2:10 pm June, 21 Hermit said...

F. Reaching up under your date’s dress to find a venomous serpent, a half bottle of diet Snapple<sup® and a bag of writhing earthworms.

2:22 pm June, 21 I R A Darth Aggie said...

My head just exploded. That fuckin’ hurt. Thanks, boss.

2:30 pm June, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

XX. Realizing you are the family on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and you didn’t apply.

2:31 pm June, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

YYZ. Realizing that Ty Pennington is actually a man.

2:34 pm June, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Signus X1. Realizing that the whole solstice festival was part of an elaborate waking dream. Hope the kids aren’t in the pool.
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Druids

2:35 pm June, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Realizing that you are the hard piece stuck in Cee-Lo Green’s rectum when he recorder that Fuck Off song.
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My Niggas

2:36 pm June, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Those are some quality tails..
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Haters

3:19 pm June, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

CIA) Waking up, surrounded by these ass pears, seeing them from the front.

4:20 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

R.) Being at the wrong place at the wrong time in the 2014 US Olympic Synchronized Pooping Team’s training camp.

4:28 pm June, 21 creature said...

lamenting the fact that you decided against the yardstick tatt on your forearm

6:43 pm June, 21 Guid is Good said...

You know he’s gay right?

7:08 pm June, 21 Douchble Helix said...

Do yourselves a favor. Download that photo. Then zoom it *real* big. Them tails stand up to the scrutiny. No cottage cheese, no bite marks. Nice.

8:04 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

What’s wrong with bite marks? You racist against lamprey or sumthin’?
qwete4we

8:17 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

^That is, of course, a photograph of Baron Von Goolo’s cockk.
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Don’t ask me how Nancy got it.
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Lettermen.

8:20 pm June, 21 DarkSock said...

And sure, while Black Thong on the middle in the right is getting well-deserved recognition….allow me to direct your eye to the middle bubble-butt on the left….
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She just gravied the biscuit that resides in my pants.
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I would eat a Quizno’s out of her ass.
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Fletch.

9:03 pm June, 21 Mr. Biggs said...

E. At least with the others there’s hope for the future.

Man, you wanna impress me, have them surround you and rub their butts on your face like some reverse maypole dance. Because right now I’m just thinking you’re not into this sort of thing. WTF.

9:47 am June, 22 creature said...

all at once, as if syncronized, a symphony of BLAAAART rang out, causing Timmy to collapse & wilt on the turf

10:31 pm June, 22 Steve L. said...

the Khmer Rouge really was as weird as it was brutal.

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