Thursday, June 23, 2011

Real World Rockerdouche Tommy Mugs Your Ex-Girlfriend Kaitlyn

Hard to top last night’s Moley Mole thread, so lets start off this Thursday with some odious Real World Rockerdouche.

You know the type.

Not inflatable. Nor cartoonish.

Real world douchebaggery.

Looks almost normal from a distance.

Then you get close and count the douchetributes: Jesus Bling, Stupid Tatts, wristdanna, Iron Cross belt buckle and three finger rings.

And our shared upchuck factor responds to the mugging our collective ex-girlfriend, Kaitlyn, during 2-for-1 at the Oyster Fry Shack Summer Solstice Party.

# posted by douchebag1
7:02 am June, 23 creature said...

yup, he’s a tall tepid drink of sewage swill…got jury duty today & please Jeebus please give me a case where they charge this shiite with loitering around a construction sight andy fump…cuz I could single handedly send him to eternal damnation!
son

7:20 am June, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Lots o’ nice curves this week, Boss. That hiatus done you good.

7:34 am June, 23 Phil said...

he’s so douchey, the camera refuses to focus on him

7:36 am June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Her curves are lovely. His style is shitty. When you hit a certain age and you are only getting heard on karaoke nights; time to fold up shop.

7:43 am June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

probably taken outside a Nickelback T-shirt concession stand. “Places finger and thumb in shape of an L on forehead.”

7:46 am June, 23 Mr. White said...

I’ve always wanted to get Chutes and Ladders tatted on my arm.

7:50 am June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

some of the worst tatts i have ever seen. Biggest douchecoutrement of all time is the wool cap in non-winter months as a manhole cover over a sewer of male patern baldness…

7:58 am June, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

Is that two Cheeto rifles on his arm? And if I’m not mistaken his shirt has a printed on rosary. That’s all the evidence I need to tag this bag.

8:07 am June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Nancy- he has 2 tickets to the gun show…



big shooter

8:07 am June, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Fliam Neeson sure can pull some brunette skank.
.
Sidenote: Never mix two grams of superweed with two bottles of Crown Royal. It gets real chunky and has an unpleasant afterweek.
.
.
Posers

8:10 am June, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like girls with pointy chins. They rub gingerly against the chewy center of you ballsack when applied with a rusty trombone. Did you find a direction sign on the straight and narrow highway?
.
Forrest

8:29 am June, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Further proof that douches have completely given up even attempting to plan out what tatts they get on their bodies. Those crossed guns look like something an 8 year old would draw. The term “tattoo artist” is officially dead.

Throw these two in the weekly, have a good shot at winning (losing). She’s pretty damn hot and tasty.

8:39 am June, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

I bet he works at Guitar Center. The worst guys in the world work at Guitar Center. I’d love to find out what bar this guy’s shitty band plays at and go hit on Kaitlyn while he is onstage “livin’ the dream”.
This guy is the embodiment of a Drive-By Truckers lyric that goes “rock & roll means well but it can’t help telling young boys lies”. Some of us are smart enough not to believe it, though. Tommy was not.

9:07 am June, 23 creature said...

jury selection proccess is a joke…you show up to be sent home…no db’s to damn to a high pressure steam wash, however Lindsay Lohan papparrazi hysteria in full force
…guess, I dodged a bullet…let’s hope Scurvy deckboy here is not as agile

9:11 am June, 23 Anonymous said...

Creature, the defendants are all lucky. Had you made the Grand Jury, every case would have returned an indictment! Somewhere out there, a defense attorney weeps.

9:21 am June, 23 Vin Douchal said...

If he’s fucking my ex-girlfriend then the good news is he’s gonna have a hep-C breakout soon
.
.
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Joking, Whitey B

9:25 am June, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@M.Candidate, if I had a dime for eveytime I heard that line, I would have about a buck. Now what I should have done is taken the tickets and then scalped to some bleeths for twice the asking price. Lessons learned.

9:31 am June, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

Printed on tuxedo shirt=hilarious. Printed on rosary shirt=Stoooopid.
He probably shops at the same place Jesus-praying-hands-with-mike guy shops. The Retard Store. That’s why I take all my business to The Jerk Store across the street.

10:05 am June, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ ND
.
Does that make you Koko or T-Bone? T-Bone! T-Bone!

10:11 am June, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His tatt was clearly inspired (and possibly given to him by) Amy Winehouse. See her head just poking out from under his sleeve? In his fantasy her arms have been replaced by two rifle-like carrots that shoot Baby Jesus butt plugs at each other. The long blue squiggle is a Cookie Monster/Grover disembowelment she participated in as a young crack wench at her kindergarten with that kid who shoved EVERYTHING up his nose and the green splotches represent all the money she pissed away on crack and rehab (no no no). It’s all pretty clear once you recognize the imagery. And the Fact that it was done at a concession stand in the Harrisburg Senators in under 5 minutes makes it that more artistic and shit.

12:14 pm June, 23 The Dude said...

This is why, If I were a douchebag, which I am NOT!! – I’d rather be a member of a string quartet, or a woodwind trio. Those kinda guys may look douchey, but they get no mock here. It’s like using a Mac — you don’t get infected, because you’re appealing to a smaller market.

1:01 pm June, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This photo was taken backstage at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ between sets of his Bon Jovi/Motley Crue coverband concert. As his band rests he cavorts with tantalizingly taught rockette suckle thighs with gnawable abdomens and pointy chins.

1:46 pm June, 23 Stephanie said...

Yeah,the silkscreened shirt is a douche for sure,and that iron cross is only worn by real bikers or surfers,or real garage punk rockers who mean it. He’s gotta stop shopping at those shitty boardwalk places that offer you stupid on a stick. Whatta tourist.

8:10 pm June, 23 Steve L. said...

Kaitlyn is my summer solstice.

10:36 pm June, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Yup, he’s a fruggin’ douchebag and a half, but then there’s KAITLYN, and she’s sweeter than a sugar cream pie.
And still hott right out of the oven.
I mean REALLY HOTT.
Seriously hott, Boss, as in GORGEOUS.
As in, “What’s SHE doin’ with HIM?” hott.

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