Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Nipple That Ruined All of Human Achievement and the Mocked All Accomplishments of the Species

And there it is.

# posted by douchebag1
11:41 am June, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

Most worthy of a trashcan to the head? I think so.

11:46 am June, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Uggh!!!!

11:51 am June, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Please DB1, don’t do this to me right before I leave for my usual Thursday tasty repast at a delectable Vegas steakhouse or Italian trattoria.
.
.For now, my appetite has been lost, and my homicidal tendencies fully engaged.
.
.

11:52 am June, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

….and BTW, the world would be a better place if those two girls exchanged tits.

11:59 am June, 30 soy bomb said...

Wowwwwww…Pure, unfiltered Choad. Just what I didn’t need.

12:13 pm June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

I think the only greetings this douche knows is “S’up” and “Yo.” He should probably lay off injecting the steroids straight into his neck vein as well.

12:29 pm June, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Snooki Lite?

12:37 pm June, 30 Anonymous said...

I like the blonde. She has some shining pearly whites. I’d like to think my “paste” had something to do with it.

12:38 pm June, 30 douche bagel said...

@choad the douche sprocket

i whole heartedly agree

12:54 pm June, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

What.The.Fuck is he doing to his neck? I’ve seen the “I’m carrying invisible suitcases” pose. But this is the first time I have seen a “I’m in the middle of swallowing a massive dildo” pose. It literally looks like someone lopped off his head with a machete, and another head is just starting to grow back, like a starfish arm, in it’s place.

12:56 pm June, 30 Vin Douchal said...

….and BTW, the world would be a better place if a dispeptic toucan with a toothache went peck-bonkers and tore his neck flesh into hamburg

12:58 pm June, 30 Vin Douchal said...

….and BTW, the world would be a better place if his piercing became entangled in the velvet rope in the club line, he got shoved by the bouncer and his nip ring got torn out with a bloody splash

1:09 pm June, 30 Mandouchian Candidate said...

NOthing represents Jersey more than the chick on the left or the dude. For whatever reason- maybe toxic waste or all the New York washing toward the Ocean- it seems that 97.2% of Jersey chicks are less than 5′ tall, well over the 135 lb mark, dark hair, above average tits, and wear skin tight wife beaters and flip flops 363 days out of the year. Every other word out of their mouth is “fuck,” or “re-tahd,” and they smoke like chimneys and have a diet founded on primarily ice cream and pasta. There is no place on earth that more closely resembles hell than Tom’s River, NJ.

1:12 pm June, 30 tall guy said...

Based solely on the hair grease and groin shave reveal he’s totally punchable.

1:23 pm June, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

We need US flag pear tomorrow. ..by the way, it appears Chris Hansen was caught on tape cheating with his wife. “To Catch a Douchebag”.

1:24 pm June, 30 Bopeep said...

Like many amphibians, the Jersey Douche inflates his neck bladder to attract mates

1:24 pm June, 30 Vin Douchal said...

….and BTW, the world would be a better place if blondie came to SoCal to be an actress, failed miserably and moved to the San Fernando Valley to do a bunch of porn that I could download for free at YouJizz.com and fap away instead of working , like right now

2:02 pm June, 30 Vin Douchal said...

I knew I’d seen this guy before
.

2:26 pm June, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Revenge of the Neckroidmancer.

2:40 pm June, 30 Anonymous said...

Yo! Who you lookin at?!?

2:42 pm June, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Snoookie II likes to accessorize with anal beads.

2:46 pm June, 30 DarkSock said...

Dude McCrudeshoes at 12:54 pm FTW.

3:20 pm June, 30 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I bet if you pull the nipple ring off, he would deflate like cheap pool toy.

3:39 pm June, 30 Collaz B. Popped said...

He’s a head tilter.

3:40 pm June, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Mandouchian Candidate: Totally agree, but some of those plus-sized, dark-haired, vertically-challenged, nicely-breasted, battleship-hipped, mentally-re-tahded Jersey douchettes can be regular volcanoes in the sack.
.
.
.or so I’ve heard.
.
.
.Woody Allen

3:45 pm June, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

…and the world would be a better place if he was (had been) forced to storm the Normandy beaches on June 6, 1944, alone, with nothing but his nipple ring and attitude for offense.
.
.
.
.
.
Erwin Rommel

5:39 pm June, 30 Stephanie said...

Italian gold horn necklace from his grandma.

6:16 pm June, 30 Grand Douchemeister said...

Stephen Hawking must be rolling in his grave.

Wait, Stephen Hawking’s not dead.

Wait, he just saw this and died.

And then this guy’s douchiness caused the universe to collapse into a black hole so nothing so evil would ever exist again.

Too bad Stephen Hawking wasn’t alive to be proven right.

6:58 pm June, 30 Douche ex Machina said...

I get a real Cro-Bagnon whiff from this dude.

7:14 pm June, 30 creature said...

sewage spill

8:33 pm June, 30 army (ret) douche said...

this douche is of lesser quality they didn’t screw his head on straight. this is why you never order a douche assembled in taiwan…

6:25 am July, 1 Doucheywallnuts said...

Being that I am in the land that spawned the species of feces featured in this photo I can say that while we would all like to think the world is populated with the type of bleeth on the right, the reality is the vast majority of inhabitants look like the bleeth on the left. Is it a Wildebeast, a rabid Badger or some hideous cross-breed?

Her name is Marcy, she’s from Livingston and her dad owns a company that makes plastic cups. When she opens her mouth it sounds like an air raid siren crossed with Tarzan’s battle cry. Sure she has the rack, but down below she is a mess, sporting the lower body of a pack mule. The nose job helps her appearance in the same way the Red Cross helps at disaster sights when they hand out coffee and donuts. She bangs goyim to piss off mommy and daddy, but will marry according to the precepts of her community. It’s a terrifying creature that those outside of the tri-state area have little familiarity with. Kind of like the Chupacadra.

And of course guys that look like the dude in the middle are everywhere.

the blonde has no idea she is competing with his love of watching himself jack off in the mirror above the bed.

brunette hasn’t been out of her parents house to do anything but work or school in weeks, blonde is the only single friend w/o kids, that she has.

8:36 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

If only these ladies were doing a ‘bag tag. I won’t hold my breath, though.

1:38 pm July, 1 Steve L. said...

that’s a mighty fine neck for some heavy duty practicing of… arboreal skills.
.
i suddenly have immense respect for arborists and shit.

6:24 am July, 2 Oucheday Agbay said...

That guy doesn’t look like Jim Morrison, yet that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the pic. I don’t know why either.

11:16 pm July, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Hmmm. We could send him over to punch Chris Hanson.

1:24 pm July, 7 Anonymous said...

Why is he flexing? Do the girls make him anxious?

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 13 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)