Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Todd the Ferret

So named because a ferret once threw up on Todd’s shoulder.

To commemorate the incident, Todd had the partially digested bits of plant, garbage scrapings and small woodland fauna guts memorialized on his body in the form of a tattoo.

Perky Paulina has the taut, well toned, and surgically enhanced drinkable body that exists nowhere in nature, but everywhere in the mind of a thirteen year old boy who doesn’t want to study for his chemistry exam.

Looking at you, Michael Rosenbaum of 15253 Evergreen St., White Plains, New York. Get back to studying.

# posted by douchebag1
1:32 pm June, 29 FlipFriddle said...

It looks like her legs are caught in a net. Maybe that’s why she’s so close to this pile of excrement. And oh look, his tiny wiener is chubbed up too. How cute. He must like her!

Something tells me they are on the outside of the VIP ZONE.

Yuck.

1:34 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

World’s. Smallest. Boner.

1:36 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Goddamnit Boss! Stop giving out my name and address. Now everyone will want help with their chemistry homework. Jeeeeez!

1:38 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

Judging by the placement of her hair net, she must be Italian..
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Muffs.

1:39 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

His chub is so small he can’t fuck past the 3rd Life Saver in his pocket

1:39 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

His chub is so small he’s immune to groin punches

1:39 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

His chub is so small if he pees too hard it backflows to his sac.

1:40 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

His chub is so small he can rape a sparrow without waking it up

1:40 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

His chub is so small he can only fuck double amputees

1:40 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

scissor style

1:41 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ DarkSock
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Were you in Russia lately? Inquiring minds want to know.

1:43 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His chub is so small it makes his belly button look like Lady Ga Ga’s clit.
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Too gross? Too visual?

1:47 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

She must be using the stragically placed hair net to collect samples for her new line of merkins.

1:48 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

His chubb is so small it was the inspiration for Vlassic ‘Lil Gurkins.

1:49 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

His chubb is so small he is the playboy scion of the Vienna Sausage fortune.

1:50 pm June, 29 mr.reeve said...

PP FTB

1:53 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

His chubb is so small, Perky Paulina uses it to pick rib meat and pieces of corn stuck in her teeth after a backyard BBQ.

1:56 pm June, 29 mr.reeve said...

His chubb is so small, PP was able to use it to pierce her taint.

2:00 pm June, 29 mr.reeve said...

His chubb is so small, his poop noodles are the size of Panagrellus redivivus…..Son

2:19 pm June, 29 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Obviously a member of the Silverstein tribe.

2:27 pm June, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

Circus folk always crack me up.

2:37 pm June, 29 Wedgie said...

Nice chubby, Tiny Dancer.

2:45 pm June, 29 Nancy Dreuche said...

I had a dry dream about the both of them last night.

2:46 pm June, 29 army (ret) douche said...

its good to see someone keeping the classics alive. 10 degree hat tilt…DOUCHE ON! Thanks alot guys i didn’t even notice his tiny boner till you pointed it out… we can only hope it is pripism

2:47 pm June, 29 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Is that a half a roll of certs in your pocket are you just happy to see me?

2:49 pm June, 29 army (ret) douche said...

and i stand corrected paralell forarm line tats is WAY more stupid than flank geisha

3:07 pm June, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t like her.
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I got a dude with a business in Mission Viejo who wants me to go out for looksy into a Canadian distributorship for shit. I would be staying at his place and landing at a place called the Compton Airport in Compton where he lives. Is this a good place to go?
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Slackers

3:08 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Parallel line forearm tatt means he’ll pay extra for going above the marks. If you dare.
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rapscallions

3:12 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Rev Chad
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A few questions first:
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1. Will you be distributing actual shit or will it be the cheap knock-off variety most Americans are used to?
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2. Will you or he or both of you be providing the samples?
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3. You’ll have to ask which side of Compton this entrenpeneur lives on. Fashion dictates safety in that area.

3:15 pm June, 29 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, Compton is perfectly safe. You have my blessing. God speed my friend. Please go there. Soon. And if everyone is wearing red, be a trendsetter and wear blue. Trust me, you’ll land hecksa tail.

3:40 pm June, 29 Douchble Helix said...

Yeah, what ND said.

3:53 pm June, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

His chub is so small he makes 13 yr old Michael Rosenbaum of White Plains seem hung like a horse.

4:28 pm June, 29 Wedgie said...

Compton is beautiful this time of year. Beats the shit out of the Hamptons. Literally.

4:30 pm June, 29 creature said...

1974 called & wants its gym shorts back…her snatch has spyder webs dangling from it…his chub is so small toddlers laugh at him the line up at trough pisseries

4:49 pm June, 29 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

His chub is so small he masturbates with an electric toothbrush.
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Admit it, you’ve tried it.

10:18 pm June, 29 business said...

The course differs from many LLM programmes insofar as it provides not only seminar- and lecture- format teaching but also the intensive small-group tutorials that characterize s famous undergraduate .

11:17 pm June, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ The guy in Compton, Jesus, said that they can make skateboards and accessories in the area because his blood all work there from abroad. He said the safest way to travel there is if I wear a shirt that says “I Love Whitey”. It must be a sweet place cause I guess the tennis playing Williams sisters are from the city as well.

1:31 am June, 30 Steve L. said...

if i was Michael Rosenbaum, i’d probably be thinking, “why should i study for my chem exam when Todd the Ferret clearly didn’t study for his and still gets hot ass?”

and this is why i’m an ironworker. duuuuuuuhhhhhh…

3:11 am June, 30 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Damn, that is one punch worthy face.

8:14 am June, 30 Anonymous said...

There is no Evergreen St in White Plains, NY. I know. I lived there.

Get your shit straight.

5:54 pm June, 30 Stephanie said...

Hey,your grandma called and she wants her paisley blanket back teenie weenie…

10:11 am July, 4 a deal a day said...

She must be using the stragically placed hair net to collect samples for her new line of merkins.

5:10 am July, 6 Kelenna said...

No more s***. All posts of this qulatiy from now on

8:05 pm July, 7 Mitchell said...

Going to put this atircle to good use now.

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