Thursday, June 30, 2011

Tube Sock Frolic

As we gear up for the July 4th weekend, here’s a nostalgic clip from way back in 2006. When HCwDB was first beginning, and the Douche Frolic was still in a state of pure Brawndo drinking idiocracy.

Like Flaherty’s Nanook of the North or Grierson’s portrayals of working class British families, we find documentary artifact as preservation of the authentic even as the historical moment passes.

# posted by douchebag1
9:34 am June, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It looks like they are doing the homemade pasta dance. If that fat guido takes one misstep it aright, cause his dad knows sheetrock.
.
He’s so fat his frolic pulls the Northern Right Whales into Long Island Sound.
.
Greenpeacers

9:45 am June, 30 Fatness said...

Uh, no.

9:46 am June, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ahh the classics never grow old. Nothing says heterosexual like 2 bro’s (rhymes with mo’s) getting together on a sunny afternoon, rolling up their pant legs and spasmodically gyrating to some awful club music on a piece a shit boom box. It actually brought a smile to my face and by smile to my face I mean I have to go take a corn riddled dump.

9:53 am June, 30 antwar said...

This “dance” does not make him a douche. The fact that he has this “music” in his i Tunes library makes him a douche.

9:53 am June, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

Whenever I see these painfully white d-bags throwing the “nigga” word around I’m always reminded of the scene in Office Space when Michael Bolton is playing his rapping along to his stereo at a red light but when a black man walks by he rolls up the windows and locks the doors. It’s funny, but it’s not.

9:55 am June, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

kindly remove “playing his” from the above comment when you read it. I bought a bottle of rye last night but I have no rye this morning.

9:58 am June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Wait, so straight dudes do this? I’m still not sold. Also I think I’m not grasping the importance of wearing the tube socks. Is it so you can measure the intensity of your seizure dancing by how far they slide down your tree trunk cankles? And what kind of steroids is that kid on? Don’t steroids usually make you perform better? I hate that this video brought up so many questions from me. Fuck you video! I’M ON SQUIRT SODA!!!

9:59 am June, 30 mr.reeve said...

Dickheads

9:59 am June, 30 mr.reeve said...

Assholes

9:59 am June, 30 mr.reeve said...

Fucktards

10:10 am June, 30 mr.reeve said...

Michael Corleone’s Lord of the Prance
SON
Baby Guns

10:19 am June, 30 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Frolic Battle 3. It pains me to no end that there is a part 1 and 2 preceding this. Al Gore did not have this in mind when he invented the interwebz.



manbearpigs

10:27 am June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Great. Now I have another question. How do you determine the winner of the frolic battle? Is it the first one to come out of the closet?

10:41 am June, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

It seems like Boss is in a good mood today, first we get some pear and the he kicks it old school and drops some vintage jerz frolic on us. I for one approve the only thing that could make this better is if he could somehow grace us with some John Largeman or his ilk

10:45 am June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

^I could have done without the vintage jerz frolic, but a Largeman piece would be nice.

10:55 am June, 30 Mandouchian Candidate said...

@ ND 10:27
… And WHAT is the prize?

11:03 am June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@M.C. 10:55a, A chance to shake their thing on stage at the “ManHole”. I’m just guessing of course.

11:09 am June, 30 Douchble Helix said...

I’ll bet they got more ass than a toilet seat that night.

11:21 am June, 30 The Dude said...

Does watching this video make my ass look fat?

11:37 am June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douchble Helix, yeah they did. But it was from eachother.

11:56 am June, 30 soy bomb said...

Let’s just call a spade a spade. This is a douche mating dance to attract other guidos for gay coitus. I’m not entirely sure, but I’m guessing it has a very high success rate.

12:04 pm June, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@soy bomb, finally! Some sense has been made of this frolic dancing. Why don’t they just label it “Gay Niggaz Coituz Part 3” so as to deflect any confusion.

12:25 pm June, 30 douche bagel said...

i could hear fat boy mouth breathing over the music

12:28 pm June, 30 diedouche said...

I hope they smash their temples on a fucking doorknob so it knocks them out. then their cat can eat their eyeballs.

2:42 pm June, 30 ehcuodouche said...

I watched that whole video hoping against hope that one of them spilled a little Yoo-hoo on the floor and it would catch a foot during that frolic and BAM! The fat one would have taken out door and most of the wall. Instead, I have to hope that in filming the sequel, this scenario happened. Or they were so embarassed by the first that they left Jersey to build yurts for the homeless in Tibet. But most likely they’re just older and douchier and haven’t loaded any more under this account because they can’t remember the youtube password.

5:42 pm June, 30 Stephanie said...

The dance of the stooge.

6:03 pm June, 30 One for the Choad said...

I’m not one to throw the ‘g’ word around as liberally as the younger generation tends to, but JESUS CHRIST ON A POPSICLE STICK.

8:36 am July, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Best part was when Rolly Polly Paulie jumps in during the ubiquitous tension building stretch of the “music”, and fails repeatedly in his attempts to match the furious spinning his hamhock to the much anticipated return of high speed THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA.
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I would normally pity anyone in the club who got within four feet of these whirling dirt-vishes and their flailing arms and spasming legs.
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But then these two never step foot on the dance floor. EVER. They hug the bar and sip their cheap ass vodka, each one waiting for the other to be the first one to step out and embarass himself. “Dude that mix was busted. It SUCKED ASS. No way I’m dancing to that shit. No FUCKIN’ way dude! Next song dude, next song. Next song. Dude this song fucking eats dick too whatthefuckdude! No way I’m dancing to this crap. I ain’t wasting my moves on no cheap ass shit like this a’ayet? Next song, bro, next song. Dude next song.”
.
And repeat until they drive home in their Pontiac staring out the windows and wondering if they remembered to tell their boss they wouldn’t be in to cover their shifts delivering Little Debbie snack cakes to all the Piggley Wiggleys.
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And by Piggley Wiggleys I mean their relatives.

11:11 am July, 1 Sergernt Douchal said...

I can smell the cologne from here. I live in California.

1:01 pm July, 1 Steve L. said...

i’m listening to Foo Fighters’ I’ll Stick Around and i have no intention of turning on this video to ruin the song.
… yeah that was lame of me.

11:18 pm July, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

More like sniffin’ toilet water.

11:39 pm July, 4 Floppy Dick said...

These two fat faggots are a sight to behold in the gay bar frolicking around like a couple of cum guzzling idiots.

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