Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Vancouver Jake Goes to Vegas

And finds some ‘Nilla/Mocha love.

Vancouver Jake demonstrates the rare “shirt over head” move. Rank enough to cause his belly button to puke up a hairball.

The ladies may not be top shelf premium Glengarry Scotch, but they do offer a steadfast refusal to become soccer moms. Even as the winds of fate swirl with gimpses of future SUVs and trips to Chuck-e-Cheese. In the meantime, boobies.

# posted by douchebag1
7:08 am June, 15 Claude Douchenbagger said...

mmmmm…make mine sugar no cream.

7:12 am June, 15 Mr. White said...

Sorry, DB1. Vanilla’s head and shoulders were born to be peering out from behind the windshield of a Dodge Caravan, blissed out on mimosas and Ambien while her 4 kids go all Lord of the Flies in the back. I give her 2 years, max.

7:21 am June, 15 Douchble Helix said...

Sometimes the commerce part overwhelms the Hott sexy part. That’s happening in this photo. But if I was there with those two, I would have carnal thoughts. But the idea of banging Eddie Murphy’s daughter doesn’t do much for me. She’s the one on our left, btw.

7:26 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Brass knuckle bikini bling on blondie? Bitchin’.
.
I’m almost inclined to give this guy a nottadouche. Sure there’s the stupid shirt move, but he didn’t shave his happy trail and displays no stupid hand signs and zero kissy lips. He’s just hangin’ with two ladies who like to partay. I’d give him a high five and possibly a pound it and be on my merry way. And by merry way I mean Operation Vegas: Burn It To The Ground.

7:41 am June, 15 Hermit said...

I always wanted an Ebony and Ivory threesome, but the only offer I got was from a Ru Paulian tranny and some dude named Bubba.

7:42 am June, 15 Hermit said...

^ It was fun, nonetheless.

7:44 am June, 15 Hermit said...

….nevertheless?

7:46 am June, 15 Hermit said...

Sorry Nancy, the jorts with Jethro Bodine belt and bandana seal the deal, he’s douche.

8:02 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Those aren’t jorts Hermit. They’re swim trunks. Perfectly acceptable for the present pool environment. And the bandana actually looks okay on this guy. His outward douche is at low levels. I’d have to get him drunk or high to asess his inner douche though, so you could be right.

8:05 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Vato.

8:16 am June, 15 DarkSock said...

Hal would soon pay the price for diving into the heavily chlorinated pool just hours after his scalp removal surgery.
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Brah.

8:16 am June, 15 Anonymous said...

Did you see what He did…?
DB1 spiced-up an otherwise unremarkable scene by carefully hiding the rear-end of an unemployed pantomime horse in the pic.
Can you spot it?

8:29 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Aw damn it, I just reread it. Dudes from Canada, so, Autodouche.

8:32 am June, 15 Hermit said...

If Shaniqua jumps into the pool there will be a Valdiz-like oil slick as fourteen gallons of hair straightener mix with the chlorine-diluted urine.
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since Nancy beat me to Vato,
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Sistah’

8:32 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Have we done Home Skillet yet?
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Home Skillet.

8:48 am June, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’d stay as far away from this scene as possible because Shenaynay looks like one of these is about to come out of her. Look at her gunt just above her bikini bottoms. Clearly alien antennas are starting to appear. Blondie looks like she just emerged from The Playpen and doesn’t know what to expect on the outside any more. Doucheboy is getting the reflection of his broheim’s ass on the inside of his shades. And he’s likin’ it. A lot.
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Dudes.

9:04 am June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nothing here but some hard living fun. If they are from Vancouver he may be a douche. They are ayight. I’m just not feeling the crazy or nasty this week. Maybe I have reformed myself to far, too soon. Maybe I should cut back on the 2 hour workdays and gardening. Maybe I need to get stoned and drunk. But I don’t want to miss the Epic tonight. Don’t make me pull a Tall Guy on you Nancy Dreuche. I’m 4’6″…wide. Built like a tuna and can pull hair like a banshee.
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Noblemen

9:08 am June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, you know I loves me some interwebs duelin’. Bring it Tuna Can-adian!

9:09 am June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

What’s with all the name calling?
*
*
*
Landlord.

9:15 am June, 15 Mandouchian Candidate said...

It’s every white guy’s fantasy to make his own remake of “Hustle and Flow.” Everyone knows that. I would have to say that to really have a street worthy sistah, the PSI rating on her fuppa needs to be turned down. She just doesn’t look hungry enough. And Albino’s skin is way too smoothe and creamy looking; she needs to be drug by a car half hanging out through a safeway parking lot a few times to get those knee caps the proper callusses.

Trick.

9:17 am June, 15 Vin Douchal said...

This jumpoff is drinking water. Get him an Ultra and a chest/groin shave and Stackhouse may notice him from five deep back at the bar waving for “two more”.
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Other than that I see no douchebag here just a ‘Nuck and I love ‘Nucks
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9:42 am June, 15 Douchble Helix said...

No Keith Richards, comparisons?
Landsman.

10:23 am June, 15 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I think Jake ordered these two off one of those cards the “illegally across our southern border” friends are always snapping at you as you walk down the vegas strip. I believe this was the ebony and ivory special for $500. Not that I would know anything about that kind of stuff.

10:25 am June, 15 creature said...

blondie is sucking in her gunt so hard a seat cushion just flew up her ass
.
luv

10:29 am June, 15 creature said...

Jack has his tshirt slung over his shoulder, it’s 11am & he’s hungover, goddamnit, so he’s gonna fall back in the cabana for some black & white cookie tossing
.
dollface

12:07 pm June, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Look, it’s Tommy Leebowitz!

1:51 pm June, 15 Stephanie said...

Soccer Mom’s have pretty happy lives without the herpes,though…and great afternoons lying around and having sex with the delivery boys. Just sayin’. Of course,I’m not talking specifically about my life…

7:01 pm June, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Stephanie, Dish it girlfriend. What am I missing? How hot are these delivery boys?

7:01 pm June, 15 creature said...

^some whore for spending $
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I have a strange hankering for chocolate milk
babycakes

7:57 pm June, 16 Stephanie said...

You’re not missing anything here…just,well nothing really to dish here,these young studs here are walking erections…with clueless looks on their faces. One of them deliver the mail,the others are skateboard punks in packs of 2 or 3 but they’re of legal age,and cute. I don’t want to re-create the movie The Graduate,but it’s funny to think about.

10:46 am June, 17 business daily said...

You may happen to meet with some others whose..friendship may be of great use to you hereafter either from their..superior talents or their rank and fortune cultivate them but then I..desire that Mister Harte may be the judge of those persons…..Adieu my dear child! For instance do..you find yourself hurt and mortified when another makes you feel his..superiority and your own inferiority in knowledge parts rank or..fortune? You should as little..quarrel as connect yourself with either…..Whatever you say or do at court you may depend upon it will be known ..the business of most of those who crowd levees and antichambers being..to repeat all that they see or hear and a great deal that they neither..see nor hear according as they are inclined to the persons concerned or..according to the wishes of those to whom they hope to make their court…Great caution is therefore necessary and if to great caution you can..join seeming frankness and openness you will unite what Machiavel..reckons very difficult but very necessary to be united volto sciolto e..pensieri stretti…..Women are very apt to be mingled in court intrigues but they deserve..attention better than confidence to hold by them is a very precarious..tenure…..I am agreeably interrupted in these reflections by a letter which I have..this moment received from Baron Firmian.

12:28 pm June, 17 E. Keith Owens said...

You may happen to meet with some others whose..friendship may be of great use to you hereafter either from their..superior talents or their rank and fortune cultivate them but then I..desire that Mister Harte may be the judge of those persons…..Adieu my dear child! For instance do..you find yourself hurt and mortified when another makes you feel his..superiority and your own inferiority in knowledge parts rank or..fortune?

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