Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Where’s Waldouche?: Hott Soup Edition

Sam writes in:

—–
Twenty-two college freshman hotts accompanied by one bag-a-tron in upper-left. He goes to my university. His grades are terrible. His grandfather invented the magnetic strips that go on credit cards.

Thus this doucher is far from run-of-the-mill sun-glass in the pool douche and in fact, is descendent of douche royalty. One can only guess what hand sign he’s raising, middle finger, peace sign, hang ten, redundant point?

But enough worrying about him and back to the twenty-two fine ladies.
—–

I would rub only the finest of imported Grecian mint jellies upon each of their bellies whilst humming the theme to Night Court in an off-key baritone. Then I would repose quietly to the barn with only a candlestick and a book of poems by Emo Phillips to comfort me through the night.

# posted by douchebag1
9:41 am June, 14 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

Sorry, db1, but that is the ugliest group of collective “hotts” I think you’ve ever posted. The above-ground trailer park pool is a new addition, so they’ve got that going for them. Son.

9:47 am June, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

photoshop. son.

9:57 am June, 14 creature said...

the gal front & center in purple with double 1 finger salute…are her drawers down to her knees?

9:58 am June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Fuck, dude, that’s like some above ground pool at some hillbilly travel lodge. Hotts notwithstanding, this scene has all the earmarks of bed wetting, booger eating and chipped teeth. Kind of like fourth grade but with Bud Light.

10:02 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

Barney, the elderly janitor and groundskeeper at this Best Western on the outskirts of Flagstaff, simply didn’t understand how the pump filter got clogged with hair and semen with just that one guy in the pool.

10:05 am June, 14 Mandouchian Candidate said...

What community college Sorority is this? Kuppa Smagma?

10:06 am June, 14 Mandouchian Candidate said...

What community college Sorority is this? Gamma Vi Brata?

10:13 am June, 14 Anonymous said...

What community college sorority is this, Upsilon Bukkaka?

10:14 am June, 14 Bigphatnotadouche said...

It must be Alabama State College senior week at the Dew Drop Inn in Birmingham.

10:18 am June, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Oh. My.
.
Good thing I wasn’t there. That’s all I gotta say.
.
Except that center-front hott seems to be losing her bottoms…

10:29 am June, 14 creature said...

a good time was had by all the bros of Gropa Sacka Teeni frat after Andrew Luster dumped a box of roofies in the Seaside Shanty Inn pool during springbreak

10:31 am June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

DB1, A candlestick and Emo Phillips? Jebus, I though we were “no homo” here. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. As for the pic, I am not cool with these odds.

10:43 am June, 14 Scooby Douche said...

45 boobs in a cheap pool.

10:44 am June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Son of Sam. Son.

10:46 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

I fear that Screaming Rush Limbaugh Girl near the back and to the left just lost her battle with Olestra and involuntarily “inked” the pool.
.
Which calls for Olestra Pool Mishap Haiku, of course:
.
Cindi squints brown eye;
Battle’s lost in thrashing pool.
Brown cloud exodus.

10:47 am June, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

“Royalty” in a $500 above ground pool? It used to be a pool, anyway. Now it is the world’s largest petri dish.

10:47 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

Brown spurt of relief;
“GOD DAMN YOU LISA” they scream;
Pool’s a chili bowl.

10:49 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

Fat Free Chips?!? Let’s Swim!!!
Underwater mud horn honks;
Parting of Brown Sea.

10:50 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

Is it just me, guys?
Does anal leakage haiku
Make me such a freak?

10:54 am June, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DarkSock, no you’re perfectly normal. Its the rest of us that are whack. Happy Birthday, Chief.
.
.
.
.
.
Grrrrrl.

10:55 am June, 14 creature said...

fart underwater
Lucy thought it might squeak by
oops, mudpack explodes

10:57 am June, 14 creature said...

no vote was taken
girl banned from sorority
after Lucy’s bung slams shut

10:59 am June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Pee-like yellow tint
With some flowing menstrual juice
Smells like he got laid

11:01 am June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Ladies polo team
The underwater action
Would straighten your pubes

11:06 am June, 14 Banana Hammock said...

Not a bad time to be the bouillon base…

11:16 am June, 14 creature said...

soylent green you ask?
enough yeast in the water
to ferment Coors Field

11:30 am June, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The Tallahassee State Wimmin’s swim team celebrate their final (and only) victory of the season over over Car’s Towing and Lube. Dweezer in back has yet to make the full change over but they thought it would be nice to include him anyway.

11:33 am June, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Tommy, almost pictured at 1 o’clock says, “that’s weird, the filter is packed with glitter and sticky white sludge.”

11:34 am June, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Chemists has tracked down
source of European E.
Coli. It’s this pool.

11:35 am June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow! You guys are harshing on above ground pools and freshmen girls.
.
.
Haters

11:36 am June, 14 Anonymous said...

No Dark Sock. I love your Poo Poo Haiku.

11:38 am June, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

This pic has a lot going on, the simultaneous peace sign & flipping the bird is confusing. I’m not sure what they are trying to convey. Then there is the 3 finger salute which I think is code for “I enjoy it in all three inputs”. But what gets me is the chick in front of Waldouche, the one with her eyes closed who looks like she got poked in the arse by the Rev’s Jesus sized cocck.

11:39 am June, 14 DarkSock said...

B.P. (Bung Plug) leak
Befouls the waters with poo;
Tar balls stick to pool.

11:40 am June, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

I can only imagine what’s going through the mind of the dude who’s on the outside of the pool.
.
.
Dorks

11:52 am June, 14 Douchble Helix said...

Philistines. That enthusiastic girl is perfectly posing for this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Scream.jpg

12:03 pm June, 14 DarkSock said...

Joyce: Pool Poo Magi:
Turns water into Yoo-Hoo;
“Let My People Poop!”

12:22 pm June, 14 Wheezer said...

Poo-poo in the pool? Well, the Boss did name this one “Hotts Oop,” didn’t he?
.
.
.
Didn’t he?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(chirping)

12:56 pm June, 14 creature said...

if you can get chlamydia from a shared bidet, then the girls of Kappa Kappa Itch are in for one helluva surprise

1:40 pm June, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

22-2(counting the guy on the outside-Yet Waldouche goes home with wet jean, cut-offs and only the memories to which he might pleasure himself. To think he went down his list from hottest to not hot getting to the one lady he deemed a sure thing because she could never turn HIM down and yet she did.

5:44 pm June, 14 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

anyone who doesn’t think they would smash at least 18 of those chippies, even if it meant serious chafing from an over-chlorinated cooter, and probably the other 4 wins a lifetime subscription to details magazine.

homeslice.

6:30 pm June, 14 Steve said...

I honestly couldn’t count how many of them I’d bone because most of them are wearing those ridiculously large glasses that cover half their faces. Meanwhile it doesn’t even look sunny out. In fact the lighting, to me, looks more like it might be raining.

Oh and there’s 2 douchebags in this pic. One in the upper left corner, and tone outside the pool whose head was cut off.

12:11 am June, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’d elect a baseball bat and a book of Rumi poems, but to each his own.
Boss.

8:56 am June, 15 Baron Von Goolo said...

A hott with some junk in her trunk
Thought Olestra would downsize her chunk.
But, with friends in a pool,
She unleashed liquid stool.
Now they’re tits-deep in skunky butt funk.

12:15 pm June, 15 Douchetastic Sam said...

Meccha leccha hi meccha hottie ho’!

Signifying in unison the genitalia distinction.

Cock and vag to all of you hotty ho’s!

Cock and vag forever.

Leave a Reply

What is 9 + 4 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)