Sunday, July 31, 2011

B4-4’s “Go Go” and the Origins of Douchebaggery

You remember B4-4 (try as you might to forget). Our 2008 winner for Douchiest Video of the Year and Canada’s contribution to global scrotebaggery, B4-4 was a “Boy Band” during the dark days of the N Sync / Backstreet Boys toxic plague of the early 00s.

Well this video just might be worse. A heaping, steaming load of crypto-gay dance moves, stupid hair spike and sheeny shaved chestery mixed with hott paid-to-pose model suckle thighs.

Never forget the origins of the plague.

For their scrotal legacy of narcissistic preen and culture suck haunts us still.

# posted by douchebag1
7:41 am July, 31 Wheezer said...

I don’t know how I lasted the whole 17 seconds, but once the spikey/glossy bro-rape started, I had to stop watching.

7:53 am July, 31 Douchble Helix said...

I hate you, DB1. God hates you, too.

8:36 am July, 31 Et Tu Douche? said...

WTF??? I laughed at first when the bro-rape scene commenced not that it was funny but because that dude? screamed like a little bitch. I proceeded to get disturbed with subsequent gurgling of my bowels as the guy comes through the door. I passed out after that and I’m trying to forget I ever saw the first several seconds of this craptastrophe.
.
I’ll say it yet again, I would of preferred a good old fashion frolic video.

8:58 am July, 31 Lance Bass said...

They had me at the bathroom love scene. That’s how I like to start off my Friday nights. Being taken from behind by my broiest bro. Great stuff, thank you DB1.

9:03 am July, 31 Scott said...

I’m gonna have to have sex with a woman now after watching that just to make sure I’m not gay.

10:14 am July, 31 schlicht bindenburger said...

all i have to say is ….. corn filled soft serve steaming heap!

10:24 am July, 31 Mr. White said...

I refuse to be eye-raped by this video. I’m not even gonna click it. You can’t make me.

10:31 am July, 31 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

You make the right choice, Mr. White. Don’t be a tough guy like me and try to watch the whole thing. That festering relic of early-00’s culture squat will rape more than your eyes. I have seen the abyss, and it is darker than you can imagine.

10:38 am July, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Two things about that video:
.
1. It caused me to enjoy the feeling of the flaming-hot beery hot sausage and corn anti-rape my colon just performed on my know bloody asshole.
.
2. Reason #1022 that I have for leaving the steaming pile of mulitcultural liberal fascist pile of dogshit gay-loving family-hating City of Toronto.
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3. I thing I know the mother of these guys.

.
4. Hermit digs that shit, yo.
.
Scissor Sisters

11:06 am July, 31 tall guy said...

Not since the stereodouchtonic surround sound stench have I been witness to such multiple scrotery chest shave abomination. And what of the early shades of orange? Utterly repulsive!

11:42 am July, 31 Laura said...

This is so fucking gay. No that there’s anything wrong with that. What’s wrong is they shoulda shown them all chasing a hot dude through the club instead of that chick. And cool, Lance Bass comments here. I remember him from when he went to the moon.

11:58 am July, 31 DarkSock said...

They all look like Sonic The Fudge-Hog.

12:01 pm July, 31 Medusa Oblongata said...

I couldn’t watch the whole thing. Does that little white dog in the photos at the beginning have any significance? Besides it being that dude’s dog and he wanted to get Foo Foo in the video somehow? I hope that dog loses his shit one day and gnaws off that guy’s testicles.

12:01 pm July, 31 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

All 3 of them deserve Gemini awards for feigning interest in the paid-to-poses.

12:14 pm July, 31 Hermit said...

@ Rev,

You’re right, that was some top-notch entertainment.
.
Toronto’s alright, the Socio-Fascists are only looking out for our own good, you just haven’t gotten your mind right yet.
.
Speaking of Capitalism, I have a business proposition which will involve your area of expertise. It involves selling Reverse Mortgages to wealthy, elderly couples with clear deeds to their property. After closing, I’ll replace their blood thinners with Desmopressin®, (a clotting agent.) Or I’ll run them over with my pickup when they check the mailbox for their Social Security checks and grocery coupons.
.
Have your people contact my people, we’ll do lunch.

1:05 pm July, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit
.
I dislike Toronto less after being gone for a year. They will never install the social-engineering chip in my brain like the sad minnions in millions before me. I sold everything and ran like Logan. They put Prozac in the Toronto water supply you know. The fish in the lake are very complacent. The sheep in the city are zombies.
.
The talent of B44 is closely equal to the combined talent of George Lopez, Jimmy Kimmel, and Tracy Morgan.
.
I got people to place those mortgages. Just figure out how to split the profits with them for your particularly skill set. I hate it when people say skill set, don’t you?
.
When will these kids leave us alone long enough for the Mrs. to get her long-weekend up againt the wall anal? Anybody?

1:42 pm July, 31 Hotspur said...

As a Canadian I apologize for this and for the Bieber too

2:27 pm July, 31 Laura said...

Well if this here is a video of the origins of douchebaggery, I can only conclude that the origins of douchebaggery are somewhat effiminate in nature. Great video to illustrate that point douchebaggery1.

2:40 pm July, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

These guys are so gay Toronto gave them a pink key to Mayor Miller’s asshole.

2:55 pm July, 31 Stephanie said...

Prickheads.

3:11 pm July, 31 The Dude said...

I’m currently caring for a dying dog in organ failure. She pukes up pretty much everything I stuff down her throat. Cleaning up that puke is pure joy compared to watching this video. Thank you very little.
.
.
Spikey-hair turds.

5:19 pm July, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I really hate these fuckers so much I keep coming back for more abuse, and the kids are being really stupid.
.
This guy has a record contract.
.
http://www.break.com/index/riff-raff-shows-off-playa-lifestyle-2089535

7:14 pm July, 31 creature said...

vulva

8:16 pm July, 31 Mr. White said...

What’s that? You want a chick-fronted, Italian power metal band playing in a cave to cleanse your palate? You got it.

8:53 pm July, 31 Devil's Advocate said...

Was that dude in the mirror, and the dude raping him, were they the same dude? I can’t tell these frosted twatrockets apart.

@ Mr. White

That Italian power chick metal should by all rights be ridiculous, but I dug it. I felt clean again.

8:54 pm July, 31 Devil's Advocate said...

Another thing… why is Toothy McGaybag moist?

10:18 pm July, 31 Al Paccah said...

Completely off topic, but while on the North Side of Chicago today, attending the “Taste of Lincoln Avenue Fest”, I was “blessed” by the presence of FISH SLAP, who was carrying a young brunette on his back through the crowd. I mumbled “FFIIISSSHHHH” as he walked past, but sadly he didnt acknowledge me. I have now stood next to Fish Slap and Donkey Douche and feel a sense of empowerment…also, I may have caught a viral std. Tests forthcoming.

11:11 pm July, 31 Guid is Good said...

Vanessa Minnillo is my 3rd favourite celebrity Hott who I hope falls on hard times and resorts to porn to make ends meet.

Nick Lachey is a douche – no argument there but the bit in “Newlyweds” when he and his dumb brother are moving a couch and were attacked by bees was pretty funny. Fuck my useless brain – I need that space.

6:41 am August, 1 Mr. White said...

@devil’s advocate
Same here. I keep wanting to like the Italian power metal ironically, but I end up liking it for reals. I want to get a mid-80s IROC and hang out in the parking lot of McDonald’s blasting it from a shitty factory-installed tape deck.

10:52 am August, 1 Devil's Advocate said...

@Mr. White.
That’s a totally healthy, near wholesome mental image you put in my head there.

11:41 pm August, 1 Troy Tempest said...

Ummmm, not to get like all technical and stuff, but doesn’t b4 – 4 actually mean (b-1) x 4? OR am I missing something? Or are they talking that funking “city talk” and b4 = before, in which case they should just name themselves “3”?

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