Saturday, July 2, 2011

Comment of the Week: Choad the Douche Sprocket

From back on Monday, in the Stay Tuft Marshmallow Man thread, longtime ‘bag slayer Choad The Douche Sprocket wins this week’s coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:

——
Have you ever consumed too much milk, vanilla milkshakes, white bread, and extra-sharp, non-carotene-colored, fine white, well-aged Vermont cheddar cheese throughout an entire day…perhaps whilst watching your boxed set of Masterpiece Theatre’s Upstairs-Downstairs episodes…and then had to take a dump approximately twelve hours later?

If you have — assuming your bowels could move after such a repast — and then looked in the toilet bowl after your extended, forced contribution, what you would see would closely resemble Marshmallow Man’s steamy, putrid visage.

I speak from experience in such matters.

And BTW, she has a nice rack.
——

# posted by douchebag1
12:38 pm July, 2 DarkSock said...

I cannot say why, but this photo smells like fat people fucking at the zoo.

12:46 pm July, 2 Ohio FJ said...

Indeed she does…

2:47 pm July, 2 Emperor Shaddam IV said...

I hate the smell of spam with douche…

3:46 pm July, 2 Mr. White said...

O.K., the viagra and cialis spam I get, but Lipitor? Is there seriously an online black market for cholesterol meds? Does it make your penis huge?
.
.
.
.
Runs to the kitchen and eats a stick of butter.

4:04 pm July, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

Cheap Tamiflu’s got the goods. Except for Midol. You know for RevChad’s woman-like rants for attention. Hopefully Lenny the Box carries that in his bag o’ tricks.
.
That douche looks like a funny Dane Cook. With better skin though.

congrats CtDS.

now, this just into our barely lucid, even when sober, hcwdb breaking news alert watch eye witness update newsroom:

authorities have captured a baboon after three days anywhich way but loose in new jersey authorities are unsure if the baboon escaped from the six flags great adventures monkey jungle, or a local jubior college.

authorities expressed considerable relief at being able to identify the primate, and said they felt the window was closing on their ability to identify and capture the baboon. after three days the baboon was already becoming indistinguishable from the indigenous human population. the great fear was the baboon would be able to blend in at any party, or bar,taven, beach or club making identifying and capturing the beast, nearly impossible.

more news to follow, unless the drugs kick in.

as is too often the case, i am missing a period after new jersey.

brass monkeys.

7:55 pm July, 2 Steve said...

Choad the Douche Sprocket lol.

8:36 pm July, 2 Troy Tempest said...

And, like clockwork, the Saturday evening viagra spam arrives. Fuck – that is so depressing.
.
Viagra spammers are the douchebags of spam. Of ALL the things one could clutter the interweb thingie with, and these douchenozzles pick VIAGRA as if there’s a market here. Like any of the men here have a problem getting it up. Hey – dopey viagra shitstain – here’s a clue: a “significant portion” of men come to this site to pull their pud. The rest of us are secure enough that we see this as a grand parade of lifeless packaging and a time killer between the pussy pounding we cheerfully administer to our lovely wives.
.
So, tell me, mr viagra spam shit, WHY DO YOU BOTHER?
.
Are you some kind of broke ass dipshit in the suburbs of Lagos?
Are you some kind of parasitic jerkoff in the Motherland (russia)?
really! What’s you’re fucking dysfunction?
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Oh, and by the way: Fuck You.
.
lurv,
Troy Tempest

8:43 pm July, 2 Troy Tempest said...

now playing: a sound effects CD of people pouring carbonated beverages.
.
bite me.

8:44 pm July, 2 Troy Tempest said...

Smearkat’s Anya is my future ex-wife.

9:09 pm July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@CTDS
.
Well done sir. And may you never suffer the full pangs of lactose intolerance again. Just remember to get your lactase enzymes a break every now and again.

9:43 pm July, 2 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

I am unworthy oh Great One. But grateful.
.
.Merci beaucoup for the honor and the praise from my fellow ‘bag hunters…now excuse me while I go take my nightly dose of Metamucil in hopes of flushing the above picture from my brain.

11:16 pm July, 2 Guid is Good said...

What’s with the douche with the raised pinky in the background? He’s surrounded by shirt-less douchebags and he is carrying on like he is having high tea with the Queen of England.

And nice rack!

6:29 am July, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I missed that one first time around CTDS. Lovely prose.
.
9 out of 10 of Nancy Dreuche’s therapists recommend she may find a boyfriend after having her vocal chords removed, making her more attractive to sweaty Greeks. The other suggested a nightly dose of metamucil may give her a weak but needed thrill.

7:23 am July, 3 The Dude said...

I would Polka on that hott’s dots.

7:29 am July, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, hahahaha! I can still harp pretty well using American Sign Language. But yeah, I should probably just become a mime. I’m peeping that Metamucil tip though. It turns out you do have a heart in there somewhere.

10:24 am July, 3 The Dude said...

The Dude says, wtf with all these ads

10:28 am July, 3 The Dude said...

I just Polka’d on her dots. Phew! I’m just glad my cialis-induced erection dint last more than four hours.

11:44 am July, 3 DarkSock said...

My theory: The SpamBots are triggered by the “Comment Of The Week” title. Betcha. If next week’s choice pick is titled something abstract like “Snarkiest Snark” we shall be passed over by the quivering pink dickk of spamm.

12:23 pm July, 3 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Dark Sock — don’t think it’s Comment of the Week that’s doing it….but could be wrong. On my site, we stopped taking comments after two weeks and that seemed to stop a lot of spam.
.
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I think the “V” word is the trigger….but who knows.

.
.agree anyone behind this shite should be forced to swallow 20 pills and walk around priapic for days….peeing either on their head or under their chin for awhile.
.
.Happy Fourth Eve to all!!!

12:24 pm July, 3 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Dark Sock — don’t think it’s Comment of the Week that’s doing it….but could be wrong. On my site, we stopped taking comments after two weeks and that seemed to stop a lot of spam.
.
.
I think the “V” word is the trigger….but who knows?

.
.agree anyone behind this shite should be forced to swallow 20 pills and walk around priapic for days….peeing either on their head or under their chin for awhile.
.
.Happy Fourth Eve to all!!!

2:09 pm July, 3 DarkSock said...

It could be double posts that attract spam.

2:10 pm July, 3 DarkSock said...

It could be double posts that attract spam

11:31 pm July, 3 DarkSock said...

^Indeed it is.

11:46 pm July, 3 Steve L. said...

is anyone still talking about Choad the Douche Sprocket’s comment of –

fuck it.

11:50 pm July, 3 Steve L. said...

so i heard Hugh Hefner developed hearing impairments due to taking too much Viagra. and apparently, hearing impairment is a pretty rare side effect of Viagra. it only occurs after irrational degrees of Viagra consumption.
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just throwing it out there for pharmaceutical vendors looking for the right clientele.

11:58 pm July, 3 Steve L. said...

in unrelated news, props to UCLA’s Theater degree program!
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bimbos.

1:14 am July, 4 Ecnbmquj said...

angles coloring pages,

7:44 am July, 4 Rick Derris said...

Damn – this guy so needs a good punch in the face.

12:43 pm July, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Get in line @Rick Derris. You’ll have to wait until The Old Choad and @Dark Sock work this putz over first.

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