Saturday, July 30, 2011

Comment of the Week: Mr. Scrotato Head

In one short comment from Thursday’s “Lifehouse” Thread, Mr. Scrotato Head tells the tale of the tragic Hottest Highschool Girl and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

———-
The cutest girl in my high school was amazingly tight and curvy back in the day. Beautiful tanned skin, long dark hair, and piercing brown eyes that told every guy in every grade that he didn’t have a f*cking chance with her but hey, at least she looked at you.

She now has a mustache Tom Selleck would envy. Oh how the hotties do fall.
———-

# posted by douchebag1
1:02 pm July, 30 Fatness said...

Didn’t Scrotato go to an all-boys school?

1:05 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

White socks, black shoes…REALLY???

2:19 pm July, 30 tall guy said...

Yeah, I just noticed that too. How perfectly foul.

3:18 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Here’s my “Damn, thought of it 2 days too late” Comment of the week:
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This guy is so gay the only way you could cock-punch him is to the throat:
dafsdfsadf

3:21 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Regarding the veined felon in the photo: here is his arch-nemesis and the only man on Earth that can destroy him:
fr8y

3:25 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Here’s a candid photograph of Wheezer:
raegret

4:31 pm July, 30 Girl said...

@darksock
That is just freaking awesome. Now if only db1 can get his llamas to do that…

5:13 pm July, 30 Stephanie said...

I see the socks are a bad choice,no doubt,but the guy doesn’t even have a penis.

5:47 pm July, 30 Hermit said...

Last night I rode drunk and shirtless through the unincorporated streets, my breast nipples erect and thoughtful, sniffing the air like two hungry bloodhounds, searching for elusive profundity hiding deep in the crevasses of rotting tree trunks and the minds of deranged bus mechanics. I dodged around rubbish tramps and whoremongerers as they scuttled before me, mere foot travelers in a harsh, mechanized landscape. Nervous adolescents try desperately to hide their birth defects behind greasy t-shirts and false bravado as the near-dead drag oxygen tanks and shopping carts though the trash-strewn alleys probing trash cans and cat food dishes for an evening morsel. The taciturn faces of wrinkled matrons peer out through the cracked and filthy windows of the dying storefronts.
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The bag hunters keep mocking, Scrotato hurls sour grapes at unfulfilled high school sexual fantasy, an AWOL DarkSock returns to the front lines to post illicit, underground ass pear, Nancy Drouche displays erratic personality disorders, Reverend Chad exorcises the demons from his computer, haggard engineers cobble together pieces of cannibalised nuclear reactor parts. Time keeps marching on inexorably.
.
.

The sidewalks are littered with tattered and worthless lottery tickets.The long-abandoned gas station still displays $1.29 for unleaded, frozen in time and space.

6:07 pm July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow. I got nothing. Back to Wickerman.

6:07 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

Drunk and shirtless is better than the alternative.

6:09 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

This guy is so shirtless his dry cleaner has gone out of business.

6:10 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

He’s so shirtless Matthew McCaughnahay is blushing.

6:10 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

He’s so shirtless HUSTLER magazine is calling him to negotiate a spread with Casey Anthony.

6:11 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

He’s so shirtless his chest hair is beginning to grow back.

6:12 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

He’s so shirtless his speedo is starting to rise up.

6:13 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

He’s so shirtless that I don’t further give a fuck.
.
.
Shirtless.

6:13 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

I’m so fuckless, I’m putting my shirt back on.

7:51 pm July, 30 creature said...

Goldie Hawn with a Toosie Roll fished out of the folds of Plinky’s Mom’s sofa

9:28 pm July, 30 mandouchian candidate said...

I am going to say you all have outdone yourselves on this thread. Thanks The Dude. I haven’t pissed myself since I was 7…

11:26 pm July, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

It’d cost less than 44 cents to mail that package.

11:35 pm July, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

Really? That comment? More so than Scrotato’s entirely-too-close-to-home Champagne Katie 11:42 am hobnail boot to the vulva?
.
Wev.

11:39 pm July, 30 creature said...

he said ‘vulva’…heh heh

12:12 am July, 31 Baron Von Goolo said...

And say what you will about the dude in the pic here, but that cat is RIPPED…
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…from the pages of a Tom Of Finland sketchbook, but ripped nonetheless.

6:01 am July, 31 Doucheywallnuts said...

That Britney Spears sure can pull some quality douchebag.
.
Also, there’s no doubt that when properly used, anabolics can elevate the state of Douche.

6:03 am July, 31 Doucheywallnuts said...

“He’s never worn a shirt. Not even to church. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.”

7:11 am July, 31 Wheezer said...

Samurai Scrote doffs the tie-as-headband and says, “That was so gauche. It’s 2011, so ‘ROIDS ARE MY GAME NOW!”

7:42 am July, 31 Wheezer said...

And ‘Sock, I’m still trying to find your fuccen hidden camera…..
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.
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Bitches.

10:21 am July, 31 schlicht bindenburger said...

borat needs his legs returned at once!

12:06 pm July, 31 Medusa Oblongata said...

Vin Diesel seems to have slimmed down a bit too much. That’s ok, Mariah Carey seems to like it.

3:05 pm July, 31 The Dude said...

Vulvas are boxy but they’re safe.

9:26 pm July, 31 The Dude said...

wtf is this tamiflu nonsense?

11:16 pm July, 31 Guid is Good said...

What’s with this spam – or has someone posted a copy of Heath Ledger’s shopping list?

6:39 am August, 2 fuwppzgfxf said...

HVzDSF yvfdqxtnzakk, [url=http://qhexvahhrqdd.com/]qhexvahhrqdd[/url], [link=http://torlcuphtolq.com/]torlcuphtolq[/link], http://hkmyxhzeralt.com/

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