Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday Haiku

Some men are from Mars;
These women are from Venus.
He’s from Uranus.

His Hardy undies
are lined with Saturn’s rings and
Jupiter’s brown eye.

– Wheezer


These girls look as if
Tropical fish got their wish
To be human Bleeths

– Vin Douchal

Tilted camera
Meant to make scene look edgy
Next time use an axe

– Mr. Scrotato Head

PTP Hottie
On left looks a bit dismayed.
Barbizon School lied.

– Wedgie

Did this bar do right
thing and plant Venus Flytraps
just above the bar?

– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

The Photographer
used a “dutch angle”; but Tim
asked for “dutch rudder”…

– everything but the gonad

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:00 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

His Hardy undies
are lined with Saturn’s rings and
Jupiter’s red eye.

7:00 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

I have long weekend;
stopping in to see if I
still have haiku skillz.

7:01 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Regs’ turnout slowed by
holiday weekend? Figures –
will we hit 30?

7:02 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

His Hardy undies
are lined with Saturn’s rings and
Jupiter’s brown eye.
.
.
.
.
.
Damn me for being too fuccen literal all the time…..

7:07 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

It’s Canada Day!
Is this a Toronto ‘bag?
Corner Yack & Bloorf.

drag queens dead hookers
and gaga think these girls are
cold and synthetic

7:10 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Left chick may be hott;
too much makeup obscures her,
but right girl needs it.

7:11 am July, 1 saulgoode42 said...

Fred was quite proud of
His invention that removes
Eyelids via nips

7:11 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Left hott has a thought:
“Oh crap, this is going on
the Internet now!”

7:13 am July, 1 saulgoode42 said...

Horny Aliens
The theme of my latest song
Check it out, DB’s!

http://www.flamingpie.net/joshgarey/mp3/Josh_Garey-Hot_Young_Stars.mp3

7:13 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Douchebag repulsed by
touch of females, folds arms in;
would rather hug bros.

7:16 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Las Vegas showgirls
canned last week; return home to
Des Moines’ new nightclub.

7:17 am July, 1 idfma said...

Looks like the intro
pic from a Penthouse photo
spread–early 80s

7:18 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Tonight’s music is
By Hardy and the Blow Lips
They crack the rear view

7:19 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Showgirl Skanks Waiting
bottle service is a must
No Goose means No Ass

7:19 am July, 1 idfma said...

Is that a muppet
snake on her left shoulder? Jim
Henson turns in grave

7:19 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

These girls look as if
Tropical fish got their wish
To be human Bleeths

7:20 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Hover hand at right
makes me wonder if “Adam”
now post-op madam…..

7:21 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Whatever happened
to Elizabeth Berkeley
from saved by the bell.

7:23 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Jesse Spano was
An All American Girl
Now has been showgirl

7:23 am July, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Three Thai lady boys
Two in costume one without
Dream of Gaga’s clit

7:23 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

^ Has-been^

7:26 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Ron Popeil Junior
Shows results of do at home
Ronco Sex Change Kit

7:27 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Run-of-the-mill scrote,
Maybelline mamas think they’re
going places. NOPE!

7:27 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Bartender douchebag
Reminds to not suck lemons
Those are for cocktails

7:29 am July, 1 Colossus of Choads said...

Hibiscus hotties,
hang on hairy-armed honcho,
hairless head hates you.

7:30 am July, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Burn off the tattoos
Trash label clothes, lose the ‘tude
All that’s left is poo

7:30 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Shirt make me look gay?
No, but you did the makeup
That’s what makes you gay

7:32 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

July 4th weekend;
Firecrackers up his ass not
first explosion there.

7:34 am July, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

In a couple years
This pic will serve to remind
He sucked ass then, too

7:38 am July, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At latest hot spot
Trying to look relevant
Will pose at pool next

7:38 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Can we hit 40?
That’s haiku total, not when
they get better jobs.

7:41 am July, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tilted camera
Meant to make scene look edgy
Next time use an axe

7:42 am July, 1 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Gershon’s breasts bigger
Gaga’s tits more talented
Scrote settles for less

7:42 am July, 1 Wedgie said...

PTP Hottie
On left looks a bit dismayed
Barbizon School lied.

7:44 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Carmen Miranda
bore less fruit on her head than
what we’re seeing here.

7:49 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Doug used bar back tips
for the night to pay to pose
with his co-workers

7:53 am July, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good to see Wheezer
back for Haiku Friday. Too
Bad it’s for short time.

7:54 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Thanks Doc, and yes, it’s
today only – working day
shift’s good for me, though.

7:55 am July, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Cartoon man on sign
shows only way to save self
from this wretched scene.

7:56 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Doc has a winner^!
Lots of others here as well;
I just have volume.

7:57 am July, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did this bar do right
thing and plant Venus Flytraps
just above the bar?

7:58 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

^^Doug posted to Facebook:
“yo ladeez hit me up u
cud get lucky 2”

8:02 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Screwed up my first line^:
“Doug posts to Facebook” better;
haiku may still suck.

8:03 am July, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wheezer is modest
genius when it comes to the
haikus. I suk rocks.

8:06 am July, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Brain wave detector
behind bar shows all we knew
was true of these three.

8:07 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

“Who loves ya, baby?”
Telly Savalas’ great-“niece”
wants to suck something.

8:07 am July, 1 everything but the gonad said...

The Photographer
used a “dutch angle”; but Tim
asked for “dutch rudder”…

8:08 am July, 1 the douche is alright said...

Is that Katinka
Ingabogovinana?
Douchebag can’t read good

8:13 am July, 1 Master Pee said...

Crazy-eyed Gina
Boobies holstered in tit sling
Will eat your soul whole

8:15 am July, 1 Master Pee said...

Ima cross my arms
so as to be really cool
for my douche license

9:34 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

The comments are back!
DS1, also “The Hoss,”
saved them from Limbo!

9:44 am July, 1 Jeet Kune Douche said...

transexual gang
at a cheesy vegas bar
pre-op and anxious

9:49 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

i tilt to the left,
tattoo magnetism draws me
like moth to blue light

10:29 am July, 1 DarkSock said...

I’m firing myself
WordPress Fail, damn you to hell
DarkSockDickSuckPost

10:46 am July, 1 'Daggerbagger said...

Hey I know that guy!
Wait, no I’m wrong
Thank.God.

1:08 pm July, 1 Steve L. said...

pic has the color
of television, tuned to
a dead channel. scums.

12:54 pm July, 2 TrikkyMakk said...

http://iamtrouble.com/

12:23 pm July, 3 E. Keith Owens said...

It is the sixth planet outward from the Sun…At a distance of some 900 million miles Saturn is almost twice as far from the Sun as the planet Jupiter…From Saturn the Sun appears ten times smaller than it appears from Earth. An average area on Earth receives 90 times the amount more sunlight than the same area on Saturn…Being farther from the Sun Saturn is much colder than Jupiter with an average temperature around 285F…Somewhat like our Solar System of which it is a part Saturn has its own system including spectacular rings and the second greatest collection of moons in the Solar System including the second largest moon in the Solar System…The planet is named for the ancient Roman god of agriculture.

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