Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

Lookout, fellow ‘bag hunters!!

Douchetatts are now mutating and creating hybrid strains of ‘bag signifiers, demonstrated here by Antonio’s strange Unearned Dog Tags Tatt.

Masquerading under the tropes of military masculinity, the faux warrior with the chin pubes disgraces us all.

The ladies aren’t A-List, but what the hell, it’s Friday.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB CD of the Week: “Well, I went home with the waitress, The way I always do. How was I to know? She was with the Russians, too.”

Think Unearned Dogtags Tatt is Douchey? How about the Douchiest Tatt in All of Creation.

Speaking of douchey tatts, the actual Ed Hardy is writing a memoir. No word on if large pictures of tigers and thorny roses will be used to signify the angst of Mr. Hardy’s childhood.

And speaking of Hardy, reader Chris sends in this ‘tag of a disturbing discovery in a suburban mall parking lot.

The latest in one-joke blogs: Animals Being Dicks. One joke blogs are so lam… oh wait.

Pop Pear Quiz: There is a dog driving that car.

Here’s a cartoon that depicts the long period of ostracization that Ubiquitous Red Cup has faced from the rest of the chalice class.

Hot Llamas with Michelle Bachmann.

But you are not here for annoying politicians with oh so sexy llamas. You are here for beautifully concentric circle Pear. Enjoy:

Shallow Lake Pear.

Like two large orange slices being dropped into a bathtub.

Crack open a bottle of the Mad Dog. For the Weekend is ‘ere.

# posted by douchebag1
1:04 pm July, 29 tall guy said...

Ohhh! That Rolex tatt? WTF!!!!!! Kill me now.

1:20 pm July, 29 YA said...

Is that Miss La Plante?

1:23 pm July, 29 Fatness said...

I don’t think I’ve ever seen underwire bikini bottoms before…

1:25 pm July, 29 Devil's Advocate said...

Hypothetical question: What if you actually served in the military, and got your dog tags tattooed around your neck? Is that still considered autodouche?

1:36 pm July, 29 Stephanie said...

The title of the Ed Hardy book will be “Suckers”
Love Warren Zevon…he started out as Lyme & Cybelle in 1966 kids…

1:48 pm July, 29 Wheezer said...

YA (1:20 p.m.), that’s what I thought as well. But I think we need closer inspection, and here’s how y’all kin do it:
.
1) Scroll down the left hand side of the page, just below the “Hall of Pear”
2) If you can get yourself past those links, then just below that section, you’ll find “Ass Pear LaPlante” and a few links there
3) Gaze upon her delectable cheeks in all 6 links and compear—–errrrr, compare (hey, it’s an anagram) to the Friday Pear pic of today
4) Whilst gazing, click the link for Vin’s tune – you need ambiance, after all
.
Following these steps could result in carpal tunnel syndrome, but you can’t sue me since I just warned ya.

2:05 pm July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That posted picture is the cast of the Munsters: 2011(Jane’s Addicted). The cast from L-R, Cousin Slit, Eddie Navarro, Methphisto.
.
Sweet Rolex. Almost as nice as mine except for the 3-D effect mine has and I don’t wear it cause I don’t.
.
That dog was giving that little girl as ripe barbed-cock spanking, ayight.
.
Michelle Bachmann is a shameless cunt. Her husband will pray the gay out of that dirty horse.
.
I’m drunk and the Mrs. is horny with a large monthly paycheque for my troubles. Off to PornHub for encouragement. Tally-Ho!
.
Vampires

3:10 pm July, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

I liked dog driving car pear better.

3:13 pm July, 29 Anonymous said...

Recycling LaPlante? Why not? Nothing wrong with perfection…

3:15 pm July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dark Sock has been identified.
.

3:24 pm July, 29 Freddie said...

I love Warren Zevon. My dad introduced him to me as a kid, and I remember listening to the record spin out “Charlie’s Medicine” when I was, what? 8 years old? 1981?

Charlie dealt in pharmaceuticals
Charlie used to sell me pills
Yesterday his sister called to tell me
He’d been killed
Charlie had to take his medicine
Charlie got his prescription filled
I came to say goodbye
I’m sorry Charlie died
I came to finish paying my bill
I came to finish paying my bill
I came to finish paying my bill
I came to finish paying my bill

Saw him live at the Park West in Chicago when he was solo, and not yet diagnosed with lung cancer. Hell of a songwriter.

And a FITTING FUCKING tribute to a Friday night as I reach for the rum bottle.

Fuck douchebags.

4:35 pm July, 29 Linemanbag said...

Lake pear is nasty. What the hell did she inject into her ass? A nice pear has no lines. Just smooth, round curves. Running out of good pear pics DB?

5:05 pm July, 29 Pear said...

The time on that Faulex was 4:20, yo! Do you think it was A.M. or P.M.?
.
.
.
Me for Hall of Pear

5:31 pm July, 29 Douchie Arnaz said...

She’s little in the middle, but she’s got much back.

6:25 pm July, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Rolex tattoo: My initial reaction was, “Ohhhh, no! Oh, God, no!” then I thought to myself, “Well, damn, that is a fucking amazing tattoo, I wonder, did he pick that whole thing with a three liner or what? I wanna shake that dude’s hand. And then I wanna dick-punch the asshat that got it.”
.
Shallow lake pear=Bleccch. I’ve seen better back ends in the junkyard.

6:49 pm July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I thought that was a good tattoo of a Rolex as well. Not that I know shit about tats except the ones other people have. Ya ever call that shitty PC Care option thing you have with somebody for $2 a month and ya call them and they are fucked. Well that didn’t happen to me tonight. However I did get stoned and drunk and violent in the time it took for them to take over my computer and fix the fucking shit out of it. Not violent at them though. Well while you’re online and on the phone to get all the old anti-aircraft shit out of the computer and then they have to uncorrupt of few files and folder and shit the day after you had ten people over for your famous cool and delectable signature summer dinner of gazpacho and booze and salad and vichysioisse with cold chicken breast calabrese and everybody hated your fucking cold bland potato and leek soup the ungratious fucksticks. Well I fucking know and while I was sitting in front of these computers in front of me I had nothing to do except watch Vienna control my keyboard like a prom date on a crooked circumsized cocck. Jesus-sized that is. So my parents and in-laws aren’t welcome for supper anymore and my computer is almost as fast as my ferret. And I found this on some funny site. Read the label.
.
http://www.m90.org/video/64720/Belladonna_gets_milked_by_a_lesbian_friend_/
.
I thought it was hilarious and semi-boner producing.

7:16 pm July, 29 Doucheywallnuts said...

Regarding the alleged ass pear that appears in this week’s Friday Thoughts and Links; six-packs are only desirable in the abdominal region. I like my ripple in a cheap, screw top bottle, not on the ass of a bleeth.

7:25 pm July, 29 Doucheywallnuts said...

BTW, all time Butterface on the right.
.
Kimosabes

7:29 pm July, 29 Doucheywallnuts said...

Spelling “vichysioisse” while drunk and stoned is quite commendable.

8:34 pm July, 29 DarkSock said...

Here you go, Reverend: some hot German scat action:
fgh

8:38 pm July, 29 Steve L. said...

holy shit i actually like dog-driving pear better too.
.
Mr. Biggs

8:38 pm July, 29 DarkSock said...

And some hot pussy-on-pussy action:
s

8:48 pm July, 29 Steve L. said...

douchebags need to tattoo hot chicks on themselves. that way we know that they can’t afford hot chicks.
.
wait that’s not how it works is it?
.
FUCK

8:53 pm July, 29 Steve L. said...

@ DarkSock right above me,
if reincarnation exists, i’m gonna have to reincarnate as a no-good trouble-makin’ black cat.

9:43 pm July, 29 The Dude said...

Every time I click on this thread, the gal on the right seems a bit more exposed, like she’s twisting and twirling her gwirlihood™ just for me™

10:19 pm July, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Right chick has a pretty nice bod overall, I’d use her as a studio model.

DarkSock….somebody peed in that dog’s ass. As for the cat, well, the broad’s wearin’ something akin to a catsuit, so what did she expect? I bet somebody gets declawed next week…

10:21 pm July, 29 Ted Brogan said...

Ok, so maybe not A-list, but they seem quite nice. Better than quite a number of the girls on here. Wait, have I been drinking too much again??

10:24 pm July, 29 Ted Brogan said...

Seriously. The girl on the right has a hot bod for sure. The sunglasses may be hiding something, but I don’t care.

8:19 am July, 30 Boner said...

I am here but the pear was kinda weak this week.

8:24 am July, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

I kinda feel bad for Ubiquitous Red Cup.
.
Pop Pear Quiz: Pear FTW!!, Shallow Lake Pear? not so much.

10:05 am July, 30 The Dude said...

I can’t find the dog in that pic.

10:17 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

That must be some freakish bad angle for shallow lake pear, because dammit people those are the glutes of ASS PEAR LAPLANTE.
.
Perhaps a better angle will help you re-ASSess your position?
dszzzzzzzzzz

10:29 am July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ms. Laplante,
.
Since you may be a french-canadien (see how I don’t capitalize that), I invite you to attend Druid circle at the Kroeger Plantation very close to quebec. There will be lots of smokes, Pepsi, Labatt’s 50 and Laurentide, weed, nude wrestling in the kids blow up pool, corn, and all the BBQ you can eat. The price of admission is one full reverse body rub with Nuri oil and a happy ending after Mrs. Kroeger passes out from sunstroke.
.
Follow the 401 to Kroeger’s Corner. Turn left towards the river on Plantation Road. Stop at the river. Go left 2 miles until you see the giant Wickerman behind a house with fake turrets. Proceed to Wickerman and look for the guy with the big cock.

10:32 am July, 30 Justin said...

Yup. Those are not ripples in LaPlante’s pear, they are reflected light rays! I know those water reflected light rays well. I spent a good 6 hours of a day at the beach studying those rays. It was probably the LSD.

12:58 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Exhibit B. And I would eat a corn dog out of Ms. LaPlante’s butt. Preferably beef, although I’d consider pork. But not turkey. I have standards. OK, I’d eat a turkey corn dog out of her butt also.
ew

1:00 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Exhibit C: DAYUMMM.
erfe

8:00 pm July, 30 creature said...

^ can I wear that as a tight neck collar? …please

8:55 pm July, 31 military bag hunter said...

the unearned dog tags thing drives me fucking crazy

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