Thursday, July 21, 2011

Gorgeous Nicole Let Her Defenses Down for a Second, and D.J. Suckacrack Was There

In an instant.

For vile and rancid cheek lickage was what D.J. Suckacrack did. Since the Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs circuit had stopped hiring his mediocre skillset.

And somewhere above the hills of Gallelei, the Twin Gods of Thunder (Quet’zota and Joe) gnashed their teeth and sent a monsoon to wipe out a village in southern Africa as retribution for the sins of the human race.

# posted by douchebag1
1:44 pm July, 21 tall guy said...

The Heathen’s shirt is an abomination as well.

1:50 pm July, 21 DarkSock said...

Minus 2 points on her for the unforgivable and ever-annoying “duck face”. No, dear, it does not make you look vogue. Just…dorky. Comicon dorky.
qwer

1:52 pm July, 21 Wedgie said...

^In her defense, it might be an involuntary pucker. Her starfish is likewise clenching furiously.

1:53 pm July, 21 tall guy said...

(It’s all about shirts with me today – first Asian Kevin and now DJ Suckacrack, what gives?)

1:53 pm July, 21 schlicht bindenburger said...

fucktard is sure gonna regret that tatt when he is 85 and some old broad in the home mistakes it for an age spot, and wants to try her new cream on it!

1:55 pm July, 21 Tina said...

She’s doing kissylips. She’s totally into this. I think there were no defenses to begin with in the first place. Bone on, DJ Suckacrack. She’s dumb enough to let your retardly shaved head kiss you…

1:57 pm July, 21 tall guy said...

Maybe the duckface conceals a mouthful of beer that she’s about to drench (read degrease) DJ putrid, oil-soaked hair with.

1:57 pm July, 21 tall guy said...

DJ’s

2:45 pm July, 21 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hopefully, he isn’t like a zebra mussel, or it’ll take quite a while to get rid of him…

3:25 pm July, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’m not thinkin’ she’s hot. She looks fried and I’ll bet she has more miles on her than The Bandit’s Gold Trans Am. Her duckface with fucface says it all.

4:10 pm July, 21 Vin Douchal said...

I concur with my esteemed colleague D Wallnuts.
.
She’d be a great Cape Cod date night starting with inhaling a dozen oysters washed down with a tweaky local micro-brew then a BJ in the car as I drive us to a My Morning Jacket concert, followed up with a 2-4:30 A.M. pummel fucking that cracks the wooden bed frame with much writhing that lands us somewhere near the fridge so I can pull out the whipped cream and empty the Co2 into my lungs as I drizzle my last drop of jizzledeegoo on her cute cheek sockets. Eh?
.
.
I’m going to the Cape without the old lady next week. Maybe I’ll run into Nicole.

4:11 pm July, 21 idfma said...

Where was this picture taken? It looks like they are standing outside the lunchroom of the local high school. Even though she looks about 40, and he has that ageless quality that comes with stupidity. At least he has that quality that says he isn’t spending any time in school.

5:11 pm July, 21 Geoffrey said...

http://youtu.be/Kaes3feWfXU

6:13 pm July, 21 Reg said...

^Zyzz dry humping his fat dog was not cool.

6:33 pm July, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin
Head to Cahoon Hollow Beach and you just might meet a Nicole

6:46 pm July, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This picture leaves me with no alternative than to speak to it in allegory.
.
These are the names of the sons of Israel. Accompanied by their households were with Jacob the houses of Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah. Issacher, Zebulun and Benjamin. Dan and Nepthali, Gad and Esher. The total number of descendants of Jacob was a lot and they resided in Egypt. Anyway the point is these are all descendants of Abraham, founder of the Christian, Jewish, and Moslem religions. So we all had to get our foreskins cut the fuck off to ruin our pleasure and as a sign of obedience to God, or G_D, or that fucker Allah.
.
So we all know the rest of the shit. Noah is dead, the Prophet or Christ or Jehovah or whoever the fuck caused a finite amount of hot shit to explode into an ever increasing in size universe which will eventually contract as the dark matter cools and we all experience life as rebirth but in reverse to the ultimate existence of a singularity of all singularities and maybe the shit starts over again and the Romans kill lions and shit and the monkeys find the monolith and shit. And Donkey Douche appears again a few times and Fish Slap, fuck Fish Slap, and the hotts all appear over and over. And this website appears for its own brief history in time over and over and over again. Dark Sock gets his boats back. I and some of you return to drugs and rehab thousands of times. Our pissed out bourbon returns and we go from cirrhosis to happy drunks again. Our wives turn skinny again and our daughters remove their tatts and stop swallowing.
.
As the Lord said no to the Israelites and the big four Catholics told us the same stories over an over. Don’t fuck around with sin. An unknown messenger of the Deity who had a meth problem took a trip to the island of Patmos where he was teaching Christ’s word, I think it was in Greece so there was a lot of boy man butt crap going on and he realized the evil that existed before and after the life of Christ or your choice, Might have been fucking Marx Brother’s. I always loved me the ones with Groucho and Lady Firefly. So my cousin goes to Stonehenge and gets this new fucking religion where you don’t believe in religion but you are the religion. So I guess if you believes that you exist in a non-existentailist form you exist if you want to exist and don’t believe in a higher power but the angel’s you are assign take care of your wishes and virtues and financial health and shit.
.
So I looks me at this couple and think where the hell do they fit into my defintion of reality and imagery and religion and shit and I realize that they are those to be Smoot when the Revelation comes. When motals realize that they must accept Christ as the ultimate deity or pursue an eternity in Hell until all shit goes backwards again and you get back to Earth in reverse to unlive all your mistakes. But the theory of relativity denounces the doctrine of Revelation in that one of us who alters the course may alter all. Perhaps the existence of the Grand Deity himself, the Shriner. If the Shrinewr disappears and the pregvious wars do not happen where the fuck am I going to find my dope and cousins to fuck on the side.
.
So I say it this hot day in July before I get stoned and fuck Mrs. Kroeger’s ass for our Fiftenth anniversary.
.
Buddhists

7:37 pm July, 21 Wedgie said...

^Invictus.

8:05 pm July, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^Rev Chad Op. Cit.
.
^^@ Vin I am please to be considered to be esteemed.

8:06 pm July, 21 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

As vile as he is the arm zits up his vileness by a factor of 7.

8:59 pm July, 21 Troy Tempest said...

duckface bleeth, star chiseled douche hair – yuck. There’s more skeez in this picture than Courtney Love’s enema bucket.

9:00 pm July, 21 Troy Tempest said...

There’s more skeeez in this picture than Michele Bachmann’s pill box.

10:28 pm July, 21 Anonymous said...

Judging by his receeding hairline and thinning hair, I’d say he’s 35 and she’s half his age. Boom.

10:37 pm July, 21 Anonymous said...

Yes and um, by the way: They deserve eachother. Quasi Moto wins Sponge Bob with a Face. Big deal.

5:37 am July, 22 Troy Tempest said...

With her ultra-long “bangs” she’s probably CONSTANTLY flipping her head to get her hair out of her eyes. When she goes down on you, it all flops over and it looks like you’re fucking a miniature version of Cousin It up the ass.
.
sheshrashibafriffashrafiff!

12:19 pm July, 22 Anonymous said...

hall of hot

5:12 am July, 23 anonymous said...

SUFFERING SUCKACRACK!

1:04 pm July, 24 Steve L. said...

Nicole better not expose this pic to her portfolio or else she’s not gonna land that modeling deal.
.
yeah once in a while it’s fun to pretend that the modeling industry is the pinnacle of nottadouchedom.

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