Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Hall of Hott: A Vote Is Called

Here’s a vote where we all win.

We’ve seen some tasty hottness pass through our virtual gaze these past few weeks. So it’s time for a vote. Only this quorum call for entrance into our Hallowed Hall of Hott comes with a twist. One could gain entrance. But so could two. Or three. Or even four.

No integrity to this electoral process? Think of it like voting in Florida. Hells, I’ll figure it out once I’m done with these HoHos. Not to mention, this is an all brunette celebration, which also plays to the Ex Mrs.-DB1 fetish list. Although no Semitic librarians in the mix (well, maybe Stephanie). Alas. Can’t have everything.

Here’s your finalists:

Hall of Hott Candidate #1: Perfect Suckle Chomp Salina

Oh Salina.

Confused.

Awkward and insecure in her own perfect suckle chomp body of thigh smack and raisin juggle.

Participating in a strange Mexican Fellini film by way of Jim Jarmusch and John Lurie.

Salina hangs with Old Man Moe.

Old Man Moe was once in a Johnny Cash song.

Face Guy in the background is simply cold.

Together, we find literary value and merit as we stare at an underdressed and barely legal suckle chomp.

It was the breast of times. It was the tush of times.

Salina knows not for whom the boobs toll.

They toll for thee.

Hall of Hott Candidate #2: Bikini Clara from Moped Mike and Bikini Clara

Nose job? Perhaps.

But the pure pinkish hues and palettes of undersuckled feminine skin cry out like wolves at dawn during Algonquin hunting season.

And so we stare from a distance.

And bemoan our lack of income to pay for a 18 dollar Mai Tai and gain thirty seconds of wan smile from Bikini Clara.

But those thirty seconds of wan smile?

They’re enough to power Nissan Leafs.

They’re enough to frak West Virginia and ignore the locals.

For those are the curves even more deadly than castmembers of “Jackass” have recently experienced.

Up and down.

Around and around.

I would paw like play-doh.

Then whimper in a laundry basket.

Hall of Hott Candidate #3: Stephanie from Emperor Hairoheato

Here’s one where crazed Japanese Douche-Hair and sexy mediterranean impossibly ethereal hottness cohabited in all the wrong ways.

For those on the fence, there’s a second pic of Stephanie when Emperor Hairoheato and Stephanie Went to Prom on the hills of the third moon of Yavin.

And while Emperor Hairoheato and Stephanie failed to win the HCwDB of the Week, barely losing to Clifford the Big Red ‘Bag and the Tonya Twins, the hottness and douche hair have both remained in our haunting hallucinatoriums.

But is Stephanie hot enough to gain entrance to the Hallowed Hall of Hott?

Remember, our standards must be high. Our boobie fondle projections, awkward.

One more finalist for your consideration:

Hall of Hott Candidate #4: Arielle from The Fratbrosephus Bros

From all the way back in late 2010 (or 1956 in Internet Years), the stunning Arielle managed to put up with two douche-bros enjoying Smirnoff Ice, a cultural travesty on par with the Tuskegee Experiments.

She did win one of our Hottest Hott of the Year awards, which probably means I should’ve automatically moved her into the Hall of Hott. But I’m lazy, and HTML coding makes me itchy and pulls quality time away from my usual Tuesday afternoon ritual of couch sitting and crotch scratching.

Finally, for your consideration: Arielle offers us the Mayan Eye of Coitus.

That is not to be trifled with.

Better men than I have tried, and ended up spending the rest of their 30s ordering off the dolla menu at a McDonalds in Inglewood.

So them’s your four. Are any enough to gain entrance to our hallowed Hall of Hott? One of them? Two? Three? Or all four?

Vote, as ever, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
11:20 am July, 19 Cool Hand Douche said...

Arielle is Hall worthy

11:27 am July, 19 baffomet said...

Agreed! The only one that is even close to be worthy is Arielle.

11:29 am July, 19 Arielle said...

Me.

11:33 am July, 19 Evil Bert said...

Well if it can’t be me, I’m gonna have to go with Arielle.

11:33 am July, 19 Hermit said...

I would pour a blistering mixture of hot transmission fluid and lactating baby rabbit kidneys over my genitals for a brief glimpse into Arielle’s step-father’s jockey shorts.

11:37 am July, 19 TheRealArielle said...

I’m hot! Your not!

Vote for Arielle!

11:40 am July, 19 Arielle said...

Its you’re not your, idiot.

11:48 am July, 19 Anonymous said...

Salina!!!

11:49 am July, 19 jonezy said...

I have a serious leaning towards Stephanie. A leaning Tower of Boner if you will.
.
I would eat fetid porch meat for the chance to sniff the scent of her nail polish from her discarded kleenex whilst she has a mucus blasting cold.
.
The others. All worthy. I still think Pajama Choad’s Hott is the hottest of all HOH Hotties, but compare any of these girls to Pippy’s Hott for instance- they are all much higher pedigree. They all can enter for all I care- but Stephanie most of all.
.
So, in summation,
BONER.

11:52 am July, 19 wonderdouche twin said...

Clara for all that is Brooke Burns like about her.

11:53 am July, 19 Baron Von Goolo said...

Compare any of these women to your girlfriend, and the answer is yes.
.
Compare any of these women to Elizabeth or Holly or Jasmina or the Holy Blue Triangle, and the answer is no.
.
If we don’t maintain out standards we’re no better than the terrorists.

11:55 am July, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

A no on all counts.
.
Salina is too beefy and looks like she has wacky eye. Bikini Clara is a close call, but her abs are not quite suckleiscious, gnawtastic enough for the HOF, plus her hair hides a significant portion of her face, which always makes me nervous. Stephanie is wearing too many clothes and her position hides too much of the merchandise for us to make a fair assessment. And then there’s Arielle, by all accounts her face is HOF, but being that this is the HOF we don’t get enough of a look to make a fair assessment. Sorry if I am being a no-fun-nick, stickler, but this is the HOF for Pear’s sake…

11:57 am July, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

Arielle for my shoulder-kissing, hair-smelling, lip-licking, lower-back caressing, delicate, romantic sapphic fantasy.

12:00 pm July, 19 Mr. White said...

Arielle for HoH, Arielle + Medusa’s last comment for IOB (inappropriate office boner).

12:03 pm July, 19 Mandouchian Candidate said...

#1Salina- NO based on lazy eye and the fact that she appears to be a non-featured stripper at an Elks Lodge in Broken Bow, NE.

#2 Clara Yes based on that she looks like Elizabeth Banks, but also would do the stuff that Elizabeth Banks probably wouldn’t do.

#3 Stephanie NO- Hall of Cute, maybe, but based on the fact that she is probably still in her teens and (based on stereotype of Hairohito’s ethnicity) still has her hymen.

#4 Arielle YES inspite of an absolute absence of tit, she has that look that says that there are things you have yet to experience that only I can deliver. Plus she has two douches hanging all over her and her phone is out, so she is either calling a third in as a backup plan, or getting ready to shanghai these guys in a casino parking garage. Either way- Aces in my book.

12:05 pm July, 19 banana hammock said...

Candidate #2 FTW … nice side bewb and a torso calling for my Man jelly

12:08 pm July, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Nope. Nope to all 4 . Arielle is close as she looks like Sophia Vergara without the bursting out everywhere boobs, but still no.
.
.
I don’t know if it’s because she’s my type, but Young Mom Carol is way better looking than these bar hags. Behind those beautiful eyes YMC has wisdom on things we don’t know or understand about the wily ways of women.
.
She’d tear me up in the sack then laugh when I called her the next day for another date.
.
Like Francine before her, there’s a little mystery to Young Mom Carol. I dig that
.
.
.
Clown Punchers

12:08 pm July, 19 arielle's 1st lesbo girl said...

arielle

12:11 pm July, 19 Red Headed Woman said...

Only Arielle.

12:13 pm July, 19 dbBen said...

Arielle: Yes

12:15 pm July, 19 TheRealArielle said...

The imperfections are what make me cute and approachable, you female impersonator you.

I’m hot! Your not!
Vote for Arielle!

12:22 pm July, 19 The Dude said...

I’m casting a token vote for Bikini Clara. She has the look and shape of a girl the guys always go after.

What does it take to win? a Majority vote?

12:22 pm July, 19 Colossus of Choads said...

Salina.
Salina.
Salina.
Salina.
Salina.

12:22 pm July, 19 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Arielle for HOH.

Stephanie is too young.

Bikini Clara is just doing this until she can land a spot on an HDNET show.

At 6’3″, Salina exceeds the height requirement for HOH.

Also, the photo of Salina was taken inside of an Arsenschmecken bar in Köln. The man in the balaclava is taking a break from working the Spunkenphister.

12:22 pm July, 19 Colossus of Choads said...

Salina.

12:24 pm July, 19 Southern Scrotic said...

Arielle.

12:33 pm July, 19 DouchYouWannaDance said...

All are nice, but I have to give a definite “No” to Salina and Stephanie (no offense, but the HoH has a higher threshold.)

Clara and Arielle are definitely in a higher league, but still no worthy of HoH, IMHO. Sorry ladies.

If I *had* to pick one, Clara gets the nod for not hanging with a total Douche.

12:37 pm July, 19 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Arielle has my vote. And by “vote”, I mean “boner from hell”.
.
Salina will also get my vote upon the receipt of a pear shot. She certainly has the chops. Oh, ok, fine. Salina gets my vote.

12:38 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

I agree with the Baron’s earlier post suggesting it’s a standards thing. Arielle is fine, although she cleverly overexposes without actually exposing very much. I’d love to see more of her, but that could also be said of Salina and Clara. I found Stephanie not to my taste. She just doesn’t do it for me, her prom picture with that ghastly blue eye shadow and an odd looking mouth specifically. But hey, that’s probably the splinters in my arse talking…
As I’m torn between Clara’s perky tits and Salina’s big ole gal dumbness, I’m going to have to revert to Arielle. She’s hott for sure, but I still question whether she’s HoH material based on one picture.

12:41 pm July, 19 Mad Douchigan said...

Salina for sure! Top of the list!

Arielle comes in a close second.

Stephanie a distant third, although the second pick of her she is looking luscious…

Clara, not a chance, paid-to-pose hot in a plastic body!

12:43 pm July, 19 Troy Tempest said...

I thought Arielle already was HoH. Ariel for sure. Because her eyes say “come hither” which means “get on your knees and service me you indolent lout.” And her loose strap says “I’m not wearing a shoulder boulder holder”. And her cheekbones are saying “Hey – where’s the spooge?” So, yes Arielle for sure.

I would also make a case for Salina. now, Salina has some serious curves, and will likely resemble Ringo’s aunt Jesse when she turns 40, but until then, she’s a wowza binky yum yum, and well deserving of the HoH.
.
The other two chix are NOT HoH material. Oh, and I read Old Man Moe’s mind and he was thinking:
.
I like my women like I likes my coffee…
.
.
.
.
.
chopped up in the fridge.

12:46 pm July, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Fuccen jelly neckbeards picked up in New York:

16 Suspected ‘Anonymous’ Hackers Arrested in Nationwide Sweep

12:48 pm July, 19 SortaDamocles said...

Only Arielle. Her Eye of Coitus could bring down empires

12:52 pm July, 19 justadouchalo said...

Long overdue HoH for Miss Arielle.

1:05 pm July, 19 Douche Springsteen said...

Even with my preference being towards brunettes, I’m not have a hard time with this vote. Arielle. A thousand times, Arielle. Perhaps Salina could sneak in the back door (what?) as well, but if there can be only one, then it is Arielle. Not only is she the hottest, those douches are the douchiest. Perfect HoH material.

1:08 pm July, 19 jk said...

Bikini Clara my vote is.

1:10 pm July, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

DB1 didn’t say anything about a write in candidate so I’m going to reiterate that my vote goes to Layla of “Long Island Bob & Layla
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/06/long-island-bob-and-layla/
.
Also I agree with VIn D Re: Young Mom Carol
.
.
.
.
Pikers

1:12 pm July, 19 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Arielle is the stuff that restraining orders are made of. I guess that’s a yes for her.

1:13 pm July, 19 Bueller said...

Arielle is gorgeous, but she’s an actress…which takes her out of the running for me. That and it appears she plays for the other team…

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2036142/

https://twitter.com/natkelley

That would be a no on all 4 for me Bob.

1:18 pm July, 19 Bueller said...

Also the Bruno Mars Hott:

1:19 pm July, 19 arielle's 1st lesbo girl said...

LAYLA?!?!? she looks like freakin ann coulter

hurl

1:20 pm July, 19 Hermit said...

I can’t understand a no vote for Arrielle, but Vin Douchal’s mention of “type” explains it, beauty is by all means subjective.
Young Mom Carol to me is OK, but nothing near the sheer feminine perfection that is Arrielle, who is after all, “my type:
Brunette, small shapely upwardly mobile breasts, a hint of mysterious semitic, Latina or Mediterranean ethnicity and an ass like a taut, butt-shaven draft mule on Percocet®.
.
On a scale frome one to ten, she’s a strong Spinal Tap eleven.

1:24 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

I second the Slinky Layla nomination.

1:30 pm July, 19 DarkSock said...

dgh

1:34 pm July, 19 Douchie Arnaz said...

My pants just voted for Arielle. There was even a hanging chad….

1:37 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Salina is too fat and stupid looking…even for me.
.
.Bikini Clara is pure, unadulterated, Vegas-paid-to-pose hott……..by which I mean she is highly adulterated, and has me priapically obsessed with adulterous thoughts that I struggle to control even as I struggle to type this with one hand whilst the other is occupied.
.
.Arielle is a small-titted stripper who promises more than she delivers…
.
….and Stephanie, oh Stephanie…you are all that is pure and good and lickable in a 17 year old, untainted package that the world (and your poor choice in men) will soon enough corrupt…turning you from a sweet-natured, slightly shy and inquisitive sexual adventuress into the ingenue star of Clitty Clitty Bang Bang Part 6.
.
.
.Bikini Clara for Hall of Hott on the strength of her highly penetrable hind-quarters and perfect fake, highly buoyant cans that would provide just the levitation and bounce needed for proper anal entry.
.
.
.Whew…
.
.
.
.Any Which Way You Can

1:37 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

You Mom Carol is indeed alright! It’s probably a moot point considering I don’t want kids, but if I did i’d be questioning her booze intake in detail. Also, there’s that unpredictable element of the alcohol-induced rage that I feel almost certain YMC knows only too well. But I’m also almost certain of her potential in the sack. She drain you like a petrol bowser empties a V8 owner’s wallet.

1:38 pm July, 19 Andrew Douche Clay said...

Although all hot and without a doubt, bang-able, none are hot enough to make it into the Hall.

Salina is hot and has the body of a saint, the stupid look on her face will wilt the Hall of Hott of it’s credentials.

Clara…..a JWOW look-alike and certainly would get hosed down like a Texas wilfire, not hot enough.

Stephanie…again certainly would get it but she is too orange and looks too much like her counterpart, Emporer Hairoheato.

Arielle, the hotest of the bunch with her mosquito-bite titties in near view, but again, is she hot enough to make the hallowed Hall of Hott. not in Andrew Douche Clay’s eyes.

1:47 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Sorry….wrong sign off.
.
.
.
.Lawrence of Her Labia

1:52 pm July, 19 Claude Douchenbagger said...

If I must vote for only one I vote for Salina. But I would like to see them all make The Hallowed Hall of Hott

1:52 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The Royal Tenderbuns

1:54 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The Jism of Oz

1:55 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Young Buns
.
.
.Okay, I’m cheating. One more:
.
.My Big Fat Greek Woody

1:57 pm July, 19 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

How Stella Got Her Groove Packed…

2:01 pm July, 19 Hermit said...

Rating women based upon comparative hottness is a completely sexist and degrading thing to do, so without further ado, in order of hottness:
.
.
#1 Arielle, (by a cunt hair)
.
#2 Bikini Clara
.
#3 Perfect Suckle Chomp Salina
.
#4 Stephanie, (is she the Stephanie who comments here? God I hope so)

2:02 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

Hang on. Arielle attended North Sydney Girls High? Well in that case strike all my previous endorsement of her immediately. North Sydney is just down the road from where I live and it, along with the trio-of-horror suburbs named Mosman, Cremorne and (Gawd help us) Neutral Bay, are four of the best reasons I know for avoiding Sydders as your next holiday destination. And since when was Nicole freaking Kidman a reference? What next, Rick Price as mucical muse?

Son.

Get some.

2:02 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

correc: ‘mucical’=musical

2:05 pm July, 19 Collaz B. Popped said...

Bikini Clara has nice naturals,,,this is tough.

Salty fuccen ropes all over Arielle’s jawbone for the win.

2:10 pm July, 19 Geoffrey said...

Salina

2:18 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Salina

2:19 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^She needs the Irish Kolbassa.

2:27 pm July, 19 tall guy said...

Hey Kroeger, here’s the thing, I reacted badly to a post you made a while back and shot off an undeserved arrow at you. I am sorry. It’s a piss poor excuse, and therefore not an excuse, but I am too sensitive and also too insensitive to others. Not all the time, but sometimes. Almost 14 years sober, mate, and still very wilful. The malady lingers. Sorry.

2:49 pm July, 19 joey-joe-joe said...

gotta go with stephanie, for the other 3 seem a bit too open in their douche-ssociations. slithering up between old laps, pressing barely-covered boobs against wank-wads and exposing neck for pseudo-choke-hold are all strikes against admittance to the HoH, in my opinion. stephanie is cute as hell in her somewhat guarded positioning, never seeming too open to share contact with that funky helmet-headed shellac-o-mug. and she is clearly preparing to shove that knee into his groin. that alone deserves a win.

3:08 pm July, 19 Crucial Head said...

Arielle is everything I could ever want in a woman that I lust for over the internet with my pants pooled about my ankles. Everything. The Hall of Hott isn’t even worthy of her to be honest. She’s the hottest girl I have ever seen on this site. Hermits correct about subjectivity, for Lamp’s sake, she’s perfect.
.
Then again, I didn’t vote for half the Bleeth’s that are in the Hall of Hott now.
.
*thumbs through wallet… notices DB1’s Hall of Hott panel membership, granted in 2009…*
.
errrrrr…

3:19 pm July, 19 soy bomb said...

Arielle may be an actress or something, but she is still a human being, is she not? If you cut her, would she not bleed? If you asked her out for “coffee or something,” would she not laugh? If you tied her to a chair, cut off all her hair and left her in the desert all alone, would she not scream? Arielle for HOH.
Never noticed Selina’s lazy eye. Now I can’t take my (good, functioning, non-lazy) eyes off of it. This is not Hall of Hott, The Ozarks chapter, right?

3:21 pm July, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’d like to apologize for my inexcusable lapse in referring to the HOH as the HOF. This is what happens when you engage in more sports talk during the day than puessy talk.
.
That being said, I would like to make a point that getting a boner is not sufficient grounds for voting a gal into the HOH. C’Mon guys think of all the times you’ve gotten boners, were all of them worthy boners? Haven’t you ever been embarrassed by how easily you can be induced into attaining turgidity?

3:25 pm July, 19 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Salina. Definitely Salina.

3:32 pm July, 19 Ultra Bagnus said...

It’s got to be Arielle.

3:37 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ It’s all good Tall Guy.

3:42 pm July, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@DoucheyWallnuts: It’s not as easy as it used to be.
.
.
Unless we’re watching “She’s Not A Lesbian…She’s a Vagitarian,” or “The Legend of Tea Bagger Vance.”

3:57 pm July, 19 Stackhouse said...

Whobag #2

4:00 pm July, 19 Stackhouse said...

@Douchey Wallnuts, what’s a puessy? Why don’t you grow a pair and write out the word pussey.

4:04 pm July, 19 Elwood Blues said...

Arielle FTW.

She has just the right amount of twinkle in her eye that says get me drunk and I turn psychotic in bed.

Which is nice.

4:22 pm July, 19 UFO Destroyers said...

I thought I made an impassioned plea to induct Arielle into the HoH back in the day. I can’t go looking for it because the Missus is nearby.
.
Arielle FTW.

4:23 pm July, 19 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

All 4 get my vote. But I want the D-Bags Photoshopped out of the pictures.

4:27 pm July, 19 Douche ex Machina said...

Easy. My progression through the photos:

Good

Good

Very good.

HOLY SHIT!

Arielle FTW. And by “win” I mean we all win.

4:40 pm July, 19 Rupert Murdoch said...

Write in vote for my wife who saved my old ass from a cream pie this afternoon. Son. And by cream pie I mean.
.
Chink Lovers

4:46 pm July, 19 Rupert Murdoch said...

^ I mean triple anal creampie on BellaDonna. http://hardsextube.com/video/585410/
.
Not safe for fuck all..
.
Perverts

5:02 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

You are one sick fucker old man Murdoch. BellaDonna for Hall of Triple Anal Creampie.
.
I know it was you Nancy Dreuche.
.
Friggin Australians. The only Aussie that finished high school was this guy.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOTlNOZB4Zo&feature=related and Tall Guy

5:15 pm July, 19 Douchelips said...

Arielle

5:36 pm July, 19 ehcuodouche said...

Arielle. Nuff said.

5:54 pm July, 19 Taylor said...

Arielle only
Oh shoulder strap give way and rip already!

5:55 pm July, 19 Massadouchetts said...

Salina – an ancient word meaning “Make a Eunuch do a cock push up”

6:37 pm July, 19 shawk said...

Salina

7:08 pm July, 19 Bob-O said...

Salina is my solution…

7:22 pm July, 19 JBB said...

Sorry, none of them measure up to Hourglass Hot. No inductees here.

7:49 pm July, 19 idfma said...

Salina for H of H. Yo me gusta las latinas!

7:51 pm July, 19 Dicy said...

I never liked Arielle, so if my vote still has any weight to it then a big no to her. I don’t know what it is about her, but she just always bothered me.

I like Stephanie a lot. She’s got a wholesome girl next door look. So YES to Steph!

And no’s to the other two too, yech.

7:54 pm July, 19 One for the Choad said...

Arielle’s the one for me, though I like cornfed Stephanie as well.

8:36 pm July, 19 Wedgie said...

Nathalie Kelley (Arielle) is hot enough, but I think we have some rule about pros in the HOH, don’t we? Otherwise, I want to vote a few pornstars in.
Beginning with Savannah, even though she’s been dead for years.
.
.
.
.
Blowhards.

8:46 pm July, 19 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Clara

8:48 pm July, 19 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Ahhhhhh, Wedgie, thank you for that! I just Googled “Arielle” and now have the perfect opening line if I ever meet her… “So, you were born on March 3rd too, eh?”
.
I am SO in!

9:27 pm July, 19 arielle said...

Arielle all day

9:35 pm July, 19 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I loves me some Salina, but HoH sadly no.
Arielle for the hall.

10:16 pm July, 19 Stephanie said...

Salina,because that poor girl has got to pose with that aging musician.Sheesh,her photo isn’t really as flattering as it could be. See,poor thing…

10:17 pm July, 19 Steve said...

Arielle. She reminds me of that hot spanish chick from Rush Hour 2.

10:37 pm July, 19 Troy Tempest said...

since Arielle is a Pro, I remove my vote for her. I’ll stick by Salina, though. She’s yummy.

11:17 pm July, 19 Only Women Bleeth said...

Salina!

11:44 pm July, 19 jonezy said...

here I thought dicy died in the backwash of the tsunami.?
.
Hawaii will never (always) be the same. i double down on stephanie. literally. with my porch meat forceps
.
short memories duth make HOH!

1:32 am July, 20 Wheezer said...

Arielle may have trademarked the Mayan Eye of Coitus, but given her “pro” status, I think we have to disallow her. And I’m not sure how real Clara’s boobies are – a touch test is needed.
.
I think I’m going to offer a write-in vote for Young Mom Carol, strange boobie imbalance and all. However, all the ladies are now in my spank bank as a consolation prize.
.
.
.
And with apologies to THAT MUTHAFUCKA as I took post #100 once again. Heh heh…..

2:53 am July, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Two-fer:

Bikini Clara

&

Arielle

4:51 am July, 20 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Arielle. All others are pretenders. nuff said

5:43 am July, 20 smackdouche said...

Salina is HOH material

Bikini Clara is probably a stripper, but she’s working her way through Medical School(why are so many strippers working their way through Med school, but so few Doctors are Hott, stripper types?) YES to the HOH for her.

Stephanie, how did you you even get nominated? NO, just thank the Academy for the nomination and then move along.

I’ll freely admit to the glorious all-consuming hottness of Arielle. But there should be a celebrity disqualifier for HOH. I have to vote no. If Arielle is admitted to HOH, then shouldn’t Marisa Miller be nominated as well?

6:44 am July, 20 Anonymous said...

Arielle!

7:14 am July, 20 Düsseldouche said...

Arielle, finally!

7:19 am July, 20 Anonymous said...

Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle! Arielle!
You get it…..

7:25 am July, 20 DarkSock said...

Perhaps my previous post was somewhat cryptic, being that it was only an image of some dude planking a mannequin torso as a clown and a lumberjack looked on derisively. For those of you with the deductive capacity of a butt-shaven draft mule on Percocet®, that would be a vote for Arielle for HoH, as well as a rare I.I.O.B. (involuntary inappropriate office boner) brought about by parliamentary procedural trickery by M. Oblongata.
.
And disqualify Arielle for alleged “pro” status? Pfah. A woman of her pants-prong stiffening status is inevitably going to have money thrown at her just for….being there. It’s like sitting a redneck down next to a barrel full of monkey dicks in front of a gator hole…what happens next is DESTINY.
.
.
.
Ass Ponies.

7:25 am July, 20 DarkSock said...

Also, “porch meat forcepts” FTW.

7:26 am July, 20 DarkSock said...

And furthermore, I nominate Old Man Moe’s shiny pants for HoH (Hall of Haberdashery).
.
You could shine jewelry on them bad boys.

7:48 am July, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Stephanie and Arielle both FTW.

7:57 am July, 20 Anonymous said...

Arielle and Salina

8:13 am July, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

And thanks for doing the vote, DB1! This is a great way of screening the hall of hott candidates.
.
It seems Arielle is a shoo-in unless she is DQ’ed for being a minor celeb. I’m surprised though that others don’t favor Stephanie’s tautness over Selina’s disconcertingly non-tautness which looks great now, but has a half life shorter than a radioactive cheeto before it becomes full-on flab.

8:34 am July, 20 Joey Bagadouchey said...

Bikini Clara, yes, please

8:38 am July, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Poor Arielle, after acquiring all the manners of haute-couture whilst studying at the Sorbonne, she turned herself into une belle la fleur de la Seine. However, being tired of the arthouse French douches, she attempted to find something new by trying to engage some American fratchoads. After all, she presumed, if Lafayette respected their ancestors so much, they couldn’t be that bad?
.
Yet, despite having the curves and beauty of Monet’s most fine paintings, her quest was wasted. And that is why my vote for is Arielle. She stands as a beacon of le beauté autonome et sans limite amongst the dredge of the narcissistic and materialistic douchebaggery that surround like a Blitzkrieg.

8:46 am July, 20 kneejerk said...

Arielle by a slide.

8:50 am July, 20 CountDouchila said...

I vote each for Selena and Clara. Hots that hot deserve respect.

9:42 am July, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Bikini Clara was an early favorite for pure curvaliciousness. But I don’t think you could store her at over 70F, if you get my drift. We must also factor in the grotesquifying features of the associated man. Put together with this guy, she is pure doll object and the attractiveness goes down significantly.
.
That would have put Selena at the top for pure curvy tan humpty hump suckliciousness. And her associated man makes her look more indulgent and pitying than pure object that Clara is.
.
Of course, we can go even more rarefied in our rubric, and go by pure Eye of Coitus, and hope that the curtainy garments are hiding something good. In which case Arielle wins hands down. On that, I would defer to my colleagues.

1:14 pm July, 20 melvil_duchi said...

Arielle

3:18 pm July, 20 Steve L. said...

if we have to introduce one of them to the Hall of Hott, let it be Arielle.
for no reason whatsoever.

3:46 pm July, 20 FoghornLeghorn said...

I’ve spent many nights tossing and turning with dreams about Arielle, since she appeared here. The funny thing is that in these dreams she looks and dresses just like Bikini Clara. I think they both should make the Hall.

6:08 pm July, 20 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

salina is pure bleethy bleethdom in the literal pre-grieco sense.

put her in the hoh, i have nyms, don’t make me do this.

6:25 pm July, 20 Bubba said...

Salina, those may be real.

7:00 pm July, 20 Grand Douchemeister said...

Gotta say it’s Arielle. The other three might be bleethes and despite the hotness, when there’s a non-bleeth candidate, I got to go with her.

7:11 pm July, 20 Matt said...

Hands up, pants down for one and four. They are the gravy on my potatoes, the bread for my sandwich, the vertical sea food tacos for my hungry Mexican guy, the G-spot for my Dicktionary, the…

You get the message.

8:30 pm July, 20 creature said...

the Creatch has to weigh in:
#1 would drive me crazy in the Panamanian wanna hump-hump sailor bar way, but, has that look that says, “I get paid to make you drink way to much tequila, so as you may vomit before becoming a serious threat to my my holey triangle bits” scrumptious yea, HOH nae
.
#2 BAZOOM is all I can think whilst trying to force my head into her paw-paw for some mystical rebirth as I crumsily fondle her enormous Mae West…however, butterface
.
#3 very cute…but for HOH merely cute don’t cut it, ya gots to have that come hither & ravage me quality…sadly not present
.
#4 ROWWWWR! Arrielle has the goods & that naughty glance that makes men empty their bank accounts to pick up the discarded cocktail napkin which she dabbed at the sweat tear cascading down her clevage…she also makes sane men lick their pals stubbly cheeks…HOH yes, yes & yes!!! now excuse me while I strangle an angry garden snake who’s attacking my trouser zipper

8:37 pm July, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

already voted for ARIELLE the last time you ran her pic, so if you don’t mind, then I don’t mind vting for her again.

However, I wouldn’t abandon SALINA in any future HOH votes.. She’s got the kind of roundy curvy bod artists love to render in the nekkid studio situation, not to mention a face to distract from her other assets…and thighs that would strangle a horse. Or maybe Donkey Douche. Tee Hee Haw!

9:14 pm July, 20 creature said...

btw, boss, posted my comment before reading thru thread (particularly funny) as is my wont, so as not to be influenced by the other Droogs!

10:02 am July, 21 SauceOfTheDouche said...

Pro or not, Ariel always gets my antenna up.

The others don’t even come close. Moe doesn’t even want to touch his potential HoH inductee. What kind of douche plays “hover hand” with a bikini clad chick perched over his lap? I’m almost tempted to throw a vote to Salina. But I can’t get past the Lazy Eye (of Coitus?). Makes me think she’d just lie there.

Nope. I standing “firm” with Ariel.

10:57 am July, 21 army (ret) douche said...

bikini clara

12:48 pm July, 21 TheRealArielle said...

Salina? Fucking Salina? WTF guys? She’s got fat arms and chimpmunk cheeks that look like she’s carrying the loads of the last shift of waiters in them.

Okay, cheek*bones*, what-the-fuck-evah.

1:24 pm July, 21 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Arielle – with sweet stephanie a close second.

I would joyfully sacrifice my own genital accoutrements by placing them on a red hot teppanyaki table at the nearest Benihana for the opportunity of having Arielle merely walk by and utterly ignore me. UUUUNNNGGGHHH!!!!!!

6:24 pm July, 21 notadouche said...

Salina.

11:40 pm July, 21 Anonymous said...

Definitely #4. At least she is pictured with good-looking douche bags who don’t shave their chests. Thank God. As for the Smirnoff Ice, they were probably at a Promo. And either way, she is clearly on to greener pastures, text in hand. Points for beautiful intelligence.

2:32 am July, 22 the motley douche said...

Ok, I know I’ve been slacking in the douche mock and hottie worship as of late, but what the hell happened to this site? I turn my back for a few months, come back and read unsubstantiated drivel like “Arielle is the only hott worthy of the hall” followed by “Salina has fat arms”?!? Are you people nuckin’ futs?!?

Please refer to the wisdom belonging to none other than Hall of Mock member Troy Tempest.

Salina is all that is right with the world. I would tug on Superman’s cape, spit into the wind, pull the mask of the ol’ Lone Ranger, and yes…even mess around with both Jim and Slim just for the chance to awkwardly bump into her at the bar while she’s trying to order an Amaretto Sour and I have to order 4 shots of cheap tequila just to forget the fact that she wasn’t even in my league when I was in my prime.

7:33 am July, 22 mr.reeve said...

I can’t decide. So I vote for all 4. And by vote for all 4 I mean boner.

8:05 am July, 22 Blinded by the Shite said...

Arielle FMW, and by FMW I mean For My Weiner.

7:02 am July, 24 DamonTheDeamon said...

Arielle is def Hall worthy!

7:03 am July, 24 DamonTheDeamon said...

and her Smirnoff Ice too!

9:07 am July, 25 Tits McGee said...

Salina if I HAD to pick one… pretty weak showing at this year’s running of the no-self-respect-having derby…

10:40 am July, 26 Hurl Scheibe said...

Arielle and Salina, lazy eye or no lazy eye.

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 15 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)