Wednesday, July 20, 2011

HCwDB After Dark


C’mon in!! It’s HCwDB After Dark!!

Grab an air-beanbag and pull up a seat by the Grecian fire pit.

Would you like a mint julep? I made them myself from real mint juleps.

Try one of the crab cake pastry puffs. It’s a family recipe. We call them “Crab Cake Pastry Puffs.”

Mmmm… good, right?

It’s After Hours Fleur de Lis time. Whatever you desire.

Where we mix our postmodern filmic references like so many late night Tarantino post toe suckle hallucinations.

But the ‘Slap Donkey Douche is still out there.

Still posing for pics.

Fighting the Douche Fight so the rest of us can mock onward until dawn…

EDIT: I’m so drunk on my own Juleps, mixed up my Hall of Scroters for a minute there.

# posted by douchebag1
4:12 pm July, 20 I See Orange People said...

I think that’s Donkey Douche!

4:27 pm July, 20 boone doggle said...

The Donk don’t care. He’s Nasty.

4:31 pm July, 20 Steve L. said...

holy shit HCwDB After Dark now has mint juleps?
take the mint and juleps out of the bourbon and i’m gonna be blind before midnight.

4:31 pm July, 20 Douchetastic said...

The Donk don’t give a shit!

4:46 pm July, 20 Al Paccah said...

Esta el Burro de Massengil.

Hola Senior!

5:00 pm July, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

Looks like the boss had a few Mint Juleps prior to posting this. I mean how else can you explain him confusing the Donkster with FishSlap?
.
.
.
Slapnuts

5:07 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

Pit Stains After Dark

5:08 pm July, 20 DJ Inphinity said...

That’s the Donker.

But, Fuck Fish Slap anyway!

5:09 pm July, 20 DJ Inphinity said...

Looks like the barber of Donk’s butt buddy slipped with the hair clippers. Just sayin’.

5:09 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

He’s such a douchebag even his pit stains smell like Axe. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:11 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

He’s such a douchebag his V-neck T-shirts plunges lower than his bleeth’s. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:12 pm July, 20 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

You’re slippin’ DB1. As mentioned by our earlier comrads, that be the Donk, not (f–k) Fish Slap.

.

Completely understandable though Boss; eventually they all just blend into a morbid heap of wasted bourbon and semen. Donk. Slap. Does it really matter?.. I say no.

.

Hell, my eyes melted away long ago due to the toxic Axe fumes that have seeped through my screen via the website.

.

I only knew it was the Donk because he has the most peculiar Braile pattern for his moobs; (f–k) Fish Slap has a much more symmetrical formation.

.

Too much information?

.

Well, fuck you guys; you took my vision, braile man boobs is all I have left!!!!

.

.

*sobbing uncontrollably while twisting the Donk’s nipple braile*

5:17 pm July, 20 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I thought Donk was in prison. He’s like sentient, ambulatory herpes. Dude just keeps coming back.

I’m using sentient in the meanest possible terms, here. Donk’s like a chimp with a mirror, I mean, he’s self aware I guess, to a certain point. I wouldn’t say he understands not to fling feces, though.

5:17 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

He’s such a douchebag even his tattoos use Winstrol-V. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:18 pm July, 20 Bromancing the Choad said...

Donk’s pits secret undiluted Drakkar Noir.

5:18 pm July, 20 hermit android thumbs said...

My nipples were hewn from the finest seasoned mahogany and my teeth were designed for tearing the flesh from chicken bones, yet I still find myself lacking long term satisfaction, often seeking solace from undisciplined livestock.

5:20 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

He pays for bottle service but still drinks from red plastic cups. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:22 pm July, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

In his presence all women become suckle, gnaw bleeths and other men look like balding, paunchy creepers. He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:43 pm July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He hangs around with circus sideshoe freaks. Particularly the one with the fright mask. Ayeeeh! He’s the most interesting douchebag in the world.

5:57 pm July, 20 wgas said...

@Hermit, mooo.

6:10 pm July, 20 Diablitos said...

That ain’t the Slap, Lance, that’s the Donk. Don’t make me slam your head against a telephone pole until you reveal Patchett’s involvement.

6:28 pm July, 20 wgas said...

Oh yeah, fully penetrate FishSlap repeatedly, slow at first and then with increasing speed. Occasionaly pull his hair, and if he looks like he’s into it, choke him lightly. Follow up with a slap on the ass and then a shower. Wash. Rinse. And then Repeat.

6:37 pm July, 20 wgas said...

If FishSlap drops a handercheif, pick it up and return it to him. Gaze meaningfully into his fishy eyes. Throw your jacket over a puddle for him to walk across. Take him back to your rambling estate. Have mint juleps on the veranda. Laugh at his stupid stories. Watch the sunset together on the distant horizen. And then fuck the shit out of him in the pantry. Serve toast points and raspberry jam for dessert.

6:57 pm July, 20 wgas said...

Compliment FishSlap on his latest V~neck sweater purchase. Tell him it really accentuates his moobs. Tell him how you enjoy his use of muscle performance enhancing drugs. Tell him you’re into tiny balls. Back this up by presenting him with a pair of marbles. Ask him about his latest tattoo of a star inside of another star. Freak out with him on the trippyness of it. Explain to him that the TV in your bedroom works way better than the one in your living room. Move to the bedroom. Listen to him attentively as he rambles on about how a lot of people think he’s a douchebag, but in reality he’s just an every day guy with the same fears and wants as all of us. Tape his mouth shut and then repeatedly pack his fudge bags for a trip to Homoslavia. Untape his mouth. Make him a sandwich and then call him a cab.

7:14 pm July, 20 Joey Bagadouchey said...

Still pullin quality tail, though

7:40 pm July, 20 wgas said...

Take FishSlap by the hand and then lead him to the dancefloor. Boogie down with him to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”. Participate in a conga line together. C’mon, you only live once, and hopefully so does the Slap. Buy the Slap an Appletini, then buy him 12 more because dude is a heavyweight. Tell him you have something shiney to show him in your car. Bang the shit out of him in the back seat of your Honda Civic. Make sure you got your hand stamped so you can return to the club afterwards. Lose FishSlap during “The Hustle” when the ensueing madness of line dancing takes over.

8:17 pm July, 20 Al Paccah said...

Fish Slap and Donk are both from Chicago, so its easy to confuse them.

I pray they are the last of the vermin to come from here so as to not soil this great city further.

8:18 pm July, 20 Stephanie said...

Four crap nuggets.

8:26 pm July, 20 Troy Tempest said...

The donkster would lose at checkers playing against a dead SKAWURRREL!. and there ain’t too much more stupid than a dead squirrel.

8:41 pm July, 20 Jeff said...

@Stephanie, will you marry me?

8:45 pm July, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Good to see ‘ole Donk can go from incarceration in the Hoosegow right back to his old Douche Club ways. I wonder if he has replaced the 5 KG of pot he was keeping at his pad?

9:01 pm July, 20 wgas said...

Hey wait, that’s not even FishSlap! That’s freakin’ Donkey Douche. That puts a whole new spin on things. Isn’t D.D. in jail though? This has to be an older pic. Because as we speak Donkey Douche is having his buttocks compromised by a large African American gentleman by the name of IcePickMurderKillDawg in cell block C.

9:08 pm July, 20 wgas said...

So if we slap FishSlap with a fish, does that mean we douche a donkey with Donkey Douche? Who here is qualified to douche horses? I mean is there anyone out there that has experience in the equine anal/vaginal arena?

9:16 pm July, 20 creature said...

The Donk sweats mule piss…’cause he’s randy like that!

9:25 pm July, 20 creature said...

@wgas 9:08
google DarkSock

3:41 am July, 21 'Daggerbagger said...

Donkster. Still ultra douchy. Dem bleeths still ultra bleethy. Still crankin them rosaries .Chin goatee still disgusting. Smile still smuggin calculated 10degree face-tilt smirkyness.

3:48 am July, 21 Guid is Good said...

Looks like the Donk-meister still digs the Hotts – even after a bit of that good prison lovin’.

6:09 am July, 21 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I like the way you bring us hard working bleu-collar working hotts. They’re about to take out the poo.

6:37 am July, 21 douchedeleche said...

“late night Tarantino post toe suckle ” awesome so you did read that story!

7:22 am July, 21 Al Paccah said...

My guess is that 95% of the Choads that are rocking the Rosary bling dont even attend Church.

7:27 am July, 21 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Thanks fuckers. Reading this thread this morning has me grinning from ear to ear. Excellent stuff.

9:09 am July, 21 Phil said...

fuck fishslap

10:56 am July, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

These old pics of the Donk still float around the web like an empty Marlboro pack down Michigan Ave. in the Chicago wind. He’s still a guest of the Dupage D.O.C.

http://inmatesearch.dupagesheriff.org/new_inmate_details.asp?txtInmateNum=200408&txtInmateID=0LJLFBQ000DUP30U

11:18 pm July, 21 Anonymous said...

Yes, Doucheywallnuts…
Pit Stains and Smee out with Butterface and Pancake Face for “a night on the town,” including graveyard breakfast at your local Denny’s. Gram Slam.

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