Monday, July 25, 2011

HCwDB of the Week: The Broctopus and Party Girl Melinda

Last week saw us traverse the superdoucheroic pathways from Superpud to Spider Tool. We had Loafheads and Gorgeous Nicole costing DJ Suckacrack a shot at the Weekly due to Duckface Violation #45.

We had a debates about Hall of Hott Inductees as well as Tattoo Autobaggery.

But for classic ab-douchery in a bar with bemused hot chickery, nothing came close to the Broctopus and Melinda. And then the Broctopus put on Nerd Glasses and it got even more stupid.

For stupid hair, stupid face and all around Constitution violating pukebaggery in presence of slutty bar hott, while Kevin just wants to order a Corona Light, the Broctopus and Melinda are our winners (losers).

Chalk up their lameness for the next Monthly.

And your humble narrator for a second bowl of Frosted Flakes and Kenya AA Keurig-style. Because that’s how I roll.

# posted by douchebag1
6:53 am July, 25 Hurl Scheibe said...

Anonymous is NOW Hurl Scheibe.

Please do not adjust your sets.

We return you now to our regularly scheduled programming.

7:23 am July, 25 Captain Sarcasmo said...

At first I was like, the Broctopus looks good. He’s got nice abs and a sweet sport coat/jean combo going on. And the in the second pic he put glasses on and I was like, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. He musta went to Harvard. I can’t handle it. How can this happen? He’s like three times as hot now. If I was to guess his profession me thinks he is somehow involved in the library sciences.
.
Asian Kev for HOH.

7:26 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kenya AA Keurig-style is some great weed.

7:32 am July, 25 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Pretty good choice for the week given the host of losers on offer…

7:54 am July, 25 Devil's Advocate said...

Buttmunch.

9:24 am July, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

I like the way she squats. Knees together and all.

9:44 am July, 25 The Dude said...

She squats like that because she needs a wider butt plug.

10:05 am July, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

I guarantee that the carpet does not match the drapes, as for her I’m not so sure.
.
.
.
Wait… What?

10:32 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

She’s doing the “Olestra Squat”. It’s also best to exhale a little when you do that so as not to invite and embarassing wave of oily goodness by tigthening your duodenum .

10:33 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

typo city ^

10:35 am July, 25 tall guy said...

She’s full-on bleeth, but somewhat rare in that I’m fairly well attracted to her. However my ‘attraction’ is based purely upon delivery of my pork sword, and as such an irritating figment of my imagination. So fuck her.

11:17 am July, 25 Troy Tempest said...

Melinda says: I touch him right THERE and his belly button PUKES! It’s so CUTE! (giggles)

4:59 pm July, 25 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

SHe’s doin’ the “Betty Boop Squat” and he’s showin’ off his
a) Mock Turtle abs from Alice in Wonderland
b) Bluegrass washboard abs from the local hillbilly festival
c) Terraced garden plots for bluegrass
d) Speed bumps for circling jerks

5:01 pm July, 25 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Better watch those Frosted Flakes, DB1, they’re full of high-fructose corn syrup.

8:04 pm July, 25 Douchie Arnaz said...

Vin D FTW: Olestra Squat. I plan on using (and doing) that all the time now.

5:34 pm July, 27 cocopuff said...

wow. that’s a lot of jersey.

Leave a Reply

What is 14 + 3 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)