Monday, July 25, 2011

Kettlehead is Not Impressed by the HCwDB of the Week

HCwDB’s 2009 non-legend The Kettlehead, whose singular eyebrow and propensity to wear strange headgear to impress the ladies, and occasional ability to go The Full Khan, is still out there.

Still arching his singular douchebrow.

Okay, I’m not even 100% convinced this is Kettlehead. But singular arch eyebrow and zebra-striped flattop for the collective mock.

And is that Mister Liptatt’s Hall of Hott winning Holly? I don’t think so, but I’ll need to stare lustily for an hour in an awkward and potentially pathological way anyway.

Speaking of Kettlehead eyebrow, an eagle-eyed reader noted that, amidst the chaos in the tragic Norway bombing over the weekend, at least one douchebag made sure to call his bros to let them know he was okay.

As Primo Levi once wrote, “Even in tragedy, we can find douchebags to mock.”

# posted by douchebag1
10:11 am July, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

So much to mock, so little time…

10:14 am July, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

That is not a flattering pic of Holly if it is indeed Holly, as for Kettlehead or his doppelganger which I think is the case he’s nothing but a low rent Kettlehead and that’s saying something.

10:28 am July, 25 Claude Douchenbagger said...

I would like to mock Kettle Head but having the Norway bombing and subliminaly the shooting interjected in the post refrains me from doing so. Okay the Norwegian douche is calling his bros, but we need to give him a pass at this moment. Give it a month or so and we can mock him in the clubs. I would Mock Kettle Head today if he were in his own post without any sidebars.

10:30 am July, 25 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Wait a minute I just double checked the Norwegian douche pic. Look at that gianormous shopping bag in his hand!!! WOW!! Okay mock away.

10:35 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In socialist Norway, the douchebag hunts you. If there were ever two things I stand behind with great conviction it is my utter disdain for intolerance of any people and my hatred of Scandinavians.

10:38 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ I forgot to include Dutch, Belgians, and French Polynessians. Not to be confused with Peloponnesians.
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Bigots

10:52 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

I once bought some pot from an Israeli that he called “Primo Levi”. He also had some “Meir Gold” that kicked ass

11:04 am July, 25 Hurl Scheibe said...

No way that’s Holly. Hips are too small for one, and so is are the Holy Holly Boobies.

11:25 am July, 25 schlicht bindenburger said...

if it truly is KH, he sure let himself go. get back on the hormones and shakes schlortzi!

11:28 am July, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

I like the look of this Mädchen, I am imagining that she has a large and fragrant 1970s-style Busch hiding under that bikini.

Just think of how much time this idiot has spent growing and grooming his facial fung. As if that’s not bad enough, he probably had to have one of his “bros” help him with his zebra-stripe dye job.

If only he had been born 70 years earlier and in Germany, he could have been safely crushed underneath the treads of an American tank. Unfortunately he was born in 1981 and we will have to wait until he flips his Civic at 115mph while driving home from Vegas.

12:39 pm July, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Now who would ever go and fucck with a good high top fade? Douche was just trying to bring back 1989 in style. It just so happens that was the same year he went from amature douche to pro douche.

12:40 pm July, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Why does he have toothpaste in his hair?
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Also, does the Toe to Toe logo mean her Camel Toe versus his Mammal Toe? Just askin’….

1:28 pm July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kettlehead lost a great deal of flair since he went for the full Kahn. And Holly, if that is her, is also off her game. Kinda sad, really, to see the once greats struggling to be mediocre.

2:48 pm July, 25 soy bomb said...

Wow. Just wow. The fact that Kettlehead is not in the Hall of Scrote is disturbing. He brings the ‘bag with extreme prejudice.
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lol

3:58 pm July, 25 Manager of the Quarter said...

Woah, this is totally not Kettlehead. I wasn’t born yesterday, but now I kinda wish I was so I would be oblivious to who Kettlehead is. And if that’s Holly I’m Megan Fox and we all know that’s a lie. Cuz Megan Fox can’t read or write.

4:16 pm July, 25 Manager of the Quarter said...

And way to bring the room down as per usual DB1 with the Norway bombings. You must be a ball o’ fun at parties.

4:35 pm July, 25 idfma said...

I see the resemblance, but I don’t think this is the douche, the legend that is Kettlehead. This is a poor man’s Kettlehead, okay a poorer man’s KH. KH would never be caught with his facial hair in this state of disrepair–wouldn’t, couldn’t happen. Not on a train, not on a bus, not on a plane, not here with us.

4:39 pm July, 25 idfma said...

Not Holly, either. This chick’s tits are real.

4:43 pm July, 25 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s both Kettlehead And Holly. Check out the eyebrows on both, they do match their former photos. And remember, they always deteriorate into douchier douches and even Hotter Hotts or Bleethier Bleeths. Or just older folks, like the rest of us. I think it has something to do with price we pay to finally get our Social Security checks each month.

4:43 pm July, 25 Manager of the Quarter said...

No, definitely not Kettlehead. I’d bet my Manager of the Quarter Award on it. Did I mention I’m Manager of the Quarter?

4:45 pm July, 25 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

This is what this site is all about: A hot chick, a hideous dude (made even uglier by his extreme db signifiers) and the against-all-natural-laws-of-physics attraction magnet that brings (and holds) them together.
.
.The raised eyebrow gave me pause for a second — it being an indicator of perhaps something going on behind those unforgivable shades — but upon closer examination, one sees he is simply wondering, in his simple, chimp-like brain, how and if he should kick the photog’s ass.
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.What does hott say when she brings Possibly Kettlehead guy home to Mom: “Hi Mom, this is my semi-hirsute, bad-ass boyfriend. Isn’t he cool? Don’t you love his look? Can you just imagine what slope-headed, four-fingered kids we’re going to have? And would you mind loaning me some Benjamins? He’s a little behind on his Mustang payments…”.
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.He must be great in the sack, because what in the fuck else could he possibly be good at? Delivering pizzas?
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.I repeat my prior thesis, debated and discussed a length on this site: Guys only look like this because girls like it. In other words: I blame the Bleeths..
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.And he is uber-asshole. You can smell it from here.

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.PS re @Manager of the Quarter: Douchebaggery cannot be ignored…even in the most dire situations. If it is given a pass or let slide, the infestation will grow….and pretty soon we’ll all be compelled to look and act like this guy to get any tail….or be forced to retreat into the loneliness and depravity of web surfing for our sexual yah-yahs.
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.But enough about me.
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.Roald Amundsen (God Bless Norway!)

4:48 pm July, 25 Manager of the Quarter said...

@Whoop-Di-Douche, based on what you just said you are the last person I would call to pick a perp out of a lineup……….Uh…its that guy. Well at least he has the same eyebrows as the guy who robbed the bank, even the the hair and skin tone are completely different…….the same eyebrows, please.

5:05 pm July, 25 Manager of the Quarter said...

@Choad, I couldn’t agree more. I just like busting DB1’s balls. Its probably why I’m Manager of the Quarter. And you make web surfing for sexual ya yas sound like its a bad thing. Anywho, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times if douchey behavior is rewarded it is douchey behavior you shall get. So its up to you ladies. But I also say “Milk, milk, lemonade… around the corner fudge is made” if anyone asks me what’s on my grocery list so…

8:31 pm July, 25 idfma said...

@ Whoop-di,
.
I hear you, and I’m not positive. But I will see your similar eyebrows, and raise you the farmer’s tan. As senseless as KH must be, you can’t pull the Khan with a fucking farmer’s tan. KH has standards for fuck’s sake.

8:31 pm July, 25 idfma said...

In re-looking, her tits may not be real…

8:43 pm July, 25 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Primo Levi found Douchebags at Auschwitz? Wow I did not know that.

8:51 pm July, 25 soy bomb said...

He may not be Kettlehead, but is definitely cut from the same douche cloth. And what does his shirt say? “Toe 2 Toe?” Is that a euphemism for “docking?”a> I’ll just answer my own question with a “yes.”
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Persons of interest.

8:52 pm July, 25 soy bomb said...

^lol

3:28 am July, 26 Douchble Helix said...

Dear DB1,
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If you EVER compare the beloved Holly to something like this again, which doesn’t even comb her hair, I will go Oslo on your ass.
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Don’t say you weren’t warned.
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Your pal,
Douchble Helix
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What? Too soon?

9:38 am July, 26 The Dude said...

Can I just stare at HoH Holly some more? thanks

9:39 am July, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

I wanna be a rep for whoever makes Holly’s bikini. Hominahominahomina…

And for Kettlehead, maybe he should stick with full shirts. Right now he’s looking like a lard ass who grooms too much.

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