Friday, July 1, 2011

Nayara and the Grapefruits

We’ll give Nayara only a stage-1 or early stage-2 doucher status for the stupid tatts, crotch-thrusting method of pose, and stupid buzz haircut.

As to the Grapefruits, like firm, lucious mellons of the biblical fruit of Moses wandering pluck slap, they feed baby suckle happy penguin feet dance like only the purest of Sissyfusian ambrosia and nectar wrung from the hand towel of Aphrodite after her last kegger.

# posted by douchebag1
9:30 am July, 1 Douchble Helix said...

No bleeth here. me likey!

9:32 am July, 1 Anonymous said...

Don’t let those sweet Ruby Reds make you go soft, Boss. Nayara is full on douche. From the stupid name tattoo to the idiot sleeve that has no meaning, to the boat, to the hair. I could go on, but you get the point. DOUCHBAG. But I digress. Have I mentioned BOOBIES???

9:39 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Her grapefruits are full of my seed. Historical fact.
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Boobie lovin’ hatters

9:42 am July, 1 Douchetastic said...

Either she’s wearing really low-rise bottoms or that towel is very strategically placed. I will assume the latter and commence downloading her into my spank bank.

9:46 am July, 1 Jeet Kune Douche said...

despite the boobage, the dame has a bit of the man-face going on. A visage that has been on the road, travelling, so to speak.

10:00 am July, 1 The Dude said...

Melonious Funk

10:16 am July, 1 tall guy said...

Stage 1 (or early Stage 2) status? C’mon! He’s unquestionably totes douche and she looks like a porn “actress”.

10:17 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Man face- sure, but the breastseseses are wonderful. And you can always go to the walmart and get one of those “Green” reuseable shopping bags and all will be well in the universe.-



Funbags

10:39 am July, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Nayara is Portuguese for “a man who compulsively tickles other men’s anuses with his scrotum.”
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The grapefruits will be the grapefruits of wrath when you discover there are plums and a banana waiting for you under that towel.

10:42 am July, 1 Steve said...

Get a picture of this guy with his friends while they share a bottle of goose and he’ll no longer be a stage-1, early stage-2.

10:49 am July, 1 tall guy said...

“The grapefruits will be the grapefruits of wrath when you discover there are plums and a banana waiting for you under that towel” – Dude McCrudeshoes

Post of the day!

10:56 am July, 1 The Dude said...

If grapefruit girl has a dick, it’s even smaller than Nayara’s. Keep the faith, man-facers, she’s at absolutely worst a busty bleeth with melonious mammies, but enough about ‘her’. ‘He’ deserves mock.

11:05 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

No man face there. You gotta be picky to look for faults with this babe, unless you’re anti-bolt-ons.
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She tells her friends,” I know he’s got three DUI’s and a couple of babies with two other women, but he’s cute and he’s nice to me and he just got promoted to Assistant Associate Manager at AM/PM ……”

11:06 am July, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m busy so I’ll second the Tranny motion. Nice tits for a dude though. He looks like a small hockey player.

11:06 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

BTW, Steve Martin is a comedy genius in any genre:
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11:28 am July, 1 Anonymous said...

I’m still waiting for Dark Sock PooPoo Haiku.

Almost as awesome as Friday Pear. Almost.

11:44 am July, 1 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

This fellow is indeed FULL ON DOUCHE. Smug little bastard needs the ink slapped off of him. As for Grapefruits….oh sweet Jesus. I’m Greek, but I’m too out of breath to even yell, “OPA!” for the lust in my loins has drained me of all celebratory energy…

11:50 am July, 1 DarkSock said...

I learned my lesson
No more Haiku-editing
While I am boating.

11:51 am July, 1 Mandouchian Candidate said...

@ TNBAGT
The lust in my loins has energized me from all the celebratory drainage…

11:53 am July, 1 DarkSock said...

Poolside Olean snacks
Keep her thin and hot, until
Shart fluffs lap towel

12:23 pm July, 1 mr.reeve said...

This chick is HoH in my opinion.
This dude is a giant ass hat that gets stuck to your shoes and makes you look like a giant moron while you are running towards gate 2 at LAX to catch your plane.
Son

1:10 pm July, 1 Steve L. said...

sometimes grapefruits beat melons. because they can do more with less.
and sometimes Nayara is a stage-100 douchebag. because he can do more with less as well.
there. i said it.

1:29 pm July, 1 Stephanie said...

N ipple
A llergy
Y uck
A sshole
R imjob
A eronaut

she’s got some thighs that can do some farm work, and her boobs recall a certain more innocent time, before funbags hyperinflated like the yen in the 1980s.

her face well, i am guessing his tattoo points to shared portugese heritage, which is plural of portugoose, i think. anyway, they hit so many home runs in brazil, i am willing to forgive them some strike outs, or an inning ending double play with a runner in scoring position. he of course is two foul balls that cause fans to spill beers that cost more than the balls themselves. still they chase them with abandon, knocking aside wheelchairs, nuns, and the occasional cowering seam bunny. all of which are noble actions in and of themselves, but not in pursuit of low value balls.

let this be a lesson to you
defendants.

3:09 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

If she’s got thighs that can do farm work, I’ve got a farm in my pants.

5:11 pm July, 1 Douchetastic said...

No man-face there. Just a poor man’s Maria Menounos.

8:42 pm July, 2 Troy Tempest said...

So after 20 years and 100 lbs of nachos and 1000lbs of steak, and 5000 gallons of beer, what will his gut tatt look like?
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Nasty. Really Nasty.

11:01 pm July, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Yeah, Troy, and her grapefruits will still look like dem Texas Ruby Reds.
Yeeh-haw, San Antone!

11:04 pm July, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Some day, when he gets his appendectomy and later on, his pacemaker, the surgical staff will implement new designs to “accentuate” the obvious.

8:12 pm July, 4 E. Keith Owens said...

The article spoke of how the leaddived jumped into the mosh pit and the crowd moshed him over themselves for a minute or so before passing him back onto the stage..I was thinking… All these stage performances portraying joy and enjoyment must have originated from somewhere. Except He doesnt return to the stage but wants to stay in our hearts forever.

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