Monday, July 11, 2011

Rosary Bling Still Sucks

Yeah you, Todd.

Take your Silverlake Stubble ™, your vintage turntable collection, the fact you claim your dad once toured with “The ‘Jovi back in Jersey” with both ironic and genuine pride, and your affinity for Blue Moon beer, and stick where the Jesus and Mary chain can’t abide.

Young Mom Carol attends all the P.T.A. meetings in a miniskirt. And for that, even the short bus kids applaud with their ice creams and mittens and go “Yayyy!”.

# posted by douchebag1
11:46 am July, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s a MILF Hott and she’s a Dirty 9.5.

11:51 am July, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, just back from my Jersey Shore vaca, and I was very disappointed with the quality of douchebags. Being that I was in the cradle of Douche-ilization I had high hopes to see some new trends and classic looks. A Bag Hunting trip to the Seaside Boardwalk was more Carnival Side Show Freaks than it was Solid Gold Guidos. I think the trend is towards White Trash Bags (Dub T-Bags), with Douchebags being relegated to a small, but still visible minority. Just as the Indians (Native Americans) were pushed out by the White Man, Douchebags are being overrun by Dub T-Bags.

11:59 am July, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

refreshing to see some nice saggy mommy boobies. total MILF.

11:59 am July, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmm! Young Mom Carol, I give her a hearty “Yayyy!” myself, she’s all kinds of Milfy naughtiness

12:03 pm July, 11 Vin Douchal said...

I. Am. In. Love.
.
Young Mom Carol is my dreamboat. She looks like Shannon Tweed before the demon seed of Gene Simmons destroyed her soul.
.
Todd is the rifle scope cross hairs poster child

12:22 pm July, 11 Bag A said...

I’m liking Carol a lot.

12:24 pm July, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Young Mom Carol must have been one super hot early morning news show host somewhere in the early Fox years. And as she is now I would hit it with full missiles repeatedly and with gusto. And boobies. I see a little bit of Deborah Norville. Why the fuck did they replace her with that stinky nympho elf Katir Couric?
.
Anchormen
.

12:24 pm July, 11 Douchie Arnaz said...

I bet she’s enthusiastic. She probably says “please” and “thank you” instead of calling the cops like those other women did.

12:53 pm July, 11 Dan said...

Pictures like that happily remind me of the German word for bra “busenhalter”, which literally is : bosom holder.

Who volunteers to be Carol’s busenhalter?

1:05 pm July, 11 Mayor McDouche said...

Get her an appointment with Dr. Rey stat. Compared to the boobie on the left, the right one is sinking faster than the Titanic.

1:06 pm July, 11 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

carol has that super-hot, probably nuts but taking medication for it, look of a woman who can give directions in bed.

he looks like a guy who once tried to find the clitoris, and got thrown out of walgreens for getting creepy with the high school aged staff.

pro-tip its not in the toothpaste aisle. douchebag.

1:13 pm July, 11 Hermit said...

The homeless traveller wakes up steeped in sweat from beneath the overpass, gathers his filthy blanket and laces up his worn boots. He stumbles down into the fast food restaurant to escape the already sweltering heat.
He reeks of poverty and shame, a stark juxtaposition to the young woman’s measured confidence and air-conditioned cleanliness. Their eyes meet for a fraction of a moment, and he remembers better times when once there was a small measure of clarity and order. Repulsed, she quickly turns away and sends the image deep inside her, where it can be stifled and forgotten.
.
Later that day the image of the vagrant returns to the surface, as she stares into the camera lens with sparkling eyes, reflecting the sun as two sapphires thrown carelessly into the bottom of a flop house urinal. Her plump breasts are upholstered in exotic linens, adorned with hand-painted floral patterns, decorated by demented seventeenth century impressionists.
.
She hates the image of the lonely vagabond almost as much as she hates Todd, with all his empty compassion and false pretense.

1:32 pm July, 11 smackdouche said...

I’d p in her t and a. I have no idea what I’m saying.

1:40 pm July, 11 Vin Douchal said...

@ Hermit
.
I’d bet you there are a lot of people in Todd’s world that despise him greatly … fuccen Vince Chase wannabe…
.
Young Mom Carol has bitten her fingernails to the quick and the polish along with it. She’s probably paying for this guy’s lifestyle with her alimony/child support and Todd won’t say no to a Vegas pool cabana and $300 bottle service. He hasn’t given her an orgasm in months but he gets off everytime.
.
Fuck you Todd and your Counting Crows CD collection. They suck. A real man knows Duncan Sheik is way better

1:49 pm July, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Vin, Duncan Sheik? You’ve got to be kidding me. Both bands suck Todd’s prolapsed rectum sphincteranus.
.
Todd, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is this your mom’s friend? Niiiiiiice.

1:51 pm July, 11 Vin Douchal said...

I said “better”. And BTW, try playing those chord progressions, Duncan Sheik can play the guitar.
.
.
And that’s the important thing here

2:20 pm July, 11 Stephanie said...

Carol and I would most likely have coffee together and complain about men.

2:43 pm July, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Carol reminds me of this one hott friend I have. Her husband is a drunk and he cheats on her and every time I’m over at their house she hugs me a little too long and jokes about me playing with her boobies. Oh, I would, I would, I would.

2:57 pm July, 11 Wheezer said...

As much as I love Hermit’s wonderful character studies, he has never given me a boner quite the way Medusa just did.
.
Does that sound “bi”?

2:59 pm July, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Fuck Todd & that shitting eating sneery grin on his face, and Vin D you nailed it right on the head.
.
“She’s probably paying for this guy’s lifestyle with her alimony/child support and Todd won’t say no to a Vegas pool cabana and $300 bottle service. He hasn’t given her an orgasm in months but he gets off everytime. “

3:50 pm July, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

I came back to look at Milfy hott Carol and it’s ruined cause of jagoff Todd.

4:39 pm July, 11 Hermit said...

@ Wheezer 2:57,
.
I guess I just have to try harder. And by try harder I mean hottt lesbian action!

5:11 pm July, 11 soy bomb said...

It’s the little things that kill, according to many, including middling 90’s bands, and that truism finds refuge in this photo. Though possessing a friendly smile and demeanor, it’s the little things that “kill” my desire not to engage in douchemockery all up on this clown. The non-practicing rosary bling, the children’s sunglasses and the “Trying Too Hard Fedora” = right in our wheelhouse. Remove your hands from Carol, Todd, before I get all Casey Anthony on your ass.

6:10 pm July, 11 baffomet said...

Might I recommend having a Hall of Hott – MILF edition?

6:38 pm July, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

A new low….
.
http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/07/11/jersey-shore-italy-photos/

6:40 pm July, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

Also, does the reek of poverty and shame include urine? I always imagined the smell of urine would be integral to the reek of poverty and shame, especially when talking about a homeless traveler.

7:21 pm July, 11 ehcuodouche said...

Something smells like cougar pee. Oh, it’s that guy. I guess he likes golden showers too.

8:23 pm July, 11 Steve L. said...

young moms fall for “vintage turntable collections”?










luckily for turntables the world over, i’m stuck in the middle of nowhere in fucking Kearl Lake right now.

8:23 am July, 12 Anonymous said...

I second the nomination for Yong Mom Carol for the HOH!! MILF OR NO MILF SHE IS WORTHY!!

9:02 am July, 12 kneejerk said...

“Silverlake Stubble”?
Someone’s been on my side of town and takin’ notes…

3:16 am July, 13 E. Keith Owens said...

Give yourselves a hand…Now if youre anything like me you have no idea what body mass index means so let me see if I can sum it up for you. Essentially BMI an equation first dreamed up in Belgium in 1832 is a number derived from dividing your weight in kilograms by the square of your height in meters…However if youre like me you also have no idea what kilograms and meters are — and youre pretty bad at math — so the above description of BMI does nothing for you. Go ahead and kick yourself for not coming up with that idea yourself and then well move on. ..How can this help you a Coloradan looking to lose weight?

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