Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Where’s Waldouche?: Captain Peen Edition

Somewhere in this rather stilted pic of Captain Peen McSpeedo and Awkward Hardbody Harriet, I’ve carefully hidden a grassy knoll Oswaldian Waldouche.

Look closely.

No, he’s not the dude waving. Look closer.

Can you avoid the Speedo Peen long enough to locate him?

And say what you will about Captain Peen McSpeedo, but his hammock can pull some curvy-ass albeit surgically enhanced Beach Bunnies demonstrating Female Groin Shave Reveal.

# posted by douchebag1
9:35 am July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Captain and Toenail

9:36 am July, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

That’s a whole lotta shaved groin there boss.

9:36 am July, 20 DarkSock said...

Now THIS is what HCwDB’s mission statement is all about: the simultaneous urge to ejaculate and vomit.
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And no, fuck YOU, grassy knoll troll.

9:42 am July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Captain Asstasstic and The Poop Shoot Cowboys

9:42 am July, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Captain Peen and the aging hotts must spend a fortune on hair removal and diuretics.

9:43 am July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pride Captain Pride, The Parade HAs Come

9:44 am July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s fun to stay at the DoucheMCA

9:45 am July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In The Gayvy

9:49 am July, 20 Wedgie said...

Hands down the gayest gaybag this side of Fire Island.
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Cabin Boys

9:52 am July, 20 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Waldouche needs a pick axe upside the head; Cap’n Peen needs much tan if he is going to do the full body shave, and Hardbody Harriet needs, well, taste.
+
Is it me or does it look like Cap’n is standing on his tippy toes so as not to look like a short prick next to HH??? Little bastard…

9:54 am July, 20 wgas said...

These two are taking away my ocean view. Go sink your torpedo in this chick’s wharf house “Captain”, so I can stare into the sea sans grease.

10:00 am July, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

Actually I applaud Waldouche for flipping the bird. I believe he is as disgusted as we are by Cap’n Peen, his plum smuggler and his close proximity to Hard body Harriet.
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@Mandouchian Candidate, Re; Cap’n standing on his tippy toes
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I do believe you’re correct sir.

10:22 am July, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Captain Nambla was forced by the judge to go on a “straight singles” retreat.
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Fake boobs, librarian faced, ultra groin reveal, luke-warm hottie looks easier than a monochromatic rubic’s cube.

10:24 am July, 20 Hermit said...

If Christopher Columbus’ crew looked like this when they landed in America, the Indians would have known what they were in for, and therefore would have had the good sense to shoot them full of arrows, bludgeon them to death with dull stone tomahawks, then FedEx their scalps back to England.

10:25 am July, 20 Cool Hand Douche said...

Her shadow is even more muscular than gay Capt. Matt Dillon.

10:27 am July, 20 wgas said...

@M.Candidate, its a very sublte tippy toe maneuver. You can tell by his flexed calf muscle and looking at his feet in comparison to hers. You would think if he was ballsy enough to wear a Speedo he wouldn’t care if he was a tiny bit shorter than her. The douchebag mind boggles mine own.

10:29 am July, 20 Hermit said...

I agree with Et Tu, Waldouche is simply critiquing Captain Peen’s poor clothing choice. Notta’.
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Waving guy has a disproportionally long torso and an external rib cage, so he too gets a notta’.

10:33 am July, 20 wgas said...

The only ship this douche was ever Captain of was the S.S. Manhole.

10:36 am July, 20 wgas said...

Waldouche gets a notta from me as well, for not spending a fortune on chest waxings every week. I will refer to him as Wallnotta from hence to forth.

10:37 am July, 20 Cool Hand Douche said...

I think he’s actually a rear admiral. Sorry; I couldn’t help myself. Time for my nap.

10:45 am July, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

She looks like she has more bulge than him. What a second, is this Fire Island? If there is one thing that Europe and its baggery should not export is the common acceptance of wearing grape smugglers to the beach. The same goes for the Aussiedouches as well. It is a simple flow chart really:
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Are you doing swim trials or some demanding lifeguard skills competition?
/
Yes No
l l
Speedo Away Puts some shorts on
and lose the Nair, wanker

10:47 am July, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Gah, my flow chart sucked, ah well, you get the point

10:49 am July, 20 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Jim Carrey’s new project, “Blister Popper’s Peen Wince” bombed at the box office but found new life on the RedBox rental market.

Hardbody Harriet can lift 150 pounds without using her hands — premature ejaculation is strongly discouraged.

The bird on the right in the bonus photo is hoping that a glimpse of her pubes will keep you from looking at her beak.

10:54 am July, 20 wgas said...

@Sir David Douchenborough, I prefer all of my information to be presented to me in pie form, however your flowchart sufficed for these purposes.

11:01 am July, 20 smackdouche said...

I had never understood the true meaning of the song “In the Navy” until this very moment. Thanks Cap’n!

11:27 am July, 20 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Just as Richard Wagner’s music is much better than it sounds,* so is the hot is this pic much prettier than she looks.
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* Parsifal remains highly underrated, but the leitmotiv of the Ring cycle can be found in both the tonal (Debussy) and atonal (Schoenberg) musings of less sophisticated composers. But more on this in another post…
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.Oh yeah…and Hardbody Harriet could crack a walnut (or my ass) with those thighs.

11:33 am July, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer Captain America: this guy is a treat to the American way of life. You know what to do.

11:54 am July, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

To give y’alls an idea about my strange taste in women, I would totally vote Hardbody Harriet into HoH. I would pay her to train me for a workout, and then she’d ask me to massage her and curse me vigorously for being too weak on her iron muscles. The rest I leave to your imagination.

3:39 pm July, 20 Steve L. said...

the word “peen” had been redefined and mutilated.

3:42 pm July, 20 Steve L. said...

muscular hott can be an ironworker, but she won’t.

6:38 pm July, 20 Elwood Blues said...

“Nice hat, Dick” – Jim Breuer

“What, was your Von Dutch hat in the shop?” – Me

6:42 pm July, 20 wgas said...

@Mr. Biggs, believe me when I say that noone but you wishes to imagine that.

7:04 pm July, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Harriet is rather severe but not completely hideous. She no doubt has some virtue of womenly charms…maybe when keening drunk, for instance.

Capt Peen belongs in the Maritime Hall of Poo.

The finger flipping Waldouche must be a very sad individual…he got what he was asking for though – his 15 seconds of fame on HCwDB.

7:08 pm July, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

@ Hermit:

Probably correct about the Indians, though I think the folks in England may have been a bit nonplussed to receive a bunch of Portuguese and Spanish scalps, time warp problems of FedEx notwithstanding…

8:35 pm July, 20 Stephanie said...

Suck it in pretty boy,and I don’t mean just your belly.

8:36 pm July, 20 Troy Tempest said...

sorry, but the woman is NOT hot. Big fakey boobs, and some seriously ugly legs. Damn she’s nasty. She’s got some serious thighs building and in 5 years she’s looking at serious liposuction, unless she keeps up/increases her exercise regime, which will only make her legs look uglier. Yarf. Thunder thighs with gnarly chiseled muscles and spindly shins. Double Yarf.

9:04 pm July, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Well, uh, she could strangle a horse, er, um, Donkey Douche, with those thighs of hers. And Waldouche could turn that little ball peen hammer he’s holding and give us the head instead of the handle.
And I’ve seen a lot slinkier Speedos than the one he’s wearin’.
Cap’n.

9:42 pm July, 20 creature said...

Capn Peen has puncture wounds in his abdomen…jus’ sayin

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