Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Billy Von Buren Fist Pumps His Lack of Future

Just think, by his mid 40s, that tatt of Italy will slowly morph into the shape of Weimar republic Germany, thereby justifying Alfred Wegener’s theories of tectonic shift.

As well as The “Fegelein theories” currently taking place in Hitler’s bunker.

Speaking of tectonic shift, Future SUV Driving Long Island Mom Sandra lets out a rebel yell. She wants more, more, more. BMWs.

# posted by douchebag1
9:30 am August, 23 schlicht bindenburger said...

poo and goo! YOU CUNTS!

9:31 am August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of totally doable women on the far side of 40 , did we ever determine if the reported death of The Hunter was a hoax ?
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9:44 am August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Pall of The Roman Empire.

9:45 am August, 23 The Scrotewank Redemption said...

Billy’s made a poor choice of eyewear.

That small, round face? Those big, round eyes? Looks familiar:
http://theandroidsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/troll.jpg

9:46 am August, 23 creature said...

a mighty cut with a wiffle ball bat to Turin would be very appropriate

9:47 am August, 23 creature said...

I believe Sandra is calling out for more “COCCK!”

9:48 am August, 23 Louise said...

First Mafia Wars, now this douche. Its not easy being a self respecting dego these days.

9:56 am August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Playing the role of Sicilly, Billy’s shrivled roided nut sack.

10:05 am August, 23 Louise said...

Did a shoe die on his torso? Has anybody solved it yet?

10:09 am August, 23 Baron Von Goolo said...

Yes, thank you for the tattoo, Billy. To think that we might have gone our whole lives without knowing you’re Italian…it’s just too horrible.

10:16 am August, 23 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

By the by, and slightly off topic… I’d like to nominate Zyzz for Clearest Proof of Natural Selection. Yanno, for the ‘roids, the barely coherent simian tomfoolery, the dying in a sauna with Thai hookers and all.

10:20 am August, 23 Chumanominom said...

Now that’s a Douchebag .. I thought I smelled poo

10:22 am August, 23 Chumanominom said...

One small fist pump for Douchekind, one giant turd in the pool

10:27 am August, 23 Louise said...

I’ll second that nom you magnificent bastard, you. Zyzz’s higher cognitive functioning and reasoning was akin to a drunken chimpanzee.

10:28 am August, 23 Wedgie said...

Why do guys named Van Buren have Italy tattooed on them?
Just askin’. I’m adding to my vast collection of useless knowledge.

10:29 am August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

The Baron is always the voice of reason. I also didn’t need to know he’s a moronic Yankee fan or that he wears his anal insertion beads around his neck to rinse them off in the pool
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Sauerkrauts

11:18 am August, 23 FoghornLeghorn said...

Billy can’t help it. He seems to suffer from microcephaly, better known as small head disorder. You can tell from the way his glasses extend beyond the edge of his face, and how that horrible Yankees cap sits down over his ears. Clearly the circumference of his head is more than two standard deviations smaller than average.
.
On the other hand, I am interested in running my finger along Sandra’s lower back, while I whisper to her about my 1979 Pontiac Sunbird Safari wagon.

11:27 am August, 23 Ferris said...

Sandra prefers her picture be taken with her back to the camera. That way, it hides the stretch marks from her recent pregnancy. Her third. It was a boy. Mazel tov.

11:27 am August, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Billy won’t have to wit until he’s 40 for the tatt to slide…missing a cycle or two will do the trick, rapidly.
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Roiders

11:28 am August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Ben Revere makes the greatest catch in baseball history (apologies to Johnny Damon’s faceplant into the Fenway bullpen / triangle): (a href=”http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=18341115&topic_id=&c_id=mlb&tcid=vpp_copy_18341115&v=3″>Here

11:29 am August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

nice work ^ dipshit, Here

11:42 am August, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Are we sure this pic wasn’t altered ? The douche’s head is literally the size of a grapefruit.

Those look like an Ed Hardy bikini on aging Sandra. Chasing after youth can be so sad to watch.

11:43 am August, 23 jonezy said...

oh yea- but this is the best slide into home I’ve ever seen

11:45 am August, 23 jonezy said...

also, dude above has done so many ‘roids, his one testicle is now firmly implanted in his mandible.

11:49 am August, 23 jonezy said...

also Vin, I agree that is one hell of grab, but it wasn’t like he was saving a perfect fucking game by making that catch (damn it pains me just to hear that dope Hawk Harrelson have any sort of similar opinion to me)

12:02 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He has a tattoo of Grease on his brown starfish. I mean Greece.
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.
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No I don’t.

12:09 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

And as some of the first guests at Europe’s newest theme park, Douchneyland, Billy and Sandra were given free all-day ride passes, which Billy immediately misinterpreted and was subsequently thrown out of the park for analy raping Twinkerbowell.

12:56 pm August, 23 creature said...

@jonezy
I dig the Hawk “he gone!”

1:15 pm August, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Billy likes gladiator movies because they make him feel funny. Sandra likes them because they remind her of the sword fights she used allow to occur in her open-air amphitheatre after ninth grade gym class in the boys locker room.

1:34 pm August, 23 Stephanie said...

It’s the country where he’s from plus it looks like his mother’s vagina. Also where he comes from. That’s a good look,fist pumper.

2:39 pm August, 23 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

What fo you mean, “Future” SUV Driving Long Island Mom Sandra? She took the kids to the water park while hubbyis toiling in the hot sun to buy her that fancy f–ing purse, all the while she is moist humping douche boy. Bitter? Like that mouth full of dandelion greens my Dad shoved in my mouth when I was 9 just for telling mom about his side trips to OTB

3:20 pm August, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Shawn “The Hunter” Reese appears to be still hitting MILFs. At least his Facebook page says “Still alive”.

3:30 pm August, 23 entropy1 said...

sorry Vin but this is the best catch ever

8:03 pm August, 23 Steve L. said...

no one in that pool can afford BMWs, Sandra.

8:05 pm August, 23 Steve L. said...

not that it matters though. Sandra will probably be relegated to a 20-year old $4500 beater.

10:39 pm August, 23 Whoop-di-douche said...

Billy thinks he’s the new Italian Stallion, while Sandra just rides and rides.

10:39 pm August, 23 troy tempest said...

you fuckers. So mean. The rest of his bod will feature the rest of the continent. Next month, he’ll get France and Switzerland engraved. After that, Germany and Croatia. Pretty soon, his whole body will be a big map of europe.

Naaaaaa -he’s a douche.

5:41 am August, 24 JohnDouchePassos said...

C’mon DB1, she’s already driving the SUV. Look at the skin on her elbow.

11:15 am August, 24 bronkyoeeec said...

, , , ,

3:13 am August, 26 my friends call me @$$hole said...

big-ass tattoo of italy on his torso and you name him BILLY VON BUREN?!?! too much Night Train that day or something? ’cause i’m Italian and I’d have named him Billy the Capicola-Sucking Greased-Up Guido Fag Wop Dago

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