Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Caption This Pic

After the Green Latern failed to perform at the box office, “The Choad Warrior: Beyond Thunderboobs” represented a new thematic direction for Warner Brothers and Marvel Studios, or as Stan Lee called it, “Boobs.”

EDIT: For those who can’t take the garish nihilism of this pic, have some Undies Pear. And then caption that pic as well. With “Pear.”

EDIT: Okay this thread is too damn hilarious not to highlight a few captions. In no particular order:

ehcuodouche: Q: Who runs Douchetown? A: Leathervest Fwippyhair Tirechainnecklace runs Douchtown!

UFO Destroyers: Casual Fridays were never the same.

Douche Wayne: “The Grind” took a nasty turn when it was moved to MTV7 (Berlin).

wonderdouche twin: “Dumbass Dancing” a fun hip new take on an American Classic.

Wedgie: One and a Half Men.

Anonymous: The Girl With Fag an’ Tattoos

Baron Von Goolo: Each of their genital piercings is a broken half of the same heart. It’s really very charming when you think about it.

Some longer posts were even more genius, but gotta keep it short up here on the main. For laughs, read the whole thread.

# posted by douchebag1
11:40 am August, 30 skrag2112 said...

“The Load Warrior: Beyond Chunderdome”

11:44 am August, 30 skrag2112 said...

Tranny detector is deep in the red with this picture.

11:44 am August, 30 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Have you ever just seen a chick and just known that she has done a lot of sex things that are illegal in the south?

I have now.

11:48 am August, 30 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Trash begat Trash. But still looks like she would be fun to motorboat if you didn’t mind a little hepatitis.

11:53 am August, 30 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

Herpatiphyllaids. And crabs. Big ones.

12:00 pm August, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lady Gaga: The Monster’s Balls

12:01 pm August, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lobotomies For Fun And Profit

12:01 pm August, 30 Southern Scrotic said...

This couple makes the crew on Jersey Shore look pretty reasonable.

12:02 pm August, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Herpelicious House Of Funkenstein

12:04 pm August, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

CTWFDGDTHWT Summer Bash !

(Chicks That Were Formerly Dudes and the Gay Dudes That Hang With Them)

12:11 pm August, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Torpedo Run – Trannies Last Chance – received mixed reviews from critics, who were nonetheless impressed with the film debut of Dolph Lundgren’s illegitimate spawn Diederich, in the non-speaking role of Alfreda/Alfred, who, throughout the film, searches in silence for his estrogen pills.

12:15 pm August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

Fwippy McGee, the marketing guru behind the Plasmatics™ Real Doll™ PEZ Dispenser™, prepares to pull the grape tassel for an anxious throng of Asian investors.

12:20 pm August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

Each of their genital piercings is a broken half of the same heart. It’s really very charming when you think about it.

12:20 pm August, 30 Chumanominom said...

I think it’s more inappropriate that he isn’t wearing the pasties.
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BTW: Nice Thunderboob bad hair

12:24 pm August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Now, you’re positive that you don’t want the Autumn Dazzle™ backdrop? No? We’re sure? (wellwhatdoIknowI’veonlybeendoingthisfor35years)okay SMILE!!”

12:27 pm August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

Below camera, Wendell cursed his minimum wage P.A. job as he worked feverishly to untangle Günther’s Prince Albert from Günna’s reckless halo of labial windchimes.

12:28 pm August, 30 Douchie Arnaz said...

“What about those who swing both ways, AC-DCs?”

12:29 pm August, 30 Douchie Arnaz said...

“We’ve got two turnbuckles and a dick new-grown…”

12:29 pm August, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Its stock trading at an all-time low, Glamour Shots ventured into new and unfamiliar territory before ultimately being bought in a hostile takeover by Flint Industries for a box of broken Crayola crayons and an electric razor that smelled of yeast and cheap bourbon.

12:30 pm August, 30 Douchie Arnaz said...

“Bottles and cans, spray tans, get the clap and raise your hands…”

I got nothin.

12:32 pm August, 30 Douchie Arnaz said...

“New from K-Tel: Til Doucheday, featuring Glen Stephani and Adam Ant’s retarded younger brother, Pat. Pat Ant.”

12:33 pm August, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Heart-shaped Pasties Thundertits: the Revenge of the Chained
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The Pear: Taken (from behind)
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I denounce myself. And pray that Pear will redeem me from the Douchadox. But I’d still like to give Ms. Heart Pasties such a thorough seeing to that she forgets who Lenny is.

12:34 pm August, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

For Medusa, inking the heart onto each nipple wasn’t really an problem. She’d done far worse tatts for far worse customers. It was, however, the insertion of the tassles that pushed her gag reflex to its limit.

12:49 pm August, 30 tall guy said...

To consumers of boobies, boobies always look good as stand alone items. Especially when they’re delicious looking boobies. Now if said boobies are attached to bleeths, they’re still delicious looking boobies. However if delicious looking boobies are attached to suspect trannies, it tends to make said delicious looking boobies somewhat less delicious looking. This is the rather complex paradigm for consumers of boobies. Worry not, though, like each approaching summer, there’s always another pair of delicious looking boobies around the corner. This is the Great fact for every consumer of delicious looking boobies. Thank the good Lord above.

Sermons’n’preachin’ & shit.

12:54 pm August, 30 Just Me said...

So, which one pitches and which one catches?

12:56 pm August, 30 Wedgie said...

One and a Half Men.

1:03 pm August, 30 Hurl Scheibe said...

The Wendy O. Williams Real Doll is so lifelike. I wonder if it comes with its own chain saw.

Butcher Babies

http://www.last.fm/music/Plasmatics/_/Butcher+Baby

1:06 pm August, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Baron 12:27 FTW. Here’s proof

1:07 pm August, 30 schlicht bindenburger said...

…..what nutfilled poop like when it strikes a wall and dries slowly! weeks later, only the stain remains!

1:07 pm August, 30 schlicht bindenburger said...

YOU CUNTS!

1:12 pm August, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’ve always struggled with the concept of adaptation and natural selection. I mean, back in the day were there really deer that just kept stretching and stretching their necks to reach leaves higher in the trees until one day a couple of them turned into Giraffes and voala a whole new species came into existence? And were there other deer who, upon seeing their herdmates evolving said “Fuck that! I’ll just keep eating the lower leaves thank you very much.” and, finding that the lower ones were in fact all already eaten, promptly died thus ensuring that their stupid short-necked genes would die with them?
.
But then I look at this picture and I suddenly get it. I can only imagine that she, seeing all of her friends with similarly mannish faces abscuring them with make-up, long bangs, or plastic surgery, stood back defiantly and said “Fuck that! I’m going to continue wearing my hair to accentuate my harsh masculine features. And I’ll get a slew of tats to reinforce my maleness. BUT, to show that beneath this Jaime-Farr-meets-Mario-Lopez face beats the heart of a woman I’ll strap on a few plumpers to keep the real men coming.” At which point her womb promptly crumbled to dust and drained from her twat like sands through a hour glass.
.
He simply tilts his head and ponders, “Grooo?!”, revealing to all that his fate, like his, is similarly sealed.
.
Yeah, I get it now.

1:22 pm August, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

You know how gay Arteests are always naming their shit, “Still Life #49″? I gotta go with “Life Suck #5063″.
.
And then those same Arteests say the shit they worked with, sumthin like “Charcoal on canvas”? I would titleand list this piece o’ shit composition as:
.
Life Suck #5063
chains -n- shaves -n- bad tats -n- asses
.
.
and boobies.

1:25 pm August, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

“He’s a nihilist.” “Oh, that must be exhausting.”

1:30 pm August, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This answers the question, “What do tattoo artists practice on after they have mastered pigskin, but before they are allowed to tattoo a paying customer?” Answer: Sketch-Pad Bleeth.

1:34 pm August, 30 wonderdouche twin said...

Vanilla Ice has given up on selling real estate and has decided to pump iron and look dumb.
.
Oh wait just one of those is different.
.
She is the wax model in the new section of Madame Tussauds in Vegas simply titled WTF?

1:34 pm August, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In yet another useless and insipid piece of shit from a studio this summer designed to rob you of your hard earned money comes “Ghost II: We Just Stopped Trying So Give Us Your Money” starring the actual ghost of Wendy O. Williams and Rob Van Winkle. In this charming sequel to the 1990 classic (no shit, it was that long ago) we find our down-on-his-luck hero, Farthuffer McDoofus as played by Rob Van Winkle, trying to scrape up enough money to restart a lucrative career as the world’s first white “rapper” because most people forgot who he was in the first place. He drifts for one dead end job to another because of his lack of any useful skills and his raging case of Tourette’s syndrome which cases him to randomly shout grilled cheese recipes and Shakespearean put downs in ancient Greek. Down to his last $0.01 and good nerve, he finds himself contemplating trying to blow his head off with a hair dryer when the ghost Ana Lingus, played brilliantly by Wendy O. Williams, convinces him to put down the hair dryer and get back in “the game” by “rapping” about his tough life in the suburbs on street corners for loose change. The plan works to perfection until a drunken 7 year-old covered in swastikas and a shaved head (played by Jonathan Lipnicki) comes barreling down the street and hits Farthuffer sending him flying into the only soul food/Norwegian deli in Berryville Arkansas. In the final touching scene Farthuffer sees Ana again and asks her “What can I expect heaven to be like?” to which she replies “Heaven? Heaven?? You stupid fuck, you’re slated to be reincarnated as Warren Jeff’s foreskin!” You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll be out of at least $10 if you see it.

1:39 pm August, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Corporate headquarters was none too pleased when the Minocqua Chuck E. Cheese decided to go with gay-themed dungeon night Thursdays in order to draw a more “lucrative” clientele.

1:42 pm August, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Some of the wait staff at the San Fagcisco TGIFriday’s had to be instructed in the picking and proper wearing of “flair” on their uniforms lest they not offend anyone.

1:42 pm August, 30 DarkSock said...

Beyond Thunderdomes: Two Men Enter….Sometimes Three or Four Men Enter….Then They Pay and Leave.

1:43 pm August, 30 DarkSock said...

Lars and Ulia pose in front of their considerable collection of 1″ x 1″ coke mirrors.

1:46 pm August, 30 Southern Scrotic said...

Weddings: Carlisle Brigham, Anthony Champalimaud
.
Carlisle Vose Brigham was married Saturday to Anthony Lindley Champalimaud. The Rev. Edward B. Mulligan IV, an Episcopal priest and a chaplain of St. George’s School in Middletown, R.I., performed the ceremony in the school’s chapel.
Enlarge This Image
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Last year, Mrs. Champalimaud, 28, was an intern who helped care for the paleontology collections at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. She graduated from the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, Va.
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She is the daughter of Holly Vose Brigham and James R. Brigham Jr. of St. Louis. The bride’s father is the chairman of Warson Capital Partners, an investment bank in St. Louis. From 1981 to 1985, he was the chairman of the New York City Public Development Corporation, and from 1978 to 1981, as New York was recovering from its fiscal crisis, Mr. Brigham was the city’s budget director. The bride’s mother is a landscape designer in St. Louis.
.
Mr. Champalimaud, 33, works in Litchfield, Conn., as the vice president for acquisition, strategy and development for the hotel division of YTL, a Malaysian conglomerate. He graduated from Bishop’s University in Lennoxville, Quebec, and received a master’s in real estate development from Columbia.
.
He is a son of Alexandra L. Champalimaud of New York and Carlos Ribeiro de Sommer Champalimaud of Benavente, Portugal, and a stepson of Bruce W. Schnitzer. The bridegroom’s mother is the owner and principal designer at Champalimaud Design, an interior design firm in New York. She and the bridegroom’s stepfather also own Charym, a spa and yoga center in Litchfield. The bridegroom’s stepfather is also an owner of Wand Partners, an investment company in New York, and the chairman of the board of the Institute of Human Origins, a nonprofit research organization at Arizona State University in Tempe, Ariz.
.
The bridegroom’s father retired from Banco Pinto & Sotto Mayor, the Portuguese Bank, for which he was a regional manager.

1:53 pm August, 30 DarkSock said...

Behold: the new Pastie version of the increasingly ever-popular Zune™ mp3 player!

1:54 pm August, 30 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Dr. @ 1:39 FTW
.
I love Dungeon Night at my local Chuck E. Cheese’s.
.
So much better than B & D Night at Applebee’s…

2:05 pm August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“The Grind” took a nasty turn when it was moved to MTV7 (Berlin).

2:05 pm August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“What’s the Leather Pony?”
“I don’t know, we don’t have that at lunch.”

2:07 pm August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“Nice marmut.”
(Springsten @ 1:25 beat me to it but I had to take the shot)

2:08 pm August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“It places the lotion in the basket, or else it gets the hose again.”

2:10 pm August, 30 UFO Destroyers said...

Casual Fridays were never the same.

2:26 pm August, 30 wonderdouche twin said...

“Dumbass Dancing” a fun hip new take on an American Classic.
.
Spending the summer in New York with her drugged out stepmother. Anil Fizure takes to the streets to prove there is a great dancing night life hidden behind all the usual touristy crap in NY.
.
Behind yet another dark door, protected by a sunglass strewn meat head in the dark of night, she finds Peen Isforlorn. Peen is a young valet/pool cleaner who when the lights are low can really do the Electric Slide like it has never done before!
.
Directed by M Night Chlamydia the action is intense, the dancing so-so and the love making atrocious.

3:40 pm August, 30 Jeff said...

So like underneath those pasties are her nipples, right?

4:36 pm August, 30 ehcuodouche said...

Q: Who runs Douchetown? A: Leathervest Fwippyhair Tirechainnecklace runs Douchtown!

4:38 pm August, 30 ehcuodouche said...

Just looking at that picture gives me the overwhelming urge to inject antiherpectants directly into my penis. Cause sometimes you can never be too safe.

7:15 pm August, 30 Anonymous said...

The Girl With Fag an’ Tattoos

7:19 pm August, 30 Douchie Arnaz said...

@Scrotato Head: It’s “voila”

@Douche Wayne: It’s “marmot”

@Thunderboobs: Know who you are and be that. Stop with the tucking and let it out. We’ll all feel better.

8:07 pm August, 30 Anonymous said...

Damn Douchie Spellcheck, this ain’t Freshman Honor’s English. It’s a website about douches and the skanks who love them. It deserves a third grade editing level at best.

8:10 pm August, 30 Anonymous said...

And I believe it’s “viola”.

9:12 pm August, 30 Stephanie said...

Wendy O’ Williams’ younger sis,and her bitch.

10:41 pm August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Anonymous 8:10
.
I’m laughing at you.

12:39 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Oakland Bay Area Alternative High School celebrated its first prom, crowning its King and Queen with chains and pasties.

12:45 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Pasty White and Vested Interest met at the LGBT parade and discovered they were straight, and have been inseparable ever since.

12:52 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Southern Scrotic: Weddings
LMFAO, you NYTimes and T&C addict!

6:14 am August, 31 wonderdouche twin said...

Yeah sorry there Anon @ 8:10 you are wrong and Freshman English Douchecheck is right.

7:14 am August, 31 Douchie Spellcheck said...

@Anon It’s “Honors English”
@Anon I’m playing the world’s smallest viola, so voila, suck on it.

Gentlemints! And Ladles! If you’re gonna mock, get it right, otherwise the fuccen douchebags win.

10:28 am August, 31 Steve L. said...

first transsexual model for UFC: more politically correct than ever!

6:49 pm August, 31 Anonymous said...

@Douchie Spellcheck 7:14p, suck on it? Is that my punishment? Oh no…I like totally hate sucking on it. Wink.

7:08 pm August, 31 Blah said...

2011 Homecoming King and Queen at the Fashion Institute of Technology freshman mixer.

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