Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dances With Crabs

The former “John Douchebar” has gone fully native in the strange land of Vegas.

Falling for both “Stands with Cosmo” and “Scratches With Itch,” the newly renamed “Dances With Crabs” plans to beat out Martin Scorsese for an Oscar, and then star in “Waterworld 2: Golden Shower.”

# posted by douchebag1
2:22 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Bodytard

2:22 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wyatt Burp

2:23 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Robin Hood: Prince of Spleens

2:23 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Pussman

2:24 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

For The Love Of The Bleeth

2:24 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dull Durham

2:25 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Field Of Cocks

2:26 pm August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

Those chicks look pretty uncomfortable under “Sucks In Gut”‘s clutches. They both probably made a bee line to the bar after this pic was taken. I know I would, but I would be dumping the alcohol on me instead of in me.

2:35 pm August, 4 baffomet said...

Ewwww~~ Throw all of those nasty ass fishes back into the sea!!

2:37 pm August, 4 Vin Douchal said...

You can get tatts in the wallpaper department at Home Depot now? Cool….

2:50 pm August, 4 Douche Springsteen said...

@Vin

I think he took that pattern from his great-grandmother’s glory hole doily. Family heirloom, kind of touching really.

2:53 pm August, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Bleethsucker

2:54 pm August, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Saving Ryan’s Privates

2:54 pm August, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Mooby Dick

2:55 pm August, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

I’m Gonna Git You Suck-Wad!

2:56 pm August, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The Bleeth, The Bad and The Bleeth-ier

2:58 pm August, 4 Ted Brogan said...

His stomach terrifies me. Along with his chin, hair, sunglasses, tattoos, and everything else.

3:06 pm August, 4 Wedgie said...

Too bad it’s not streaming video; I’d like to see how long he can suck in that gut and hold his breath. If there’s another pic in the sequence, I’d bet a buck (inflation adjusted, of course) that he’s turning red.
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Broken Rubber

3:07 pm August, 4 Barnstaple said...

Hell aye, i want write something like this but didnt have a title accept time, may i repost this Dances upon Crabs « Hot Chicks according by the side of Douchebags

4:10 pm August, 4 Wheezer said...

@Vin (2:37 p.m.) – I find it odd that you mentioned “wallpaper” since these ladies are obviously disgusted by the poo stench of the douchebag. No doubt he is of the “wallpaper-peeling” variety of odors.

4:11 pm August, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Just the thought of these folks in a threesome could make me swear off thoughts of threesomes…permanently.

4:13 pm August, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Back to movie titles…
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The Things

4:13 pm August, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Three Greazy Pieces

5:24 pm August, 4 mandouchian candidate said...

How much for the 3 pack of Syphillis?

6:55 pm August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

heyyyyyyyy, victer, getnme da boneshaw eh! disclaimer– i hate all equally!

6:59 pm August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

shusheesshickshoimgettndafruitlickerBAAARP!

7:00 pm August, 4 Guid is Good said...

Nice tatt. Who did it – Louis XIV the Sun King?

Renaisance Douche.

7:00 pm August, 4 Soy bomb said...

Hep-C and the Hendersons.

8:12 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

He’s sucking it in so hard his asshole is whistling.

8:12 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

He’s sucking it in so hard his balls are fluttering in his rectum like cards in bicycle spokes.

8:13 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

He’s sucking it in so hard when he burps it smells like a queef.

8:13 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

He’s sucking it in so hard her purse got caught in his colon.

8:13 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

anybody?

8:18 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s sucking it in so hard, Jimmy Hoffa was found in there later.

8:19 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Beautiful pattern for curtains. Horrid for a tattoo. Filligree/Victoriana are the tribals of the new millennium.

8:20 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s sucking it in so hard, his hemorrhoids became red dwarves.

8:20 pm August, 4 creature said...

he’s sucking it in so hard he coughed up taint

8:21 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s sucking it in so hard, his liver sent a plea for clemency.

8:21 pm August, 4 creature said...

he’s sucking it in so hard his scrote wrapped around his uvala

8:22 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

I just noticed the cigar. Red suit on the left is thinking, “Oh, no, we’re not playing Oval Office again tonight!”

8:22 pm August, 4 creature said...

he’s sucking it in so hard his ass cheeks flutter

8:23 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s sucking it in so hard, the Mexican border shifted two kilometers to the north.

8:23 pm August, 4 creature said...

he’s sucking it in so hard his penis is now a womb

8:24 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Good to see ya, Creatch. We burn the midnight oil so DarkSock can take an Ambien break.
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He’s sucking it in so hard, he’s gargling his own balls.

8:24 pm August, 4 creature said...

he’s sucking it so hard there is a chinese fishing village in his colon

8:25 pm August, 4 creature said...

this guy kegels coconuts

8:25 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s sucking it in so had, his navel now sings soprano.

8:27 pm August, 4 creature said...

MOD you are the goddess of the midwest!
….he’s sucking it in so hard his toenails are now teefseses

8:27 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m gonna roll to the movie titles if you don’t mind, Sir Creatch…
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The Gagfather

8:28 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Captain Americunt

8:29 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

The Crossing Tard

8:31 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

To Swill A Cock-N-Turd

8:33 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Lamer Vs. Lamer

8:34 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Fartland

8:36 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Blight Club

8:37 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Full Metal Jackass

8:38 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Mr. Smith Needs To WashHisAss

8:38 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Harry Potter And The Saggy Manboobs

8:39 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Lock, Stock And Two Saggy Bosoms

8:40 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

The Sixth Suck

8:41 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

All Creepy On This Saggy Cunt

8:41 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Suck Soup

8:47 pm August, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

AND…Reservoir Dorks.
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Thank you and goodnight!!!

9:18 pm August, 4 DarkSock said...

I love you guys…
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Son.

10:07 pm August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

OooohOoooh, i gots one ……turd burgler!

10:12 pm August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

…or was that bugler?

10:34 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The obvious reason for his tatts is that he has hair straighter than pickup-sticks and is fixated on curls, hence the Victoriana filigree tatts where his chest hair would otherwise be, if he had any.

10:37 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

He’s sucking it in so hard because he left his colon and half his small intestines behind on the operating table when it was discovered he had intestinal worms.

10:39 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

He’s sucking it in so hard to make room for two sets of boobies approaching him port and starboard.

7:14 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

“Turd Bugler”…I’m keepin’ that one to use later, Schlicht Bindenburger. Someone needs to get it put onto Urban Dictionary, STAT!
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“Todd blew into Cindy’s anus as he was slurpin’ the doodi P, giving him the nickname “The Turd Bugler”.

3:33 pm August, 6 Stephanie said...

Putting pretty designs on a smelly pig doesn’t make the pig smell any better. As….old people say….you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

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