Friday, August 5, 2011
Friday Haiku
On this ship of Tools,
Captain offers rides on his
Good Ship Lollicockk.
Dance Party Madness
On the SS Sodomy
Rockin’ the Poop Deck
— Medusa Oblongata
Nylon waxed sea rope
Tightly tied nautical knots
Jammed in some rudders
— Vin Douchal
Well Thar she blows, mate!
Its ‘Pirates of PenisDance’
A gay play, indeed.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Captain Barbossa
Drinks his rum, weeps, and laments
“Here there be poo-rates”
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Well Thar she blows, mate!
Its ‘Pirates of PenisDance’
A gay play, indeed.
the end is nigh. milky boys beware!
Some foreign country
Given way too much leeway
And bad Ecstacy
The dawn trumpet blows
Launching the Three Hour Cruise
Of Turd Buglers.
Captain not happy
Bilge pump stuffed with used rubbers
Fish go belly-up
“Homoslavia
Welcomes you, my friend! Come now,
We fellate you, No?”
San Francisco fans
Partying since World Series
Rumps are getting sore
Two blondes in front
one topless one not
oh god,
is that her brother?
Dude-fags of all types
Sit on the dock of the Gay;
Otis Redding weeps.
GayLord Music Fest;
Bass n’ Drum and shitty drugs;
Lollapa-Losers
Cruise line motto states:
Sun, Fun, Bleeth, Douche, Gay ALL DAY!
Hope it hits Iceberg.
Douche sings Elton John:
“LET YOUR SON GO DOWN ON ME…”
Sir Elton approves.
Time for Olestra Haiku:
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Olestra Cruise Ship!
Endless chips, no weight is gained!
Gulf tar balls return.
Booze Cruise: Flags and Fags
Open bar and free K-Y
And Matthew Stafford
Jellydong in hand
The Coxswain most important
Crew member on board
You ride, captain ride
upon your mystery ship.
Be it gay and hip
Douchebag flotilla,
fleeing reality.
One good torpedo sinks ’em all
Boston Booze Cruise gone wrong
What is with guy dressed as chicken?
Shiver me timbers
Set the boat’s course for
International Waters.
Lawless destruction
Nylon waxed sea rope
Tightly tied nautical knots
Jammed in some rudders
Excuse me, Germans
It’s the Lusitania!
please send a U-boat
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Too soon?
Blondie gays pretend
To be hetero douches
Calling Moby Dick!
All hands on the deck.
In search of the great white fail.
Mission Accomplished.
Dance Party Madness
On the SS Sodomy
rockin’ the Poop Deck
He is your captain,
Getting closer to a bone
And feeling might sick.
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(apologies to GFR)
I silently pray
that the pilot of this ship
is a drunk DarkSock
Hot chicks on Doucheboat!
Rogue wave of Axe Body Spray
Swamps cleavite and pear.
Captain Barbossa
Drinks his rum, weeps, and laments
“Here there be poo-rates”
When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin’.
Fellas, I’ve got cock to feed ya.
At Seven P.M. all their assholes caved in, he said
Fellas, it’s been good t’bone ya
The captain wired in he had semen comin’ in
And the good ship in sperm was a’swimmin’.
And later that night when his balls went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Old Richard Simmons.
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Apologies to Gordon Lightfoot.
MTV’s “Love Boat”
Used Philippine ferry barge
Pray it capsizes
LOLs to Medusa
Parody breaks Haiku rules
But so worth the laughs
Sodomy, Rum & the Lash
Not what the Pogues had in mind
HMS Scallywag Fail
DB1 and crew
Films first and last episode
“Worlds Deadliest Snatch”
ALL HANDS ON DICK!
. . . M-C-A, it’s fun to stay at the . . .
Even Somali
pirates know an RPG
not worth the effort.
‘Sock had a meeting,
Had to bum-rush front-page picks;
Need to add zingers…
Gaybag convention
tears Space-Time Continuum
SS Xanadouche
Porch Beef mob convenes
douches lay Miles of cable
stinky queefs ensue
Ladies safely drink
Their nether regions ignored
Shoes may go missing
The cast of Sea Glee
gets an education, and
then a keel-haulin’!
Rogers and Hammer-
stein never foresaw the mod-
ern “South Pacific.”
Medusa, LOL…good on ya
Agreed, Medusa’s hy(brid)ku F.T.W.
Having a real job
sucks because I miss Haiku
Unemployed real soon?
Oh the trouser winds blew on the poop deck that night
And the good ship and crew were in peril
And later that night when his bunghole snapped tight
‘Twas the “rec” of the Eggmund Fitzgerald
Look at how long Kerri Struggs’ arm is. She’s in the front row, that’s her brother on her left (our right).
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Can you imagine what had to be cleaned up the next day? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.