Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday Haiku

On this ship of  Tools,
Captain offers rides on his
Good Ship Lollicockk.

Dance Party Madness
On the SS Sodomy
Rockin’ the Poop Deck

— Medusa Oblongata



Nylon waxed sea rope
Tightly tied nautical knots
Jammed in some rudders

— Vin Douchal

Well Thar she blows, mate!
Its ‘Pirates of PenisDance’
A gay play, indeed.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Captain Barbossa
Drinks his rum, weeps, and laments
“Here there be poo-rates”

— Mr. Scrotato Head

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:07 am August, 5 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Well Thar she blows, mate!
Its ‘Pirates of PenisDance’
A gay play, indeed.

7:12 am August, 5 schlicht bindenburger said...

the end is nigh. milky boys beware!

7:14 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Some foreign country
Given way too much leeway
And bad Ecstacy

7:15 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

The dawn trumpet blows
Launching the Three Hour Cruise
Of Turd Buglers.

7:16 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Captain not happy
Bilge pump stuffed with used rubbers
Fish go belly-up

7:17 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

“Homoslavia
Welcomes you, my friend! Come now,
We fellate you, No?”

7:18 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

San Francisco fans
Partying since World Series
Rumps are getting sore

7:18 am August, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Two blondes in front
one topless one not
oh god,
is that her brother?

7:20 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Dude-fags of all types
Sit on the dock of the Gay;
Otis Redding weeps.

7:21 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

GayLord Music Fest;
Bass n’ Drum and shitty drugs;
Lollapa-Losers

7:22 am August, 5 The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse said...

Cruise line motto states:
Sun, Fun, Bleeth, Douche, Gay ALL DAY!
Hope it hits Iceberg.

7:23 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Douche sings Elton John:
“LET YOUR SON GO DOWN ON ME…”
Sir Elton approves.

7:25 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Time for Olestra Haiku:
.
Olestra Cruise Ship!
Endless chips, no weight is gained!
Gulf tar balls return.

7:26 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Booze Cruise: Flags and Fags
Open bar and free K-Y
And Matthew Stafford

7:28 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Jellydong in hand
The Coxswain most important
Crew member on board

7:30 am August, 5 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

You ride, captain ride
upon your mystery ship.
Be it gay and hip

7:31 am August, 5 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Douchebag flotilla,
fleeing reality.
One good torpedo sinks ’em all

7:31 am August, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Boston Booze Cruise gone wrong
What is with guy dressed as chicken?
Shiver me timbers

7:32 am August, 5 the douche is alright said...

Set the boat’s course for
International Waters.
Lawless destruction

7:33 am August, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Nylon waxed sea rope
Tightly tied nautical knots
Jammed in some rudders

7:34 am August, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

Excuse me, Germans
It’s the Lusitania!
please send a U-boat
.
.
.
.
.
.
Too soon?

7:34 am August, 5 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Blondie gays pretend
To be hetero douches
Calling Moby Dick!

7:36 am August, 5 Claude Douchenbagger said...

All hands on the deck.
In search of the great white fail.
Mission Accomplished.

7:36 am August, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dance Party Madness
On the SS Sodomy
rockin’ the Poop Deck

7:37 am August, 5 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

He is your captain,
Getting closer to a bone
And feeling might sick.
.
.
.
.
.
(apologies to GFR)

7:38 am August, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

I silently pray
that the pilot of this ship
is a drunk DarkSock

7:38 am August, 5 Fidouchiary responsibility said...

Hot chicks on Doucheboat!
Rogue wave of Axe Body Spray
Swamps cleavite and pear.

7:42 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Captain Barbossa
Drinks his rum, weeps, and laments
“Here there be poo-rates”

7:47 am August, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin’.
Fellas, I’ve got cock to feed ya.
At Seven P.M. all their assholes caved in, he said
Fellas, it’s been good t’bone ya
The captain wired in he had semen comin’ in
And the good ship in sperm was a’swimmin’.
And later that night when his balls went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Old Richard Simmons.
.
Apologies to Gordon Lightfoot.

7:51 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

MTV’s “Love Boat”
Used Philippine ferry barge
Pray it capsizes

7:52 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

LOLs to Medusa
Parody breaks Haiku rules
But so worth the laughs

7:52 am August, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Sodomy, Rum & the Lash
Not what the Pogues had in mind
HMS Scallywag Fail

7:58 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

DB1 and crew
Films first and last episode
“Worlds Deadliest Snatch”

8:07 am August, 5 schlicht bindenburger said...

ALL HANDS ON DICK!

8:14 am August, 5 Douche Wayne said...

. . . M-C-A, it’s fun to stay at the . . .

8:40 am August, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Even Somali
pirates know an RPG
not worth the effort.

9:43 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

‘Sock had a meeting,
Had to bum-rush front-page picks;
Need to add zingers…

9:56 am August, 5 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Gaybag convention
tears Space-Time Continuum
SS Xanadouche

10:00 am August, 5 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Porch Beef mob convenes
douches lay Miles of cable
stinky queefs ensue

12:48 pm August, 5 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

Ladies safely drink
Their nether regions ignored
Shoes may go missing

4:38 pm August, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

The cast of Sea Glee
gets an education, and
then a keel-haulin’!

4:39 pm August, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Rogers and Hammer-
stein never foresaw the mod-
ern “South Pacific.”

4:45 pm August, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Medusa, LOL…good on ya

5:22 pm August, 5 hermit android thumbs said...

Agreed, Medusa’s hy(brid)ku F.T.W.

7:11 pm August, 5 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Having a real job
sucks because I miss Haiku
Unemployed real soon?

10:01 am August, 6 Douchial Webster said...

Oh the trouser winds blew on the poop deck that night
And the good ship and crew were in peril
And later that night when his bunghole snapped tight
‘Twas the “rec” of the Eggmund Fitzgerald

3:50 am August, 8 Douchble Helix said...

Look at how long Kerri Struggs’ arm is. She’s in the front row, that’s her brother on her left (our right).
.
Can you imagine what had to be cleaned up the next day? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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