Friday Haiku
“I use Magnums, girls…”
Later they found that he meant
Butt plugs, not condoms.
or:
Jack proudly displays
His daily ampule full of
Horse and mule steroids.
*UPDATE* – See? DarkSock’s failure and procrastination pay off, as usual. Behold the bounty of 5-7-5 Snark:
Magnum goes full Kahn.
Sommelier to the sluts.
I’ll take seven Bra.
— Reverend Chad Kroeger
Not to be outdone,
Dewey’s steroid enhancements,
Compete with Fay’s cans.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Vic has a tough choice:
Giant bottle or huge cans
Right chick needs a shave
— saulgoode42
That is how much booze
It would take me to have sex
With him. All of it.
— I give up
Magnum of Cristal
Compensates for one small peen
Dom Perignon weeps
— Choad The Douche Sprocket
Napolean Bone
Overcompensates for peen
“Gimme the big one!”
— Douche Wayne
Here’s the wine cellar
Deep in Mr. White’s basement –
Drink up, you douchebag.
— Medusa Oblongata
Bottle service
means Something very different
To gay porn star here
— Jacques Doucheteau
The midget vintner
Shows babes ” The Roid Rage” pinot
Crushed grapes between legs
— Cool Hand Douche
Big Heaving Bosoms
Narcissism on Display
There Are Girls Here, Too
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jack Lalanne becomes
reincarnated as douche.
Fuccen juicer works?
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Katie smiles and says,
It will take a more booze than that
Til you flick my bean
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Nipple nipple nip
Nipple nipple nip Nipple…….
nip nipple nipple
— McWhatadouche
One out of the three,
Can deep throat the whole bottle,
Hint: It’s not the blondes
— Condouchious
My dream tale would read:
“Bottle cracked over ‘bag’s head;
‘blondes’ strip, bathe, wrestle.”
— Wheezer
Yo. There. Adrienne.
Now yoose all old and broke. Rock
Rolls with the Crystal.
Magnum goes full Kahn.
Sommelier to the sluts.
I’ll take seven Bra.
Not to be outdone,
Dewey’s steroid enhancements,
Compete with Fay’s cans.
Jeroboam Joe
Is ready to blow. Too much cash
To impress the hotts.
Hey ladies!. Let me
Take my shoes off so I can look
You square in the tits.
I’m guessin’ it’s a
bit nippy in the cellar.
And totally Douche.
Five seven and five
Are not enough syllables
To describe this mess
I can’t continue.
Lefty’s back arch and Eye of
Coitus made me stiff.
Joe shows the blonde hots
The grease jar he filled this month.
Pecs and hair sweat, man!
Soon to discover
What “anal discomfort” means
Two clueless old MILFs
Price Is Right girls day
Off. Head to Sonoma. Make
Sure they neuter Douche.
Joe’s so addicted
to Golden Showers, that he
now bottles his own.
Midlife Crisis nears
Bleeths Feeding my Affliction
Bottle full of roids
Vic has a tough choice:
Giant bottle or huge cans
Right chick needs a shave
From here, a short trip
To that “Gaping Asses” site
As they will find out
“This will fit nicely
now bend over and . . . awe damn”
hot dog down hallway.
Any second they both
Will learn a painful lesson:
What “prolapse” feels like.
^For you, Rev.
That is how much booze
It would take me to have sex
With him. All of it.
Botox’d bottle blondes
Envy douche cleavage reveal
One gives moustache rides
Keebler Elves decide
to expand cookie empire;
bottled pixie piss.
Oldbag buys some hots
Bottle service; it’s on me!
Enjoy STD.
I would like a poke
in the eyes from left hott’s cans.
They look like tire valves.
Edgar Allen Poe
penned of walled-in drunken douche
Give me my trowel . . .
This guy wears tight pants
So His Odor is contained
Ballsack Smells Like Poo.
What the fuck ladies
This bottle wont drink itself
Drink yourselves pretty!
He’s got an eighties
cassette player in his pants??
Douchin’ the Oldies!
Magnum of Cristal
Compensates for one small peen
Dom Perignon weeps
Napolean Bone
Overcompensates for peen
“Gimme the big one!”
^ Choad
Great minds, baby, great minds . . .
This douche landed hotts
By claiming to be photog
Psych! Model Mayhem!
Looks like his shirt says
“Don’t Blow Me”. This is because
he’ll do the blowing.
I suck at Haiku
Guy is a tool with Milf Bleeth
Wine Cellar now Tainted
At end of the night
he will climb the ladder and
sleep in his cubby.
marshmallow candy
wrapped in see through black fabric
i think i see neeps
While that’s some bottle
I think the message within
is probably blank.
Here’s the wine cellar
deep in Mr. White’s basement
drink up, you douchebag.
Ladies will you please
do me a special favor?
Jam this up my ass!
DarkSock’s commercial:
“I don’t always pee in horse.
Stay thirsty, Douchebags.”
I’m rather obsessed
with drinking pee this morning.
I’ll try something else.
Sly Stallone’s brother
has special youth elixir.
Damn. It doesn’t work.
The family that
golden showers together
will stay together.
Is this the porno
Rendition of “Sideways” with
Paul Giatwatty?
Or
Is this the porno
Version of “Sideways” with
Pole Giatwatty?
^ It’s called, “Longways”
Bottle service means
Something very different
To gay porn star here
Douchebag Price Is Right
Showcase Showdown Number One
Bottle, jet-ski and crabs.
Without just4men he’s 64
Bottle of HGH for sure
Who cares, nip show on left
Bottle of steroids,
Makes man cleavage prominent,
Matches shriveled balls
He wears nad tight pants
Ladiez are not impressed much
Yo, livin’ the life
The latest vintage
From Douchlio Gallo smells
Strangely like semen.
The midget vintner
Shows babes ” The Roid Rage” pinot
Crushed grapes between legs
lips and asshole! YOU CUNTS!
Bottle is twofold,
Has roids and compensates junk,
I count seven boobs
@schlicht sphincterburger, that’s only 6-0-0.
Big Heaving Bosoms
Narcissism on Display
There Are Girls Here, Too
Douche uses bottle
To point out to everyone
That nip is showing
Jack Lalanne becomes
reincarnated as douche.
Fuccen juicer works?
Grieco virus goes
mutant. Can now infect plants.
Have to swear off wine.
Bleeths had no idea
of what Jack meant when he asked
“You like micturation?”
While twatties twitter
Overcompensation Jack
prepares for long night.
@ i give up… i went to public skool!. YOU CUNTS!
Nipples McBoobie
says no to “Spin the Bottle”
’cause it smells like pee.
the wifebeater shirt
in a wine cellar is like
knighting Flavor Flav
Katie smiles and says,
It will take a more booze than that
Til you flick my bean
Sock’s meeting ran looong;
So front-pagers are delayed.
More to choose from! Son.
They’ll post this evening.
And they will be as epic
As this tool’s booze jug.
Nip nipple nip
Nipple nipple nip
Nipple nip……….nipple
One out of the three,
Can deep throat the whole bottle,
Hint: It’s not the blondes
@ condouchious – hilarity. You win.
Since when did Waffle
House hire sommeliers? Bleeths
try grits and pinot?
upper pectorals,
that’s; pectoralis minor,
upper pectorals.
My dream tale would read:
“Bottle cracked over ‘bag’s head;
‘blondes’ strip, bathe, wrestle.”
Opportunity
never knocks like this for day
shifters; gotta try…..
Jagoff LaLanne holds
Great-grandpa’s urine sample;
seeks fountain of youth
Didn’t read all^ posts…..
sorry if I copy others;
unintentional.
Ignore 5-8-5^
as it’s a rush job, much like
douchebag’s bedroom skills.
Left ‘blonde’ has hard nips;
chilled wine cellar pic thrills me,
just ‘Shop out the ‘bag.
Karen’s Mom and Aunt
will return soon with legal
team for pic takedown
“More than three straight posts
means you’re playin’ with it”; guess
I’m about to come.
Old “Oddly Enough”^
rules from Yahoo; they would love
this fuccen site, natch!
‘Ctrl’ and scroll up:
better view of left’s boobies
and hardened nipples
At the Belle Mount Stakes,
‘Sock’s meeting ran over like
his love in horse butt.
Lefty Blonde MILF arches
silicon domes peek-a-boo
Methinks it’s a tuck
Dianabol Douche
Twin MILFs Maximum Bubbly
Nebuchadnezzar
“Mine is really big”.
The girls didn’t know he meant
his champagne bottle.
Spent too much time here.
Read each one of the haikus.
Wheezer cracks me up.
Douche shows off magnum
of wine made from yeast obtained from
Karen’s runny snatch.
Daughter to the left of me
Milf is to the right Here i am
Douche in the middle with you
Guidouche hefts magnum
runneth over with Olestra
Leakage then prolapse
“Nipple nipple nip
Nipple nipple nip Nipple…….
nip nipple nipple”
Another keyboard
Gets drenched with coffee instead
Of champagne, dammit!
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